


What Fate Decides

by whynot



Series: Kellogg and Nate [1]
Category: Fallout 4
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Sex, Lies, M/M, Oral Sex, Past Child Abuse, Past Relationship(s), Rough Sex, Smut, Violence, mentions of child abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-15
Updated: 2017-07-15
Packaged: 2018-12-01 09:08:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 33
Words: 45,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11483172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whynot/pseuds/whynot
Summary: Nathan Gentry, once a trusted lackey to one of the most powerful crime lords in Boston, finds himself emerging from Vault 111 into a post apocalyptic Commonwealth. Not long after, he's approached by a man offering mercenary work.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> An au in which Kellogg wasn't the one to kill Nora. Hope you enjoy!
> 
> \- Ellie

Nate opened the kitchen door too aggressively and winced when it crashed against the counter. Nora squeaked in surprise, hands flinching out of her purse.

“Honey, you really need to stop…” Her eyes widened and she rushed over to him, taking his bloodied face in her hands. “What in the world happened now?”

“Nothin’ to worry about,” Nate smiled, hiding the pain he felt from the stretch of his split bottom lip. He could smell Nora’s perfume wafting from her neck, the scent she used for night outs. Wearing a black dress and glittering necklace, he knew where she was going. Who she was about to see.

“Nothing to worry about?” she repeated in a huff, scurrying to the sink to wet a rag. “Have you seen your face?”

“In the car window.” He leaned against the counter. “Opponent got pissed that I was winning so he threw off his gloves and went at me.”

She strode back to him and dabbed the rag against the cut on the bridge of his nose. “Hope he got disqualified.”

“Match was forfeit.” He sucked in a sharp breath through his teeth when she pressed too hard, and Nora’s hand retracted, concern etched into her expression. She was too young to have worry lines already, too good of a person to be taking care of someone like him.

“Really, I’m fine,” he assured, gently taking the rag from her. “You going out to work on that case?”

Nora darted her eyes away from his and blinked rapidly a few times, her tell for when she was lying. “Uh, yeah. Gotta keep up appearances.” She went back to her purse and dug out her keys, then draped the strap on her shoulder and returned to Nate. “I’ll be late, so don’t wait up. I just fed Shaun so he’s good for now, but there’s bottles in the fridge just in case.”

Nate smiled. It was genuine, despite what he knew. “Got it. You have fun.” He leaned down when she placed a hand on his cheek and gave her a quick kiss.

“Oh,” she giggled, wiping away the blood that had smeared onto her lip. “Take something to help the pain, okay? I love you.”

“Love you, too. Drive safe.” He stayed where he was until the door closed behind her, then he pushed off the counter and slumped down on the couch.

Nathan loved Nora, he really did. She’d taken care of him for years, loved him unconditionally, saw him at his ugliest and still stuck around. So he did everything to return the favor. She dreamt of being a lawyer, he supported her the whole way. She said she wanted to get married, he proposed. She wished for a house with a white picket fence, he moved them to Sanctuary Hills. She longed for a kid one late night at the park, he got her pregnant right there. Nora wanted a comfortable living, so Nathan did his damnedest to give her one. If that meant making his own life hell… so be it.

But what Nora didn’t know, didn’t hurt her. So Nathan kept her in the light, safe and happy in an ideal life, while he stalked around the worst places in Boston without her being any the wiser. He masked up the scent of smoke with the expensive cologne that she loved, told her the bruises on his knuckles were from going at a punching bag bare handed, owned a second cell phone that only came out when she was away or asleep, kept the duffel packs of money in the root cellar that she didn’t dare go down to for fear of spiders, told her that his pistol was just a precaution, didn’t even think of revealing that it had saved his life six times in the seven years they’ve been married. Kept the sarcasm and venom-laced words to a minimum around her, the attitude that kept him alive out there. He was a snarling wolf that rolled over like a puppy when it came to her.

Nathan didn’t let a single grimy finger of his life touch Nora, past or present. Because he loved her. He really did.

His second cell vibrated in his pocket, and his chest tightened with unease as he answered it. “Mr Navarra,” he greeted, standing up like the man was in front of him.

“Nathan,” his boss responded, sleazy smile audible in his voice. “Just checking in. Have you made the transaction?”

“Uh, no sir, they cancelled and rescheduled last minute.”

“That so…?” A long pause, and Nate stayed silent. He knew better than to speak without being addressed. “Call it off.”

His brows furrowed. “Yeah?”

“Yeah. Sal will take care of it. You just keep the money safe for now.”

Things were never good when Sal got involved. “Yes sir.” He heard a chair creak on the other line and pictured Navarra leaning back behind his desk.

“You pack your stuff?”

“Yes sir. I can’t thank you enough for getting us a spot in the Vault, and I appreciate you thinking about my family.”

Navarra chuckled. “No thanks necessary, son. It’s the least I can do. You just make sure you stay alive long enough to get there, okay? I went through a lot to get you three a spot in there.”

“Yes sir.”

"You're sure you don't want to use that extra pod? Time's ticking. Wait too long, my guy on the inside won't be able to pull strings no more."

"Yeah, I'm sure. Just my wife and son."

“… All right. I’ll talk to you soon. G’night, Nate.”

“Good night, sir.”

He waited until the line disconnected before hanging up, then released a breath he didn’t know he was holding. With lingering nervousness still buzzing through him Nate couldn't sit back down, so instead he walked down the hall to the bathroom, looking into the sink's mirror. His upper lip twitched at the sight of his reflection - light brown hair in messy, sweaty tufts, left eye socket already bruising and his mouth swollen. A split ran down his bottom lip, and a cut from his 'opponent's' ring crossed his nose.

_New dealer knows how to fight back. Have to handle him better next time._

He leaned down and washed the blood from his face, holding back a hiss at the sting from his lip and nose, but the clean up was cut short when a cry came from Shaun's room.

"Ah, c'mon, kid," Nate sighed, grabbing a towel and patting his face dry as he made his way to the crib. "What d'you want." His toes kicked something and he stepped back to see Shaun's teddy bear on the floor. "Ooh, you want your bear?" Shaun's tiny arms reached out to the stuffed animal as Nate lowered it into the crib. "There ya go, kiddo.”

His second cell phone buzzed in his pocket again, and anxiety went through him like a shockwave.  _He never calls back this quick. Something’s wrong. I fucked up somehow and he’s gonna—_

“Mr. Navarra.”

“How ya doin’ cariño?”

Nate sighed before letting out a shaky laugh. “Fuck you, you scared the shit outta me.”

“Aaww, sorry ‘bout that. It’s just that I was thinkin’ about ya, thought I’d clue you in.”

Nate walked out of Shaun's room, his son now content with his bear. “Yeah? I’m all ears. And all alone.”

“Better be, ‘cause this one’s gonna make ya blush.”

 

* * *

 

Without seeing Mae almost every day, Kellogg felt like he was starting to fade back to his old self. More like a gen 2 synth than an actual man - an unfeeling machine used to clean up other people's messes. There was no one to keep him on his toes, to throw him off with a sudden smile or excited greeting, or to pull him into conversations that didn't matter. Someone to keep his demons in dark corners by being a source of light.

He'd try for her to not fall down that dark hole - Mae had worked hard pulling him out of it. But it was difficult when his job was to cause chaos and loss of life.

He cleared his throat, then opened the meeting room door. “You wanted to see me, sir?” he asked, stepping through the threshold and getting the attention of each division head.

“Ah. Kellogg,” Father greeted. “You were a mercenary, correct?”

 _Knows I was. He’s gearing up for something._ “Yes sir.”

Father simply nodded, and Kellogg could practically see the wheels turning in his head. Shaun exchanged a glance with Li, then set his calm gaze right back on him. “As you may know, my father is cryogenically frozen in Vault 111. I think… well, I think it’s about time I have him released. I’m starting a sort of… experiment. I want to see if he will attempt to look for the son he had lost. And I want you, in the guise of a mercenary, to offer your services and make sure he has the help he requires.”

Kellogg shifted his weight from foot to foot. “Uh…” Father cocked an expectant brow, and Kellogg cleared his throat again. “You want me to help him find the Institute?”

“Not directly, no. I simply want you to accompany him. You will not tell him anything of your role, or of this facility. As far as he will be concerned, you’re hired help. Just make sure he accepts.”

“With all due respect, sir, I don’t think helping a complete stranger, indirectly or not, find this place is the best plan.”

“Leave it to the cold-blooded killer to say something logical,” Ayo grumbled, quiet enough to his colleague that the old man wouldn’t hear.

“Your concern is noted, Kellogg,” Father said. “I will be having him released in exactly three days. Do what you need to prepare for it. You are dismissed.”

Kellogg nodded, a quick jerk of his head. “Sir.” He turned around, but stopped inside the doorway. “Does Claudette know about this plan?”

Father met his eyes. “No. And you won’t need to worry about her. I’ve assured that she won’t recognize you if you should come across her with my father. You won’t be compromised.”

Kellogg nodded, slowly and subtly, then turned back and left.

_Stuck with a fucking babysitting job. Great._

His p.i.p device gave off a burst of feedback, and Kellogg lifted his arm to switch through the screens, stopping on an alert sent from Mae's own device. Her p.i.p had been receiving irregular readings, often enough for it to register as a concern.

"Fuck," Kellogg hissed. "Fuck, fuck, fuck. Okay..." 

He retrieved a few chems from the nearest emergency med kit and relayed out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The ending to this chapter ties in with my fic Scared in Mae's series if you wanna check it out. It's not important to this fic though.
> 
> I hope you guys end up liking Nate just as much as you like Mae :)
> 
> \- Ellie


	2. Chapter 2

_“All Vault residence must vacate immediately_.”

Nate fell against the door’s frame, jaw tight to stop his teeth from chattering, and scraped the mutant radroach guts off his shoe, having punted the thing down the corridor. He spotted a pack of smokes on the Overseer’s desk and sighed in relief before hurrying over to dig a cigarette out with shaking fingers. He snatched a flip lighter from a half-opened drawer and lit it, taking an eye watering drag as he sat down on the desk.

Then he tucked his knees to his chest, blew out a steady stream of smoke… and cried. Ugly, violent sobs that wracked his body, growling wails that vibrated his chest. He cried until no tears would fall, until his skin and teeth were thrumming and his cigarette was burned down to the filter. Until Nora's murder stopped replaying in his head.

Then he lit a new cigarette and pressed on.

Their suitcases were among a hundred more, the clothes inside perfectly preserved. Nate stripped off his vault suit to yank on jeans and his favorite ratty t-shirt, then his jacket. He hauled the suitcase up and continued through, feeling the chill that had seeped into his bones being chased away by the change of clothing.

 

  
Sanctuary Hills was dilapidated and crumbling, Nora’s dream home now as dead as she was. Nate went straight to their house, chest tightening as he walked down the hall passed Shaun’s room and into his and Nora’s. He folded the ruined carpet back to reveal his hidden floor safe and put the code into the combination lock, having to pry the dials out of place. He unzipped the backpack inside to retrieve his Jericho pistol, and the weight of it in his hand was more comforting than it’s ever been before.

Just as he was about to heft the pack out, he spotted a lump in one of the pockets. Unzipping it, he pulled out a stack of photos. He screwed his eyes shut at the first one, memories flashing like a flipbook. Taking a deep breath through his nose, Nate looked back down.

Faded and discolored, he stood with Neco’s arm draped around him, both of them digging two fingers under their jaws like the barrels of pistols, Nate's lips cocked in a snarl and Neco sticking his tongue out. It was old, one of the first he’d taken with one of Navarra’s boys. Back when he was young and cocky, eager to prove himself.

He shuffled to the next photo, and he huffed through his nose. It was a picture of him after his first fight with one of the dealers, before he knew how to actually defend himself instead of just throwing punches. His eye was swollen, blood smeared under his nose and mouth but he had a cheshire cat grin, cigarette between his fingers. In the background was a man passing by in a blur, but his smile was evident. If Nate remembered right, the guy had been laughing.

The next photo was another old one, stupid and arrogant. Duffel packs of money and chems and weapons, with another one of Navarra’s new recruits posing behind them. Nate shook his head and moved passed it.

The next one made him grin. A man laying in a hotel bed, mouth open as he spoke and gestured towards the camera wielder. He’d been one of Nate’s one night stands, tried to urge him back into bed as he snapped a few photos. He was exactly Nate's type, tough guy with scratchy stubble and buzzed hair, strong jaw and a cocky smile.

Tucking it to the back, his stomach twisted in knots. The next photo was of him and Navarra, the big boss laughing at something Nate had said, and Nate looking like a kid on Christmas because of it.

He wondered if Navarra made it to his bunker. He hoped he did. He hoped the boss made it in time with his family - his wife and daughters by his side. The man deserved the rest.

_Like he was such a great person? Fucker was a monster. You know that._

_But he was a good guy to some people. His family loved him, he did everything for them. You met his kids, remember? They were such daddy’s girls. Looked at him like he put the stars in the sky._

_‘Cause he probably made ‘em think he actually did. He liked that kind of leverage, even with his own family. He made people depend on him. Gave 'em what they wanted and made sure they believed he was the only one who could._

Nate shooed the thoughts away and tucked the photos back into their pocket, then kicked the safe’s lid closed. He opened his suitcase again and stuffed the few clothes into his pack, along with his toothbrush and toothpaste. The last article of clothing made him huff out a laugh - a tank top with the sleeve holes dropping to expose his waist. His "douchebag shirt” Neco had dubbed it.

He stuffed it in with the rest of his clothes and shouldered the pack.  _Guess all that’s left is leaving town and finding out what’s left._

 

 

As soon as he reached the Red Rocket, three people stepped out into the road. Two holding guns, and one wielding a tire iron.

“Hey vaultie,” one of the men greeted, propping his shotgun against his shoulder. “You got some goodies for us?”

“Fuck off,” Nate said lowly, hiding his surprise at seeing people so soon.

“Wrong answer.” The man reached for him, and Nate kneed him in the crotch before grabbing his own pistol and spinning around to shoot the other man behind him square in the chest, just as he was preparing to send a bullet through the back of Nate's head.

Hands slapped onto him and cold fear shot through him from their position - he’s seen Sal snap a neck or two, and this was exactly how he did it.

But before the expected movement happened, two more gunshots rang out and the woman behind him slumped to the ground, followed by the man holding the tire iron. Nathan whipped around to see the woman's eye shot out and blood pooling under her head, having been hit from behind. A short distance away, a man was approaching is easy strides. 

“Stop,” Nate ordered when they were just a few feet apart, aiming his pistol at him.

“Yeah, pull a gun on the man who just saved your life,” the stranger said, putting his hands palm-side up in surrender, a .44 magnum in his right grip. “That’s a solid plan.” His voice was deep, had a thrum to it, and Nathan suppressed a shiver.

“Why’d you do it?” Nate questioned. “Want what I got for yourself?”

“Would’ve let ‘er kill you if I did. I’m just lookin’ for work. You’re a vaultie, right? You’re gonna need someone watching your back out here.”

“You some kind of mercenary?”

“That’s right.”

“Well I can take care of myself—“ The man’s hand suddenly lashed out and snatched the Jericho from his hand, then swept his feet from underneath him so he landed on his ass. The man had been getting closer and Nate hadn’t even noticed.

“You forget you almost got your neck snapped not even a minute ago?” the stranger responded. “You even kill someone before today?”

“Four times, pulled a gun six.” The answer came without much thought.

He blinked in surprise. “Yeah? Couldn’t tell since you’re so fuckin’ reckless.”

“Well… I’m used to people scattering after I pull the trigger,” he admitted begrudgingly.

The man extended a hand down to him and Nate took it, a noise of surprise hiccuping from him when he was hauled up rather than simply helped. “Look, you can try to act tough and say you can handle yourself, but the truth of that is that it’s gonna get you killed out here. You need someone with experience watching your back."

Nate paused to not only think, but give the man a once over. He was taller by around two inches and certainly older, skin weathered and ruddy. An old but nasty scar crossed his left eye, and his nose was slightly misshapen from being broken too many times. His hair and beard were nothing but stubble, and his lashes were short.

A worn face, but definitely attractive. Hard lines and sharp cheekbones, but gentle, calm eyes. Nate scanned down to his chest, sturdy under his shirt and brown leather jacket, then lower to—

“Hey, pretty boy.” A sharp whistle. “Eyes up here.”

He darted back up to the man’s face and tried to will his cheeks not to flush. “What’s it cost to hire you?”

“Well, out here caps are currency, but since you’re from a Vault I’m gonna guess you ain’t got any. So let’s say you pay me back when you get four hundred.”

“How good are you?”

“I’m the best.”

He huffed in amusement. “I don’t think the best would sell himself for four hundred.”

“I’m a generous man.”

Nathan glanced away, shifted his weight, then stuck his hand out. “All right. You’re hired. I’m Nathan, by the way.”

The merc took his hand in a tight grip and shook it once. He hesitated, then offered Nathan his pistol back. “Kellogg.”

“And what’s your first name?”

“Who says that ain’t?”

“No one, but I don’t think any mother would be cruel enough to name their kid _Kellogg_.”

He huffed, the corner of his lips twitching. “… Kellogg’s good enough.”

Nate nodded. “All right. For now.”

The merc’s eyes narrowed and he shifted his weight, but whatever he was about to say was cut off by a flare shooting into the sky from Concord.

“Okay, first stop is that way,” Nate decided. “C’mon.”


	3. Chapter 3

When Kellogg had ‘hired’ the Raiders earlier and signaled them with the glint of his rifle, he hadn’t expected Nathan to open fire. He was supposed to come in and take them down himself, show the vaultie that he needed someone. Pre-war guy like him shouldn’t have fired a gun in his life, much less pulled it six times. Though considering how he looked, Kellogg shouldn't have been surprised. It was like Nathan came from a different time. He didn't wear the kind of style Kellogg had seen in posters and on wastelanders who longed to bring back the old days. He was... rougher. Messier. Jeans, an undershirt and a black jacket advertising a boxing club Kellogg had passed a few times in Boston. 

And the guy was chatty, tried to reel him into conversations. But luckily Kellogg was good at blocking someone out.

“I get it,” Nathan said, and that brought Kellogg back in. He didn’t respond, just sidelong glanced at him and cocked a brow. “You’re one of those really tough acting guys, silent brooding type. I knew a ton of guys like you. You think you’re all tough ‘cause you’ve seen some shit, but I’ve seen some shit too and I’m nothin’ like you.”

He huffed out a mocking laugh. “Yeah? And what’ve you seen that’s so damn bad. Car crash?”

Nathan looked away and screwed his eyes shut, jerking his head as if to throw off a memory. When he opened his eyes he stared ahead. “To name one thing? Saw a guy get tortured.”

“So you saw someone get beaten—“ He was interrupted by a cold, breathy laugh.

“That would’ve been nothing. He was taken apart right in front of me. Teeth pried out first, then his fingernails and toenails. Then his fingers were cut off at each joint, hands hacked off at the wrists, toes chopped off and feet severed at the ankles. Arms sawed half way up his forearms, then at the elbows, then it was his calfs and knees—“

“All right, I get it,” Kellogg piped up, seeing the vaultie start to travel back to whenever that memory took place. “Jesus, why the hell’d you witness that?”

Nathan, though not smiling, perked up a bit at the question, obviously getting a bit excited that Kellogg was actually contributing to a conversation, as gruesome as this particular one was. And Kellogg was surprised himself - he was actually curious. “My boss was showing me what happens to people who betray him.”

“What kind of fucking boss did you have?”

“Crime lord.”

Kellogg’s brows shot up in surprise. That was the last thing he expected Shaun’s father to have been involved in. “A crime lord.”

He nodded.

_Guess that explains the clothes. He was part of a whole different crowd._

Kellogg waited a moment. “… Well? Why were you workin’ for a guy like that?” He saw the subtle twitch of Nathan’s lips and realized what he was doing - turning the tables. It was his turn to be silent. Kellogg could see the amusement in his expression.

“So what kind of shit do I have to watch out for?” Apparently he couldn’t stay silent for long. “Like, what kind of nightmare fueling dangers are out here?”

“Oh, pal,” Kellogg sighed, “you could give me the the rest of the day to list them off and I couldn’t get them all.”

“Okay… give me the main ones?”

“Raiders - those guys you had a run-in with, Deathclaws—“ he paused when he heard Nathan’s sharp intake of breath through his nose.

He turned to Kellogg and calmly asked, “What the fuck is a Deathclaw?”

“Uh… They’re big, with horns and…,” he gestured loosely, “claws.”

“A very vivd description, I’m-I’m moved, really.”

“Okay, smart ass. You’ll find out soon enough what those fuckers look like. Then there’s yao guais - they’re mutated bears, feral ghouls,” he held up his finger when Nathan opened his mouth, “I’ll get to those. There’s giant mutated insects like rad scorpions, bloatflies, bloodbugs, sting wings. You got Gunners - mercs that attack anything that moves, rogue bots like protectrons, securitrons, assaultrons—“

“All right, I get it.” Nathan took out a cigarette from the pack in his pocket. “You’re upsetting my stomach.”

“What, did you expect things to be pleasant out here?” He shook his head when Nathan gestured the cigarette carton towards him.

“Guess not. So, feral ghouls?”

“Right, ferals. When the bombs fell, a lot of people were fucked up by radiation, turned into sort of intelligent zombies. Those are regular Ghouls. Ferals weren’t so lucky, their minds deteriorated and it turned ‘em into actual zombies. All they do is hiss and gurgle and tear apart whoever they get their hands on.”

Nathan blew out a steady stream of smoke. “… Fuck.”

Kellogg laughed for the first time in months. It was a small chuckle, sounding strange coming from himself. Raspy, chalky. Nathan shot him a smirk as he took another drag from his cigarette, and Kellogg felt like his spinal cord had been plucked like a taut wire.

There was something about Nathan that he couldn’t put a finger on. Like there was an air of mischief about him, a roguish glint ever-present in the green eyes that were framed by long dark lashes. Eyes that were too clear and too bright for the fucked up world they were in. Nathan had no idea what was ahead of him, how confused and frustrated and disappointed he was going to be.

Realizing he was staring, Kellogg tore his eyes away to stare ahead. He felt Nathan’s gaze on him for a moment longer before he did the same, bringing his cigarette back to his lips.

 

* * *

 

When they reached Concord, they came across a a single man sniping down Raiders in the street from the balcony of the museum.

“We gotta help, right?” Nathan questioned. “I mean, there’s a lot of them.”

“We don’t _have_ to,” Kellogg mumbled, hoping they didn’t waste time on helping some scavver in a colonial duster.

“But we will,” Nathan decided, taking his surprisingly impressive pistol and shooting down four of the Raiders in rapid fire. The precision from their distance caught Kellogg by surprise, leaving him distracted and in turn having returning fire nail him in the shoulder. He hissed out a breath through clenched teeth, his entire arm recoiling from the impact, but it was more from annoyance. the Institute tech planted in him had an inhibitor for pain, so he didn’t feel the scream of the bullets’ presence, only the pressure of them plunging into his body. He ignored Nathan’s shouted curse and grabbed his .44 to take down the six remaining Raiders.

“What the fuck?” Nathan said with furrowed brows, apparently not used to seeing someone get shot only to brush it off in seconds.

The man on the balcony called down to them. “You two! I have people inside that need help, and the Raiders are almost through the door!”

“On our way,” Nathan called up, then turned back to Kellogg. “Do you—do you need anything? Like…” He trailed off when Kellogg injected a stimpak.

“All better,” Kellogg said dryly, feeling the stim’s liquid eating the bullets away and knitting his wounds back together. “Want me to take point?”

He nodded, still staring at his shoulder. “Yeah, sure.”

 

* * *

 

Nate had never been shot before, but by the way Kellogg handled it he imagined it wasn’t so terrible. That was until a bullet hit his waist and two more caught his bicep. Adrenaline had kept him focused through it, putting the pain on the back burner, but once the firefight stopped it was shooting through him like lightning, branches of white hot pain spiking from the bullet points.

“Thanks Kellogg, you’re a great merc, doin’ awesome,” he ground out, leaning against the wall while Kellogg found two stimpaks in his pocket.

“What, did you expect me to be your human shield?” he countered, stabbing one of the chems into Nate's arm.

“It’s always great to take one for the team.”

“Well you can’t be hurting that bad if you can still be a smart ass.” He injected the second stimpak into Nate’s waist.

“You made it seem like a fuckin’ mosquito bite.” He rolled his shoulder to test it out - a dull ache pulsed in his bicep, but the intense pain was gone.

“Get shot enough times and you get used to it.”

“Somehow I think that’s bullshit.”

“Maybe.”

Nate narrowed his eyes but a small smile betrayed his feigned annoyance, and he pushed off the wall to reach the room they had been heading for.“I don’t know who you are, but your timing’s impeccable.” the sniper greeted. “Preston Garvey. Commonwealth Minuteman.”

“Minuteman?” Nate repeated, shaking the man’s hand when it was offered. “So now I’m traveling backwards in time.”

“Protect the people at a minute’s notice. That was the plan. Then… things fell apart. Now it looks like I’m the only Minuteman left standing.”

“Who are the people with you?”

“Folks just looking for a home. Quincy looked good at first, but the Gunners took over. Then we came here, but the raiders followed us. Now Mama Murphy, the woman on the couch, she says there’s a place nearby called Sanctuary. That’s where we’re heading next.”

“I was just there,” Nate informed. “It seemed pretty safe.”

“Yeah? That’s good to hear. How about you head back with us?” He hefted a large pack onto his shoulder and the greaser behind him did the same.

 _Well, I guess I can tell them to lay off my house._ “Sure.”  
 

Nate took the lead out of the museum, and after a few steps the sewer grate at the end of the street jolted. “The fuck?” he breathed.

“The very face of death itself,” the old woman gasped behind him.

“Deathclaw,” Kellogg clarified, an instant before a massive creature burst from below.

“Oh fuck that,” Nate nearly laughed. “Fuck that right up the fuckin’—“

The beast let out a blood curdling roar and charged towards them. Preston took a stance in front of the Quincy survivors, and to Nate’ slight surprise Kellogg stepped in front of him. Two shots to the Deathclaw’s leg from his .44 and it fell, but that didn’t make it give up. It crawled towards them, now enraged, but three more shots straight into its head had it letting out a dying screech.

“Shit,” Preston whispered. “Never saw a Deathclaw go down that quickly before.”

Kellogg ignored him and looked at Nate, gesturing to the dead creature. “Deathclaw.”

“Yeah, thank you, Kellogg,” Nate said quickly in annoyance, but then he sighed and repeated sincerely, “Thank you.”

“Just doin’ my job.”

Nate himself was shaking even with the encounter over, but Kellogg was the picture of calm, his expression one of a man who didn’t fear death in the slightest.

Nate broke eye contact and looked ahead. “Right, let’s go.”


	4. Chapter 4

“I really think we can settle down here,” Preston smiled, scanning his eyes over Sanctuary through the dimness of evening. “Just need to fix it up. It’ll take some work, but…” He shrugged.

“Yeah,” Nate nodded. “I think you guys can make a home out of this place.”

Preston’s smile brightened. “That's good to hear. We'll be glad to have you around any time, uh...” His expression turned questioning, and Nate offered his name.

“Nathan Gentry. Or just Nate.”

“Nate,” Preston repeated with shining eyes, and for some reason Nate felt like the weight on his shoulders had grown a bit lighter. “Glad to meet you. Don't worry, I'll keep everyone out of your house while you're away.”

“I appreciate it. See ya around, Garvey.” He nodded to Kellogg, and they managed to reach the front of his house before the old woman stopped him.

“Hold on, kid,” she mumbled, pale blue eyes narrowing. “I see… I see… Your destiny. There’s more to it. And I know your pain.”

Nate huffed out a breath. “Sure grandma. ‘Scuse me.” He pushed passed her, but what she said next made him stop.

“Your son. He’s alive. I can… I can feel his energy.”

Nate turned around. “What? Well, where is he then?”

“I wish I knew, kid. I really do. But it’s not like I can actually see your son. I can just… feel his life force. His energy. He’s out there.”

“You gotta give me more than that.”

“Look kid, I’m tired-“

“Please.” He stepped closer and took her delicate hand in both of his. “Please, I need to find him.”

The old woman sighed, then let her eyes slip closed. “… Wherever he is, he’s safe… Safer than any of us. So you can take your time. Learn the lay of this wasteland. Take one step at a time… he’ll be waiting.”

He stared down at his hands, still clasping hers between them. “How do you know?”

“The Sight shows me all kinds of things, kid. I can see a bit of what was, and what will… will be…”

His brows furrowed as the old woman swayed, and he steadied her with a hand to her shoulder. “Woah there. You okay?”

“Fine, fine. Just… the Sight takes a lot out of me.”

“Well, c’mon, let’s sit you down.” He led her the short distance to the house across the street and sat her on one of the couches.

“Thanks, kid,” she sighed, bones cracking as she reclined. “You can call me Mama Murphy.”

“Nate,” he told her simply.

“Nate,” she repeated with a ghost of a smile. “You got a journey ahead of you, kid. Be careful.”

He nodded. “Yeah. Okay.” After a moment's pause he took her hand again and placed a thankful kiss on her center knuckle. “I’ll see you around, mama.”

“Take care of yourself, dear.”

Nate smiled. “That’s what I do best.” He spared Kellogg a glance, the man having silently followed them, and led the way back to his house.

“We should both get some sleep,” Nate suggested. “You can crash on my couch.”

“Thanks,” Kellogg said simply, rounding the furniture.

“Hey, uh,” Nate blurted. “I Just wanna say thanks again. Not just for taking care of the Deathclaw, but for helping me without getting paid first. I appreciate it.”

Kellogg only stared at him for a moment, nodding subtly, then offered a smile that was too tight as he shrugged off his brown jacket. “No problem.”

Nate offered a smile of his own, warmer and more relaxed than Kellogg’s, but he assumed the man couldn’t help it. He didn’t seem like he smiled all that much to begin with. He turned around to head to his room, but he paused when Kellogg spoke again.

 

* * *

 

It left him before he even really considered it. He didn’t need to ask, that’s for damn sure, but in some deep part of him he wanted Nathan to stay there just a little longer. A few more seconds of those big green eyes on him, another chance to see him smile. 

“What was the old woman talkin’ about?”

Nathan turned back on his heels, stuffing his hands in the pockets of his jeans. “I was hoping you were the kind of merc who doesn’t ask questions,” he admitted. “Guess you’d find out anyway though. The Vault I came out of was a cryo facility. During the time I was frozen, someone stole my son from my wife’s arms after…” He jerked his head, throwing the memory off, “after killing her. So I’m out here looking for him.”

“… Sorry about your wife,” Kellogg offered, because he knew exactly what Nathan was going through. He knew how it felt to lose your wife and have your child taken from you. Nathan’s was still alive, sure, but he wasn’t the infant that he was looking for, hoping for.

Nathan stared at him for a moment. “… You really mean that?”

He nodded.

The vaultie looked away, glancing anywhere but at Kellogg. “Is it… would it make me a horrible person if I said it’s better that she’s…” his voice caught. “Not here? It’s just, I don’t think she’d be able to handle it. Not Nora.”

Kellogg shifted his weight, feeling a bit uncomfortable that Nathan was confiding in him, especially on the day that they just met. Maybe he wasn’t the type that could keep things in. “No. It doesn’t. This world, the lives people live… death is its only escape.”

“Wow... That’s a real bummer, huh?”

Kellogg huffed out a laugh and Nathan smiled, his eyes shining and body swaying in the slightest way. Kellogg felt something he hadn’t in years and quickly shoved it down before he could tell exactly what it was.

Nathan’s smile faltered, and he bit his bottom lip for a moment before letting it slip from between his teeth. “Night, Kellogg.”

He nodded, breath hitching from the look in Nathan’s eyes and the lowness of his voice. “Yeah.”

 

* * *

 

Nate shed his jacket to flop down on his bed, scrubbing tiredly at his face with his hands.

He had felt something just then, like there was a tether between him and Kellogg that was heavy, thrumming with electricity. And with it the suspicion that him and the merc weren’t so different. He saw understanding in his eyes, just a glimpse, but it was so gentle and it appeared so unexpectedly it almost made Nate dizzy.

Then, just before saying goodnight, something else. Something warm and glinting that had his stomach fluttering.

_Brown eyes that were so calm yet so intense, a solid chest and sturdy waist under the white shirt that was bunching up just enough to show the subtle v-line peaking out from the waist of his pants…_

Nate felt disgusted in himself, laying in his and Nora’s bed and getting hard for a man not a day after he woke up to fully comprehend what happened to her. He was already scum when they were married, but he wasn’t even decent enough to grieve respectfully?

He rolled onto his side and willed himself to calm down and fall asleep. He hoped to dream of Nora’s gentle hands, holding an ice pack to his head while they watched television, or her delicate fingers entwined with his as they walked through the park. But instead he dreamt of a strong hold on his hips, calloused fingers denting into his flesh and rough stubble against his neck as teeth nipped his skin.

 

* * *

 

Nate flailed awake when he hit the ground, bolting up with wide eyes.

“Mornin’ sunshine,” Kellogg greeted dryly.

Nate stared up at the man towering over him. “What the fuck? Did you push me to the floor?”

“Dropped you. Don’t think pushing you would’ve worked since everything else didn’t. Sleeping that deeply is gonna get you fuckin’ killed out here.”

 _He picked me up?_ “Well what else did you try?” He stood up, bracing himself on the mattress.

“Shook you, gave you a couple kicks and a healthy slap to the face. Got nothin’. Guess sleepin’ for two hundred years wasn’t enough for you.”

His brows furrowed. “Wait, two hundred? That’s how long it’s been? Shit, that’s… huh.” He took a quick look around for his jacket, finding it on top of the dresser. “How long have you been awake?”

“An hour or so. Not long.”

“So you’re ready to head out?”

“All set.”

Nate shrugged his jacket on and tugged the right sleeve up to reattach his Pip Boy, catching a glimpse of the time - 9am. “How long will it take to get to Diamond City?”

“A while.”

“Love the precision, the detail, it’s really—“ His voice broke off when Kellogg grabbed his hood and hauled him out of the bedroom. “Why are you so fuckin’ strong?”

“Gotta be,” Kellogg grabbed Nate's Jericho from the nightstand and handed it to him. “You don’t have a holster?”

“Holster’s are for cops and old fashioned people.” He tucked it in the back of his pants.

“Or people who don’t wanna shoot themselves on accident.”

“Them too.” He smirked and flashed Kellogg a wink before taking the lead out of the house.

“Nate,” Preston called from the house across the street. “Got somethin’ for you.”

“What’s up, Pres,” he greeted, not really planning on nicknaming the man so early but not quite able to help himself. And judging by the smile it got him, Preston didn’t mind.

“I thought you should be more prepared before heading out. I've got some polymer weave here - we line your clothes with it, you'll be a hell of a lot safer."

He offered a grateful smile. “That’d be great. Thanks.”

“Sure. Let me grab my pack real quick and we’ll get to work.”


	5. Chapter 5

“How old are you?” Nate asked suddenly after a mile of silence.

Kellogg took a moment to answer, like he had to think about it. “36.”

“Yeah? You look older.”

“Well not everyone can look 200 years younger than they really are.”

“I do look pretty good.”

“Didn’t say that.”

“Ouch.” He dug a cigarette out and stuck it between his lips. “Still don’t want one?”

“Prefer cigars.”

 _A fact about himself. We're making progress._ “Ugh.” He sparked his lighter. “Cigars upset my stomach.”

“You’re not supposed to inhale it.”

That gave Nate pause. “Well, what the fuck? What’s the point?”

“The taste of the smoke and how long the cigar lasts.”

“How long do they usually last?”

“A good one lasts about 3 hours.”

“Christ, you gotta be pretty patient to commit to that, huh?”

“Patience is something I got plenty of.”

“Man, patient people bum me out.”

“Yeah? Why.”

He held back a smile at the man’s curiosity. “Well it means they have nothing to be excited for. Right?”

“Or they just don’t appreciate the present.”

“Depends on what’s happening, doesn't it? Like if you’re laying bed and can’t sleep, but something amazing is gonna go down in the morning. Won’t you wanna fast forward?”

“… I guess.”

“So, patient people must not have that.”

“Are you patient?”

“No.”

“And do you have anything to be excited for now?”

He looked away in thought, brows furrowed. “… Finding my son.” He looked back at Kellogg in time to see his jaw clench, something hidden in his expression.

The merc turned away. “Yeah. Guess you do.”

 

* * *

 

“I don’t see how you could forget to tell me about super mutants,” Nate exclaimed, leaving the dead mutants behind with a few grateful security guards. “They seemed like something that sticks with you.”

“I told you that I couldn’t list everything you gotta watch out for,” Kellogg responded.

“ _Super mutants_ , Kellogg. They sound a bit more important to mention than giant mosquitoes.”

“Are you gonna keep bitching about it or are you gonna shut up?”

“Well now that you say that, I’m gonna talk about it as much as I fuckin’ want to, you crabby bastard.” He thought for a fleeting moment that Kellogg was going to smile, but a woman’s harsh voice interrupted.

“I know you’re listening, Danny!” she growled, then took in a slow breath and made her voice pleasant. “Open the gate.” No response, and she turned on her heels, expression perking up when she saw Nate. “You,” she whispered. “You want into Diamond City, right?”

“Uh, yeah,” he answered, and she shushed him.

“Play along.” She leaned closer to the intercom. “Wh-what’s that? You’re a caravan up from Quincy? You have enough supplies to keep the general store stocked for a whole month? Huh! Y’hear that, Danny? You gonna open up and let us in, or are you gonna be the one talkin’ to crazy Mirna about losing all the supply.”

“ _Geez, all right!_ ” a man responded through the speaker. “ _No need to make it personal, Piper. I’ll open the gate._ ”

The woman sighed in relief, then turned back to Nate. “Better head on in before ol’ Danny catches on to the bluff.”

Nate gave her a smile. “After you, sweetheart.”

A flush rose to Piper’s cheeks, and she cleared her throat before turning on her heels and sauntering under the gate. A man in a tan suit stopped her and berated her, but Kellogg silently pushed Nate along when he paused to listen.

 

“This is fuckin’ weird,” Nate mumbled, scanning his eyes over the city’s interior. “Never thought my favorite stadium would be turned into a high-end shanty town.”

An old woman passing them stopped, nose turned up. “Ah, more of Diamond City’s poor and stupid begging for table scraps?”

“I don’t beg, you stuck up old bitch,” Nathan ground out, hating the way she looked at him. She blinked rapidly in surprise, and he shoved passed her.

“Damn,” Kellogg said lowly. “ _That_ was unexpected.”

“Hate people like her. Always looking down on people like me.”

They reached the small chapel and the pastor sweeping the ramp to the door stopped to offer a smile. “Haven’t seen you around here before,” he greeted. “Welcome to Diamond City. Hope it treats you well.”

Nate relaxed a bit and smiled back. “Thanks, pastor. I appreciate it.”

“You’re welcome. So what brings you to the Great Green Jewel?”

“I’m… looking for someone.”

“Oh? Mind if I ask who?”

He paused, hesitant to share information with someone he met seconds ago. “… My son. Less than a year old. Or… he was, last time I saw him. He was kidnapped.”

The man’s face twisted with sadness and sympathy. “I’m… I’m so sorry to hear that. Can’t imagine what you’re going through.” He paused, glanced away for a moment. “We do have a… man, who has a knack for finding people who go missing. Detective Nick Valentine.”

Nate’s stomach twisted. “Valentine?”

“That’s right. His agency is down the back alley, can’t miss it.”

Nate nodded, swallowing hard. “Thanks. See ya.” He took off with Kellogg right behind him. _Can’t be. Not after 200 years. Unless he’s a ghoul? Or there were other cryo Vaults? Shit._

He hightailed it to the office and stepped inside, finding a woman organizing files. “Uh,” Nate mumbled. “Valentine?”

She whipped around, widened eyes telling him she hadn’t heard them come in. “Uh, no, I’m his secretary. The detective’s not here, he’s… well, he’s gone missing. So I’m afraid you’re too late.”

“Missing?” he repeated.

“He disappeared working a case. Skinny Malone’s gang had kidnapped a young woman, and he tracked them down to their hideout in Park Street Station. I told Nick he was walking into a trap, but he just smiled and walked out the door like he always does.”

“Is Nick a ghoul?” he asked suddenly.

She blinked in surprise. “No, he’s not. He’s a prototype synth.”

“So there’s no way he could be from before the War.”

“Actually, his personality and memories were downloaded from a pre-War detective, though he doesn’t talk about it much.”

“I’ll find him.”

“R-really? Well, thank you. He’s…” she trailed off when Nate turned away and left.

“You gonna tell me what’s up your ass?” Kellogg asked, following him down the alley.

“I knew him,” Nathan informed. “Nick Valentine, he was…” He took in a deep breath to loosen the tightening in his chest. “He was my wife’s lover. She didn’t know I knew about them. They were involved for a year, then the bombs fell.”

“You knew your wife had a lover for a year and didn’t confront her.”

“I couldn’t really blame her. I wasn’t the most… physically affectionate husband. Plus, I was… I had the same arrangement going on.”

“ _You_ were having an affair.”

“Not exactly - I didn't have a certain someone to go to. Just... slept around. I guess we were getting from other people what we couldn’t get from each other. I wasn’t putting anything into our sex life and she… wasn’t a man, so.”

Kellogg’s steps faltered, but he recovered quickly. Nate’s words hung between them for a long moment before the merc spoke up. “Why’d you marry her in the first place if you weren’t into her?”

“‘Cause she wanted to get married. Nora was my best friend - she took care of me, loved me unconditionally. I wanted to keep her around. Keep her close. Besides, we got married young and I was still coming to terms with how I felt back then. And I loved her, I really did. Just… in a different way, I guess.” He took out a cigarette. “Are you married?” He saw the man stiffen and his jaw clench. “I’ll take that as a ‘was’.”

“Doesn’t matter.”

Nathan stared intently at him for a moment, then looked ahead. “Guess not.”


	6. Chapter 6

“Who thought of putting a fuckin’ Vault in a subway station,” Nate mumbled, using his Pip Boy to open the door. They had gone through waves of mobsters on their way and he was starting to get used to killing several at once. They fought their way through a few more rooms before they reached the atrium, and a man’s voice echoed from the catwalk in front of the Overseer’s office.

“How you doing in there, Valentine? Getting hungry? Want a snack?”

“Keep talkin’, meat-head,” a familiar voice taunted. “It’ll give Skinny Malone more time to think about how he’s gonna bump you off.”

“Don’t give me that crap, Valentine,” the other man countered. “You know nothin’, you got nothin’.”

Nate and Kellogg snuck across the hall and up the stairs.

“Really? I saw him writin’ your name down in that black book of his. ‘Lousy cheating card shark’ I think were his exact words. Then he struck the name across three times.”

“Wait… three times? In the Black book?”

Nate stood up from the crouch he was in. “One,” he said, shooting the mobster’s arm. “Two.” Another piece of lead plunged into his neck. “Three.” A third bullet to his head, and he slumped to the floor. Nate jumped over his body and hacked into the terminal to open the door, then stepped into the dim room. Valentine stepped forward and lit a cigarette, illuminating his face. His glowing yellow eyes locked onto Nate's, and they grew brighter as they widened. “Nathan?”

“Hey Nicky,” he greeted with an attempt at a smile. “Long time no see.”

The synth huffed out a laugh. “I’ll say. How… how are you still…?”

“Do you remember the Vault I managed to get us into? It turned out to be a cryo facility. They froze us in place and I only woke up recently.”

“No kidding? So where’s Nora?”

Nate screwed his eyes shut against the question, his stomach twisting. “She… she was murdered while I was still trapped. And Shaun was stolen right from ‘er arms.”

The hand holding the cigarette to Nick's lips flopped limply to his side, his feelings unreadable. Whatever Nate could guess was going through his mind, he hadn’t expected the detective to pull him into a tight hug.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered, a skeletal hand gripping his neck.

Nate took in a shuddering breath, sensing that Nick was apologizing for more than his loss. “Yeah. Me too.” He gently pulled back. “I need to find Shaun, Nick.”

“And I’ll do everything I can to help you, but this isn’t the place to discuss it. Let’s head back to the agency.” He clasped Nate on the shoulder as he passed him. “Who’s your friend?”

“Merc I hired,” Nate answered. “Kellogg.”

“Doesn’t talk much, does he.”

For some reason, Nate smiled. “Nah. Not really.”

 

* * *

 

Half way to Diamond City the sky tinted green and distorted thunder cracked above, getting Nate's geiger counter to burst with activity. “What the fuck?" Nate exclaimed. "Is the world ending for a second time?!” 

Nick sighed. “Rad storm. Nothin’ to worry about. At least, not for me. You on the other hand…”

Rain started to drizzle down and it quickly soaked into Nate's shirt, stinging against his skin. He hissed and draped his sweatshirt over his head. “Well fuck, man, what do I do?”

“Well, you two can hang out in that boxcar over there and just meet me—“

“Done. See you soon, Nicky.” He elbowed Kellogg as a cue to follow, and they jogged to the overturned boxcar as the rain picked up. Kellogg pried open the hatch and they crawled inside.

“Fuck it hurts,” Nate grumbled, tossing his sweatshirt and stripping off his shirt, the rain soaked clothing keeping a sting constant against his skin.

“It ain’t that bad, pretty boy,” Kellogg argued. “Quit being a pussy.”

“Are you just fuckin’ immune to pain or something?”

He lit a lantern that someone had left behind. “Just a high tolerance.”

Nate leaned limply against the wall. “… So how long do these last?”

“An hour or two.”

He groaned and slid down to his ass. His scalp was stinging from the rain that wet his hair, but there was nothing he could do about that. “Well I guess I’ll just take a fucking nap then. Don’t wanna just sit here.”

“Fine.” Kellogg grabbed one of the three abandoned sleeping bags tucked in the corner and tossed it to him.

 

* * *

 

Kellogg was itching for a cigar, but the travel box in his pocket was empty, and it wouldn’t be a good idea in the closed space they were in anyway. Nathan’s breathing had evened out about 25 minutes ago, back turned to the lantern’s light.

Kellogg rested his head against the wall and stared at him for a moment. Did rain from a rad storm really hurt? He couldn’t remember. All he felt now was a tingle. Maybe a buzz if the count was high enough.

His eyes darted to the vaultie’s pack, the flickering light catching on a lump in one of its pockets, the edges of whatever was in there poking at the fabric. Curiosity slowly rose in Kellogg and he reached over to tug the zipper open. He reached in and carefully pulled out the hidden photos, then shifted closer to the lantern.

He slowly shuffled through the first few with furrowed brows. A younger looking Nathan with someone hanging on him, both of them practically radiating arrogance through the film. A beat up Nathan, bloody and smiling. Duffel packs of pre-war cash, chems, and fancy guns with some shithead posing in the background. A random man in a hotel bed, his lower body draped over with dark sheets. Then Nathan again, this time with a round-faced man who looked like he was laughing. Nathan was smiling like he had just done the greatest thing in the world. Kellogg guessed it was his old boss and moved on.

The next photo was taken inside a car, the world outside dark and rain pouring down the windows. Nathan was in the front passenger side with his feet planted on the edge of the seat, his shirt off and skin rain-slicked. The driver, some man with buzzed golden hair, was tugging his own shirt off. Whoever took the photo had a large hand gripping the back of Nathan’s neck, getting his attention just as the photo was snapped.

A lighter clicked behind him and he jerked his head around to see Nathan lighting a cigarette, eyes on him. Kellogg looked away and rubbed a hand over the stubble that was his hair, scalp burning from the realization of being caught.

“Didn’t peg you for a snooper,” Nathan said around his cigarette, standing and walking the few feet between them to crouch down beside him. He smiled at the photo. “Fuck, I remember that…” He was silent for a moment, soothing his thumb nail over his bottom lip, then huffed out a chuckle. “This was… two years, into working for that crime lord I told you about. We fucked up a rival boss’s house, bein’ the stupid fuckers we were. He came home sooner than we thought so we ran out into the pouring rain and hopped in the car.”

“How old were you?” Kellogg asked, surprising himself with the question.

“24.”

“You started working for a crime lord at 22.”

“Younger recruits are easier to mold. Manipulate.” He slid the photo out from under Kellogg’s thumb and tucked it to the back, revealing the next one. A smiling man with a cigarette, young and bright eyed. Nate closed his eyes and turned away for a moment before looking back. “That’s uh, just a friend of mine.” He snatched the photo and tucked it into his pocket, and he cringed at the next photo.

“You got punched a lot, huh,” Kellogg said dryly, staring at a bruised and smiling Nathan.

The vaultie turned his face down with a laugh. “Yeah, sometimes I focused more on throwing punches than avoiding them.”

With Nathan’s eyes reflecting the lantern light and lips cocked in a smirk, Kellogg realized what it was about him that he couldn’t peg before: sex appeal. It practically oozed out of his pores, hung around him like an aura, reflected in his big eyes and lazy smile. A relaxed, seductive confidence.

Nathan’s smirk blew out into a grin, attracting Kellogg’s gaze. “Rain’s stopped,” Nathan murmured. Kellogg’s eyes flicked back up, and Nathan leaned a bit closer before standing up. “C’mon.”

Kellogg blinked. _What the fuck was that?_   “Yeah.”

Nathan took a new shirt out of his pack, and as he pulled it over his head, Kellogg took the small chance to take in his body. Lean but muscular, a trail of hair trailing down passed the waist of his jeans. When the shirt draped over his body, Kellogg furrowed his brows at the drooping sleeves. 

"The fuck kind of shirt is that?"

"What?" Nathan shrugged, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

"You look like a shithead."

"Don't judge my fashion sense, all right, you take your one outfit and you fuck right off."

Kellogg allowed himself his own smile as he shot Nathan a glare, then stood up.


	7. Chapter 7

Kellogg stood awkwardly beside Nathan’s chair as the vaultie went over the scene with Valentine. When he spoke about his wife, Kellogg felt his fingers twitch, wanting to reach out and grip the back of his neck, squeeze his shoulder, something. Seeing those green eyes darken and shine with unshed tears made his chest tighten. He didn’t understand why, didn’t know what made him want to comfort him. Quite frankly, it was a pain in the ass.

“Then there’s the Institute,” Valentine mentioned after listing possible kidnappers, and Kellogg straightened up.

“The Institute?” Nathan repeated with furrowed brows. “What’s that?”

“You haven’t heard of it yet? The Institute is some hidden facility where they make synths.”

Kellogg kept his eyes on Nathan as Valentine went on to explain what the Institute was and their reputation, watching as his face twisted more and more until he finally jerked his head up towards him.

“Why didn’t you tell me about the Institute?” he asked. “Those guys taking Shaun is a pretty big fucking possibility.”

He shifted his weight. “Didn’t wanna scare you, seein’ as you were fresh out of a Vault. Was gonna ease you into things.”

“Bullshit.”

“Um, boys?” Ellie piped up. “Sorry to interrupt, but the description of the woman you gave - tall, red hair, dark eyes, she’s been seen around town. There’s been complaints since she’s so… unnerving. She actually bought a house in the abandoned West Stands a few months back.”

Kellogg hid his surprise. _Didn’t know Claudette had a house in town._

“And recently she’s been seen with a boy around 10 years, but it’s said that she lives alone.”

“Shaun’s an infant,” Valentine reminded.

“But I don’t know how long I was frozen again for,” Nathan countered. “For all I know it really could’ve been 10 years.”

_Try 60._

“Hm. It’s worth a shot. Let’s say you and me head down there and see what that dame’s hiding.”

“Security doesn’t really go to that part of town,” Ellie said, “but you two should still be careful.”

Valentine shot her a wink. “I always am.”  
 

 

“Locked tight,” Valentine sighed, straightening up from trying to pick the lock, and Nathan stepped up with a smile.

“Let the master have a crack at it.” He took out a bobby pin from his pocket and got the lock open within seconds.

“Huh,” Valentine mumbled. “Not gonna ask why you know how to do that. Go on in.”

Kellogg followed them inside and assessed the small house - sparsely decorated and dimly lit - suiting for a woman like Claudette, but he had expected more weapons.

“There’s a button under the desk,” Nathan announced, and once he pressed it the wall opened to reveal a secret room stocked with weapons, ammo and supplies.

_There we go._

Nathan put a hand on Kellogg's shoulder as he passed him, thumb brushing over bare skin, and it nearly made Kellogg jump in surprise. It felt like the contact had sent a jolt through him, tunneled under his skin and shot through his nerve endings, cracked the cement feeling that had been weighing him down for decades.

“Fusion cells, dirty wastelander beer… cigars?” Nathan listed off, hovering over a small table.

“Not going to give us much on its own,” Nick sighed.

“What?” Nathan said with a smile. “The clockwork dick is stumped?”

“It’s synth detective, jackass,” Valentine responded, though there was amusement in his expression. “If you’re gonna be like that, at least get the make and model right.”

Kellogg didn’t understand how he could banter with a man, or the remains of a man, who had slept with his wife. If he found out someone was sleeping with Sarah he’d beat the man damn near death.

His eyes fluttered closed. He hadn’t thought of her in years. He quickly pushed the memory of her away and shook his head clear.

“Joking aside, I think I know someone who can give us a hand. A specialist, of a kind. Always goes his own way, but I can get ‘im here. I’ll send out the signal and he’ll be here soon. Probably.” He lifted his trigger finger and thumb to his lips and whistled at a frequency almost too high to hear. “All right, let’s wait outside. Bring that cigar, we’re gonna need it.”

Nathan picked the stogie up, and they headed outside to the catwalk.

 

* * *

 

Nate kept a careful eye on Nick, seeing how the synth fidgeted more and more as the minutes ticked by. Then finally he spoke up. “Nathan, I gotta ask…”

He cocked a brow. “Yes?”

“Were you involved with Navarra?”

He wasn’t surprised. He thought Nick had an inkling of his activities. “Why, you itchin’ to arrest me?”

He chuckled. “Even if I was, it’s a little late for that. I’m just… curious.”

He nodded, glanced at this feet. “… Yeah. I was.”

“Why?” It sounded like he’d been wanting to ask that for years.

“‘Cause he paid well. Insanely well. At first it was just for Nora, y’know? Keep her happy, get her everything she wanted. The house in Sanctuary, shiny cars, support for college, trips to the salon and fancy spas.”

“But after that?”

He swallowed. “… Wasn’t just for her anymore. Guess I got selfish. Navarra gave me shit I never had.”

“Like?”

Their conversation was interrupted by a strong bark, and running down the catwalk came a large Shepard dog. “There you are,” Nick greeted, getting down on one knee to pet the mutt. “Thanks for the speedy response, Dogmeat.”

“A dog,” Kellogg drawled. “Your ‘specialist’ is a dog.”

Nate smiled and scratched the dog behind his ear. “Dogmeat, huh?”

“Don’t look at me like that. I didn’t name ‘im. Anyway, Commonwealth mutt like him can track a man’s scent for miles.” He glanced to the sky. “It’s getting late, and traveling at night ain’t safe for inexperienced players, even with a merc at your side. Why don’t you crash at the Dugout tonight then start fresh in the morning? Dogmeat’ll stay with you.”

“Good idea.”

Nick shifted his weight. “Uh, one more thing before you go. I know this is… personal business. If you want to do this on your own, I understand.”

Nate thought about it before deciding, “I’ll see you later, Nick.”

“Right. You be careful.”

He nodded, then gestured towards himself. “Bring it in, old timer.”

The synth chuckled and leaned into the hug. “Hey, you ain’t so young yourself anymore.”

Nate knew Valentine was a good man. He knew that he had genuinely cared for Nora. He could never hold what he did against him, not when he wasn’t actually out to hurt Nate. “Thanks, Nick.”

The detective pulled away and nodded once. “Don’t mention it.”


	8. Chapter 8

The Dugout Inn was loud and welcoming, conversations and laughter blending together as background noise. Nate sat at the bar and Kellogg took a seat next to him while Dogmeat curled up at their feet. They ordered drinks, Kellogg giving the bar owner extra caps for one of the cigars.

“So that Navarra guy,” Kellogg piped up after a while of comfortable silence. “He the crime lord he said you worked for?”

“Mhm,” Nate hummed, taking a drag from his cigarette. “I think Nick was on to me before the War. Always was a sharp guy.”

“Still don’t get how you can act so chummy with the man who was sleeping with your wife.”

“Well I can’t really find any other reason to be mad at him. I know he cared about Nora too, wanted to make her happy. And he did that. He was kinda like the missing piece she needed in life.”

Kellogg huffed a laugh, smoke carried on the heavy breath. “You say that like sex is a key part of life.”

“Well, isn’t it?” He sidelong glanced at Kellogg, a brow raised.

“Not these days.”

Nate’s brow creased, thinking for a moment. “Oooh, okay,” he mumbled. “Well christ, man, that’s why you’re so crabby all the time, you haven’t gotten laid in forever.”

“I ain’t crabby.”

“You’re like, the _mayor_ of crabby town.”

Kellogg snorted, lips twitching in what could’ve been a smile before he clamped his lips around his cigar. “Well, you do the things I’ve done and you tend not to have a very happy-go-lucky life.”

“You’re actin’ like I haven’t done and seen the same things. Well, similar things.”

“Maybe you have. But you ever stop to think about them? Really think about them.” Nate looked away and took another drag. “Thought so. You block it all out, right? Well I learned how to do that a little too fuckin’ late.”

Nate stared at him intently, assessing him. “… Why’d you do the things you’ve done?”

“Why did you?” Kellogg shot back. “You said it was for your wife at first, then it wasn’t. So what else was there?”

He knew Kellogg was just avoiding answering the question himself, but maybe that was for the best. Maybe Nate wasn’t ready to hear his reasons. “Navarra exploited my weaknesses. Knew about my fucked up childhood, gave me what I should’ve gotten from my parents. Kept telling me how much he trusted me, how proud he was. I guess I just got hooked on it.”

“Was it both of your folks, or…?”

That sounded like genuine curiosity, and Nate tried to hide his surprise. “My dad, mostly. Roughed me up, told me how much of a disappointment I was. My ma wasn’t as bad, it’s just that… she never did anything to stop him. Mothers are supposed to protect you, y’know?”

Kellogg nodded subtly, and his voice came out low. “Yeah. I know.”

The sound made arousal twist in his Nate’s gut, had a melting heat wash over his skin. He took another drag of his cigarette, keeping eye contact. Kellogg’s jaw clenched, then he tore his eyes away and crushed his burned-down cigar in the ashtray before standing up without a word and heading for his rented room.

“Night Kellogg,” Nate called, not sparing the merc a glance as he held back a smile.

“Yeah.”

 

* * *

 

Kellogg felt like he couldn’t breathe, like he’d swallowed the lit end of his cigar and his insides were filling with smoke and heat, burning sparks sticking to his ribcage. 

Nathan flashed into his mind, those green eyes coming to life with desire, staring at him like he could see right through every defense that Kellogg had built up. Full lips wrapped around his cigarette, thick hair in tufts that were just the right length to grip in a tight fist.

He was getting angry now, not used to feeling this much at once. He flopped down on the bed and stared at the ceiling for a moment, trying to shove everything back, lock it up before it was too late, but he could feel his cock straining against his pants. Fuck, it had been so long since he’s even been able to get hard.

All of this was damn near frustrating, having him panting and his chest rising. He gritted his teeth and undid his belt to take his cock out, hissing as he gave himself a teasing stroke.

He tried to keep Nathan out of his mind, he really did. He even let himself think of Sarah, the softness of her body under his hands, but those green eyes kept popping back up, that lazy smile and voice smooth as whiskey. A strong hand around his cock while that voice murmured his name, his real name, quiet and gentle.

 

* * *

 

_Nate, please,” Seb rasped. “Please, I know it was stupid, okay? I know. Just let me go and I won’t fuck over Navarra ever again. I’ll be gone by morning. Just tell ‘em you couldn’t find me.”_

_Nate readjusted his grip on his gun as he paced. “He knows when people lie, Seb. And besides, if I don’t do it, Sal will hunt you down. You want that?”_

_“I don’t wanna die.”_

_Nate’s face twisted and tears stung his eyes. “Don’t fuckin’ do that. Don’t…”_

_“Nate—“_

_He lifted his arm, quickly aimed then pulled the trigger before he could change his mind._

 

Nate bolted upright, hand lashing to wipe away the tears hot on his cheeks. The sudden movement startled a sleeping Dogmeat off of the bed.

“Hey, hey, sorry, boy,” Nate hushed, and the mutt tilted his head with a curious whine.

Nate’s head fell back down to the pillow and he sighed, scrubbing at his face with his hands and willing the nauseousness in his stomach to settle. When it finally did he bounced off the bed and yanked his clothes on, then stepped out into the main room to see Kellogg waiting at the bar with a glass of water.

"Mornin’ sunshine,” he said dryly, not sparing him more than a glance as he stood. “Ready?”

“Uh huh,” Nate mumbled, deciding not to voice how nervous he was. What if Shaun really was 10? It would be considerably harder for both of them if he found Shaun and simply told him, _hey I’m your dad, you’re coming with me._

 

Nate let Dogmeat sniff the cigar once they reached the city gate. “Find ‘er, boy. Take me to that fucking bitch.”


	9. Chapter 9

“Wait, wait, wait,” Kellogg said, grabbing Nate’s hood before he stepped onto the bridge and whistling for Dogmeat to stop.

“What?” Nate huffed, breath labored from running.

“Ferals up ahead.”

Nate followed his gaze to a sizable group of shambling feral ghouls. “How’d you spot them from here?”

“Got good eyesight.” He lifted his hand and twitched his trigger and middle finger. “Give me a cigarette.”

“Oh sure, perfect time,” Nate mumbled, digging into his pocket. “Not like we’re—“

“ _Cigarette_ , smart ass.”

Nate placed one between his lips and lit it before handing to Kellogg. The merc took a long drag to fire up the ember, then flicked the cigarette onto the bridge.

A quiet _fwump_ sounded as gasoline ignited, and Kellogg grabbed Nate’s hood to drag him further back. Nate gently took Dogmeat’s scruff in his grip to do the same to him, and moments later three of the cars caught fire and exploded, causing a chain reaction to nearly every car on the bridge. Every single feral was killed, some bursting in a mess of flesh and limbs.

“Woah,” Nate sighed. “That was…” _Really fuckin' hot._

As soon as the gasoline was eaten away Dogmeat took off, and they continued their chase.

 

* * *

 

Kellogg followed Nathan up the steps to where Dogmeat had ultimately led them - an old military fort with the entrance blocked off.

“Is this the place?” the vaultie asked. “Huh? She in there, boy?” An affirmative bark in response, and he nodded. “All right. Why don’t you go and find somewhere to rest, Dogmeat. We got it from here.”

Dogmeat whined and tilted his head, but then obeyed with a muted bark. 

“Right,” Nathan sighed. “Let’s go kill this bitch.”

Kellogg nodded, a quick sideways jerk of his head. “After you.”

“Wouldn’t have it any other way.”

As Kellogg followed him down into the parking garage and through its entrance, he wondered what Father had done to erase the memory of him from Claudette. He knew the woman was more of a cyborg than he was, had more mechanical parts than human, so maybe there was a link to her headgear.

“ _Well if it isn’t dear old daddy_ ,” her voice said over the intercom system. “ _Last time I saw you it was after I sent a bullet into your wife’s head. She was a squirter, y'know. Got blood all over my face._ "

Claudette was always a cruel woman.

“Gonna fucking make her suffer,” Nathan mumbled to himself. “Just fucking watch me.”

“Remember you might need information from her,” Kellogg reminded, but he doubted that Nathan could hear him through the red haze of anger. They went down a long set of stairs and started down a corridor lined with pipes.

Claudette spoke again. “ _I’ll be honest, I didn’t think you’d make it this far. But by the look of that mercenary with you, he’s the reason you’ve stayed alive this long._ ”

Nathan ignored her.

She spoke again when they reached the lower level. “ _Look, I understand. You’re pissed off. But whatever you think is gonna happen here?”_ She huffed out a laugh. _“It’s not._ ”

“Wanna bet?” Nathan mumbled. Claudette gave occasional taunts the rest of the time it took to get to the room just before the Command Center.  
   
“ _Okay_ ,” she finally sighed. “ _You made it. I’m just up ahead_.”

The door opened, and they turned the corner. The lights turned on and Claudette stepped into view, her red hair in waves over her shoulders and dark eyes smiling.

“So, you’ve—“

Nathan shot out both her kneecaps and she collapsed to the ground, and Kellogg brushed off his surprise to help take down the gen two synths meant as protection, but it still lingered in the back of his mind.

_She ain’t supposed to go down that easy. Not with the enhancements she has. Maybe… sabotage during one of her tuneups?_

Claudette raised her pistol as soon as she could push passed the pain, but Nathan shot it out of her hand.

“No!” she growled. “This isn’t—!”

Nathan shot her foot, then her calf. “Taking my son wasn’t enough?” he asked her, sending a bullet into her crotch. “You had to kill my wife, too? You had to take the single solitary fucking reason for me to wanna keep living. The one thing I was living for.” He crouched down and stuffed the barrel of his pistol into her mouth to shoot out her cheek. “She was my best friend, might as well’ve been my entire fucking life, and you took her from me. You took Shaun from both of us.” He gripped her jaw. “Where is he.” She clocked him in the jaw and he shot her wrist until her hand was severed. He held her mouth shut when she wouldn’t stop screaming. “Tell me where he is!”

Kellogg never got sick over this type of display, never, but seeing Nathan like this had unease churning in his gut.

“The Institute,” she finally offered, and Kellogg knew that if it weren’t for her enhancements she wouldn’t even be coherent right now. “And you’ll never get him back. Never! Just like your wife.”

Nathan held her arm down with his boot and fired his pistol until the limb was severed, then did the same to her opposite arm. He moved on to her legs, then fired into her neck so she was choking on her own blood.

He fired even after she was dead, and now Kellogg decided to intervene.

“All right, that’s enough,” he said. “You’re wasting bullets.” No response. “Hey, you hear me? Knock it off—“ he reached for him, and Nathan lashed out, giving his chest a hard shove.

"This woman killed my wife and stole my son, and you want me to fuckin’ calm down?" he questioned, anger flaring in his eyes. "No, fuck that, I’ll fire until she looks like a super mutant’s gore bag.”

“There’s no fucking _point_ ,” Kellogg argued.

“Yeah whatever, fuck off.” He turned back around and aimed at one of the few spots on Claudette’s body that he hadn’t sent a bullet into, but Kellogg wrenched the pistol from his hands.

Nathan jerked around again and swung but Kellogg caught his fist, only to have Nathan kick him hard in the gut, sending them both staggering back. The vaultie went at him again and the insistence was getting on Kellogg’s nerves. Before Nathan could take another swing at him Kellogg hooked him in the jaw, not hard enough to crack it but enough to stun him.

Nathan just shook it off like a huffing bull, and in the back of Kellogg’s mind he remembered what the vaultie had said about his fighting tactics. _He gets too into it._

Nathan went at him again, only to be turned around so Kellogg could crush his back to his chest. “Stop it,” Kellogg ordered, voice stern and even as Nathan squirmed.

“Get the fuck off me!”

There was a desperation to his tone that had Kellogg letting go quickly, brows creasing. Nathan whipped around and grabbed the front of his shirt in both hands.

“No one fuckin’ touches me unless I want ‘em to,” he ground out, and Kellogg’s feet shuffled from the surprising strength Nathan put in to shaking him.

Kellogg could only stare at him, seeing an anger in his eyes that he tried to douse with the calmness of his own. He’s done this with Mae plenty of times. But Mae’s anger simply dissipated, it never warped into… something else. Something heated and glinting and hungry.

Nathan tugged him closer by the collar of his undershirt, and Kellogg caught his jaw less than an inch before their lips met. Their eyes stayed locked, and Kellogg could feel his resolve being torn away, freeing some primal side that had him walking Nathan backwards towards the bed near the terminal.

When Nathan’s legs hit the edge of the mattress he sat down and lashed his hands to Kellogg’s belt, eyelids fluttering when Kellogg raked his hands through his hair, petting and tugging as he worked the clasp open. As soon as his task was done Kellogg flipped him over onto his hands and knees and tugged his jeans down to expose him to the humid air. He slid his own pants down to his thighs and kneeled behind Nathan, then spit in his hand to slick his cock.

A harsh breath escaped him as he pushed inside, and Nathan pounded a ragged rhythm against the wall, his teeth bared and eyes screwed shut. Kellogg hovered over him, bracing one hand on the mattress and the other on the back of Nathan’s neck, and he watched the vaultie’s mouth tighten into a curving frown before he huffed out a rasping breath. Kellogg bottomed out and slid his hand from the back of Nathan’s neck to the base of his throat, thumb and trigger finger against his jaw. He tried to focus on the strong, wild pulse under his palm, but the tight heat clenched around his cock so fucking tightly was driving him crazy, and in moments he was pistoning fast into Nathan, his grip moving to the back of his shirt as he straightened up.

Nathan clawed at the wall, huffing out clipped breaths and taking it like a goddamn champ. Wailing groans left him now and again and they had Kellogg’s thrusts faltering, snapping harder against his ass and when his pace turned erratic Nathan took himself in his hand.

“C’mon, c’mon,” he said under heaving breaths. “ _Kellogg_ …”

For the vaultie’s sake Kellogg held back until the man underneath him was coming against the bed, then pulled out and gave himself three tight strokes, spilling over the small of Nathan’s back.

They both slumped down to stare at the ceiling, chests rising and falling rhythmically. Then Kellogg chuckled, rubbing his hand over his forehead. _Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck._

“So,” Nathan sighed. “That was probably a mistake, right?”

“You have no idea.”

“Well, ain’t like I haven’t made those before.” He pulled his jeans back up to his hips and lit a cigarette before bouncing to the foot of the bed to Claudette’s terminal, and after the minute it took to hack, he sighed, smoke carried on the heavy breath. “Bitch wasn’t lying. Shaun really is in the Institute.” He bowed his head against the table. “Fucking dammit.”

“You ain’t giving up, are ya?” Kellogg asked as he buckled his belt, thankful for normal conversation after what just happened.

“Can’t. Gotta find ‘im for Nora.”

Kellogg’s brows twitched in confusion. “Not ‘cause he’s your kid?”

“Well, that too, but Nora’s the one who wanted one.”

“And you didn’t.”

“I wasn’t exactly father material, plus I didn’t really have a good example of what a dad should be like. But what Nora wanted, I gave her.” He sighed and stood up. “Let’s get back to Nick.” He took a long drag from his cigarette, then gestured loosely to the bed. “I’m guessing this doesn’t happen again.”

Kellogg walked passed him. “Read my mind.”

Nate wiped the small of his back with the bedsheets then followed after Kellogg, stopping by Claudette. “Would’ve gladly watched Sal take you apart. Piece by fucking piece.” He flicked his cigarette onto her broken body, and the still glowing ember reflected off of something in the bloody mess that was her head. “The fuck?”

“What,” Kellogg responded, sounding less than interested.

“There’s…” he crouched down and pulled the small bit of tech out. “Some kind of chip. Think it’s important?”

 _Must be what the old man used to keep a link to her head._ “Maybe. Should pocket it just in case.”

“Yeah.” He tucked it into his jeans. “C’mon, let’s get outta here. And give me my fucking gun back.”

 

* * *

 

Nate couldn’t get it out of his head the entire way back to Diamond City. Kellogg ramming into him from behind with a rein on his shirt, his heavy breath and those fucking _grunts_. Deep and masculine and desperate. It wasn’t exactly mind blowing, the angle didn’t work for him and it hurt a bit, but the animalistic way that Kellogg took him was…

“You’re back,” Nick said, turning in his chair. “And… not with Shaun.”

“She took him to the fucking Institute, Nick,” Nate informed. “My son’s somewhere that no one fucking knows how to get to.”

“Shit,” Nick sighed, leaning back. “I… I’m sorry, friend. Truly.”

He started pacing. “I can’t give up, Nick. I can’t.”

The synth smiled. “I know. We just need to find another way. I assume you killed ‘er?”

“Oh yeah. Blew her brains out and shot her to pieces.”

Nick cringed, but then his expression tightened into thought. “Her brains… You know, we might not need her at all.”

His brows furrowed. “What d’you mean?”

“There’s a place in Goodneighbor called the Memory Den. I know a Doctor there, Amari, she can hook someone up into a machine and replay their memories. If we get enough of Claudette's brain matter, we can-“

“Hold on,” Nate interrupted. “You want us to hike back there and collect her brain? I didn’t exactly… Oh, wait.” He dug into his pocket for the chip he had found. “This was attached to her head. I think it was connected to her brain - think it’ll be enough?”

“Well, let’s hope it is. C’mon, let’s get going.”


	10. Chapter 10

Kellogg liked Goodneighbor. It was a good place to lay low, and the folks didn’t bother him or stare like he’d snap their neck if they turned their back. He even set up an apartment for himself in one of the boarded up buildings. He understood Mae’s appeal to the place, a neighborhood with an ever-present dimness, glowing lights shining in peripheral view and rain puddles, a cloak of humidity and smokescreens rising from the grates. It sat heavy with him how she could never find comfort in this place again, couldn’t bring herself to enter its buildings, walk the paths she’d followed time and again with lover boy. Fuck, she had cried for hours in his arms, still smeared with the guy’s blood. Kellogg would never admit it, but he was glad she found Mason. She needed someone to fill that void. 

“Well well,” a familiar voice rasped, Finn stepping into their way as he lit a cigarette. “It's the detective. Tracking down another wayward husband to his mistress?”

“Why, someone stand you up?” Valentine smirked.

“You tryin’ that, what’s it called, evasive language on me? And who are your friends, huh? Dicks in training?”

“What’s it to ya,” Nathan asked, taking a step forward.

“Gotta know who’s who in Goodneighbor. Speaking of, ain’t never seen you before. I’d say you’re in need of some insurance. You hand over everything you got in them pockets, and you won’t suffer from any ‘accidents’.”

“Woah woah woah, time out,” Hancock called, walking over in his usual getup. “Nick Valentine makes a rare visit to town, and you’re hassling his friend here with that extortion shit? Good to see ya again, Nick.”

“Hancock,” Valentine nodded.

“You’re soft, Hancock,” Finn sighed. “You let outsiders walk all over us. One day, they’ll be a new mayor.”

“Come on, man, it’s me we’re talkin’ about. Lemme tell ya somethin’…”

Kellogg caught the glint of the ghoul’s knife and knew what was about to happen. And apparently so did Nathan, because he lunged forward and wrested it from Hancock’s grip before he could plunge it into Finn’s gut. He jerked around to face Finn and draped an arm over his shoulder to grip the back of his neck, leaning in to whisper in the drifter’s ear. Their feet shuffled as Nathan walked them backwards, and Finn hit the waist-high wall. A few moments passed, then Nathan pulled back and simply said, “Okay?”

“Yeah,” Finn nodded, a bit breathless. “Okay.”

Nathan smiled and soothed a hand roughly over the man’s stubbled cheek before plucking the cigarette from his lips to put it between his own. He stepped away and turned to Hancock. “Situation’s taken care of. Thanks for almost killing a man for me, though, that’s pretty hot.”

“Uh… sure thing,” Hancock mumbled, taking his combat knife back.

“I’ve dealt with these guys before, man. You don’t need to worry about the ‘doe-eyed vault dweller’.” He offered his hand. “Nate.”

Hancock took it in a firm grip. “Hancock.”

“So I’ve heard. I’ll see you around, Mayor.”

“What’d you say to ‘im?” Kellogg asked as they walked off for the Memory Den.

“Nothin’ much,” Nathan shrugged. “But he’s somewhat of an informant for me now. We ain’t gotta worry about ‘im.” He spared Kellogg a glance. “Part of my job was keeping Navarra’s dealers and hired killers in line. Pushed the dealers around and reminded the killers what would happen if they pissed the boss off.”

“And what were the other parts?” Valentine questioned.

Nathan hesitated. “… transporting cash and weapon duffels, resupplying the dealers, scouting out meeting spots.”

“Were you ever really a boxer?”

Nathan huffed out a breath through his nose. “Nah. Those times I came home beat up were ‘cause some of the dealers knew how to fight back. And the occasional run-in with a rival player… If you had a feeling I was involved in that shit, why’d you never rat me out?”

“Would’ve broken Nora’s heart, knowing her husband was lying to her about the biggest aspect of his life.”

“… I appreciate it, Nicky. All that you did for her.”

The synth gave him a once over, then smiled. “‘Course, friend.”

Kellogg still didn’t get how they were so chummy, but it was better than being at each other’s throats. Made this whole thing ride smoother.

 

After Valentine had a brief talk with Irma, the three of them went down to the basement where the doc was waiting.

“I assume this isn’t a social call,” Amari sighed.

“Doctor,” Nathan said dramatically. “We need you to reverse death itself.”

“What?!”

Nick let out an exasperated sigh. “I wouldn’t put it quite that way but it’s true. We need a dead woman’s memories.”

“Are you two mad?” she exclaimed. “Aside the fact that you’re asking me to defile a corpse, you do realize the loungers require intact, living brains to function.

“Please,” Nathan said quietly, his smart ass smile gone. “We really need your help.”

“This brain has inside knowledge on the Institute, Amari,” Valentine added. “The biggest scientific mystery in the Commonwealth. You need this as much as we do.”

The doctor sighed. “Fine. I’ll take a look. But no guarantees. Do you… have it with you?”

“Here’s what I could find,” Nathan offered, giving her the chip.

“What? This isn’t a brain, this is… wait. That’s the hippocampus! And this thing attached to it… a neural interface?”

“Those circuits look awfully familiar…” Valentine mumbled.

“I’m not surprised. From what I’ve seen, all Institute technology has a similar architecture.”

“Nick’s an older model synth,” Nathan mentioned. “Is he still compatible?”

“That’s exactly what I was thinking. If we’re lucky, it should hook right in. but even if this works, Mister Valentine would be taking on a tremendous amount of risk. We’re talking about wiring something to his brain.”

“Don’t worry about me, Amari. Let’s do it,” Nick insisted.

“Hey,” Nathan murmured, gently touching his arm. “I appreciate this, Nick.”

“You can thank me when we’ve found your son,” he said quietly. “All right. Let’s do this.”

“Just sit down in the chair, Mister Valentine,” Amari instructed.

“If I start cackling like some crazy broad, pull me out, okay?”

Amari stood behind Valentine and started to attach the implant. “I need you to keep talking to me, Mister Valentine. Any slight change in your cognitive functions could be dire. Are you feeling any different?”

“There’s a lot of flashes… static. I-I can’t make sense of any of it, doc.”

“That’s what I was afraid of,” Amari said. “The mnemonic impressions are encoded. It appears the Institute has one last failsafe. There’s a lock on the memories in the implant.”

“Is Nick gonna be okay?” Nathan asked quickly.

“Yes, the connections appear to be stable. But the memory encryption is too strong for a single mind. But… what if we used two? We load both you and Mister Valentine into the memory loungers. Run your cognitive functions in parallel. He’ll act as a host while your consciousness drives through whatever memories we can find.”

“Me and Nick are gonna share a mind?” Nathan said, amusement in his voice again. “I’m not gonna see him in any… compromising positions, am I?”

“If a smart mouth was all it took to solve problems we would have found your son by now,” Nick grumbled.

“Uh… no,” Amari answered. “You won’t have to worry about that. You should only see the memories in the implant.”

“All right,” Nate nodded. “Let’s do this.”

“Just sit down in the memory lounger and… keep your fingers crossed.”

“See you on the other side,” Nick said, going to one of the two memory loungers in the room. Nathan settled into the other one, and it sealed closed. Kellogg stood behind Amari and watched him get comfortable, and the vaultie shot him a wink before turning his focus to the screen inside the pod. His eyes unfocused, and on Amari’s terminal appeared a dark empty universe with ethereal strands of memory.

“Can you hear me?” Amari said into a speaker.

Nathan answered in a quiet monotone voice. “Yeah.”

“Good. The simulation appears to be working, although the memories seem quite fragmentary. I’ll try to step you through the intact memories, and hope we find one that gives us some clue to the Institute’s location…”

Kellogg watched with the doc as memories played out, of Claudette growing up in the Institute to cold unfeeling parents, of a couple operations and intel jobs, then finally the Vault.

“No, no, no,” Nathan said. “Don’t fucking put me through this again. Please.”

“I-I’m sorry,” Amari stuttered, “the terminal’s locked on. I can’t tamper with it or it’ll lose its progress. Or much worse, harm Nick.”

“Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck…” His tone squeaked higher and higher.

Nora’s pod swung open, and Claudette shot the struggling woman without even trying to talk her out of resisting. Kellogg turned around quickly on his heels as soon as the muzzle flash went off, scrubbing his hand over his mouth. Through the terminal speaker he heard Nathan’s scream, his spasming, panicked breaths, his fists pounding on the window of his pod.

“My condolences,” Claudette’s voice mocked, and Kellogg kept his back to the screen, knowing she was staring right at Nathan, right into those green eyes that were probably wide with pain and dread.

“I’m… I’m sorry you had to go through that again,” Amari sighed. “I found another intact memory. Whenever you’re ready.”

“I couldn’t stop ‘er,” Nathan said. “I wasn’t—“

“Hey,” Kellogg piped up, stepping closer to the mic. “You get that outta your head right fuckin’ now. It wasn’t your fault.”

“Bullshit it wasn’t—“

“Nathan.”

The vaultie went silent for a long moment. “... Okay, Amari,” he finally said, and the doctor moved on to the next memory.

This one seemed to be the key. Father’s latest ‘pet project’ was standing in front of a lounging Claudette, and the cyborg shoved him back, the boy stumbling and landing hard on the floor. Amari gasped lightly in surprise, and a hard breath came from Nathan.

Shaun stood up like it was nothing, simply brushing his jeans off and apologizing for whatever he had done with a simple, “sorry, Claudette.”

A Courser that Kellogg recognized as X6-88 entered and gave Claudette an assignment to find Brian Virgil somewhere in the Glowing Sea. Briefly he wondered why he wasn’t given the assignment, but he shrugged it off and watched X6 take Shaun away via relay.

“Teleportation!” Amari exclaimed. “That’s it! No one’s found the entrance to the Institute because there is no entrance.” Her fingers tapped on the keyboard. “Let me pull you both out. Just a moment.”

 

* * *

 

Nathan got up too fast, stumbling forward to be steadied by Nick’s intact hand.

“Slow movements,” Amari stressed, her hands in front of her as she took a step back. “We don’t know what effects this could have—“

“She shoved my kid,” Nathan cut off as he started to pace.“She shoved my fucking kid. I told him, I fucking told him as soon as he was fucking born that…” His voice wavered, and he picked up a vase to throw it against the wall, the delicate glass shattering.

“Nathan, get a hold of yourself,” Nick said sternly. “Trashing Amari’s basement isn’t gonna make you feel better.”

“Well you tell me what will then! You saw him get up like it was nothing, right? It’s fuckin’ happened before. That was the face of a kid who’s used to it.”

“I…” Nick shifted his weight. “I don’t remember the memories. Amari said it has something to do with the implant’s connection.”

“There might also be some…” She trailed off when a spark burst off of Nick’s exposed circuits, and his eyes flickered before a woman’s laugh passed his lips, deep and bone chilling.

“Hope you found something useful, boys,” Claudette’s voice said. "I knew I should’ve killed you too back then. But the big boss just _needed_ his backup.” It was said tiredly, like it was a casual conversation. "But damn, you thawed out something nice."

Nathan didn’t say anything, just grabbed his pistol and aimed it at Nick. Kellogg knocked the angle up and a bullet went into the ceiling before he wrenched the weapon out of his grip.

“Stop taking my fucking _gun_!” Nate growled, spinning around and landing a punch on Kellogg’s jaw. The merc recovered instantly from the blow and shoved him down into the memory lounger, then closed the lid and quickly pressed the button on the terminal to seal it closed.

“Lemme out!” Nate ordered, kicking and pounding his fists against the locked door. “Are you fucking kidding me?!”

Kellogg ignored him and took his stance in front of Nick, getting into the grinning synth’s personal space.

“Hey handsome,” Claudette said calmly.

“Amari?” Kellogg said.

“It’s… It has to be a mnemonic impression,” she responded. “Let me unplug the implant.”

Nate was seeing red, his hearing turned to static and all he could do was kick at the pod in a blind rage. He didn’t want a single part of that bitch existing. If that meant killing Nick—

“You need to calm down,” Kellogg told him. “Claudette’s gone. Amari removed the implant and she’s gonna destroy it.”

“Nick—“

“Left. Thought it was for the best. Amari’s walkin’ him to the door to explain what happened.”

 _When the fuck…?_ “It’s too risky. He needs to—“

“It was the _implant_ , not Valentine.”

“… Let me out.”

“Not until you calm down.”

“You’re fucking with me, right? You can’t keep me in here.”

“I can’t? How much you wanna bet on that?”

He took in a shaking breath, raking both hands through the roots of his hair. “… She put ‘er hands on my kid.”

Kellogg leaned on the lounger, folding his arms over the door. “Yeah. I know. You got your revenge.”

“Thought revenge was supposed to make you feel better.”

Kellogg huffed out a humorless laugh. “Yeah, well. It doesn’t. Not really. You just gotta deal with that.”

He groaned, long and deep. “I feel like I’m gonna puke. Let me out.”

Kellogg hesitated, then pressed the release button. When Nate stood up he felt exhausted and heavy, his energy drained.

“Unless you’re gonna fuck me again, gimme my fuckin’ gun back.” He smiled weakly when Kellogg’s breath hitched, and his Jericho was slapped back into his expecting hand. He took the lead out of the basement. “There a place to crash around here?”

“I got an apartment in town,” Kellogg informed. “We can go there.”


	11. Chapter 11

The apartment was pretty much what Nate expected. Dimly lit, sparsely furnished, moonlight streaming through boarded up windows and crates of alcohol stacked near the couch.

“Spare room’s back there,” Kellogg told him, gesturing to the short corridor.

“Spare bedroom, huh? Thought I’d be crashing on the couch. Thanks.” He leaned down and crushed the cigarette he had lit outside of the Memory Den into the ashtray on the coffee table, sighing out the last drag of smoke. When he straightened up he met Kellogg’s eyes, and the tension between them thickened in an instant. Fort Hagen flashed through his mind and his mouth dried up. Desire was tangible, nearly crackling in the air and Nate was suddenly breathless.

“You, uh… got a shower?” he asked.

Kellogg nodded to a door just before the hallway, not taking his eyes off Nate.

He nodded. “Thanks.”

 

* * *

 

_“Good,” Sal purrs with a grin. “Now her arm.”_

_Nate takes one of the mobster’s tools, a blunt hatchet, and holds down Claudette’s arm, her hands already gone._

_“No!” Claudette screams, nearly guttural, but Nate ignores her and brings the blade down repeatedly until her arm is severed._

_“You’re a natural,” Sal praises, standing behind him and massaging his shoulders. “I told you we weren’t so different. Now the other arm.”_

_Dread spiked up Nathan’s neck, tightening his muscles. “Fuck you, I’m nothing like you.”_

_“Oh yeah? ‘Cause right now you’re doing exactly what pays my bills. And you’re enjoying it.”_

_“This woman deserves this. She—“_

_“I can say the same thing about everyone I take care of. Why do you think Navarra has me do this to my targets? They’ve wronged him. And this woman wronged you.”_

_“Please,” Claudette pipes up. “Please, stop this.”_

_The look in her eyes grabs Nate’s heart in a cruel fist, and he backs away. “I don’t wanna do this anymore.”_

_“Gotta finish what you started, Gentry.”_

_“I said I don’t want t— get the fuck off me! I said I don’t—!”_

 

“Nathan!”

He bolted up, hand lashing out to grab Kellogg’s forearm in a death grip. The merc was sitting on the edge of his bed, confusion etched between his brows. Nate huffed out a heavy breath and flopped back down. “Fuck.”

“Listen, you can have all the bad dreams you want, but try to keep it down, huh?” Kellogg said, standing up.

Nate sat up and shoved him away by his arm so he could stand, then yanked on his t shirt. “I’m gonna get a drink. Don’t wait up.”

“You sure getting drunk is a good idea?” Kellogg asked, following him out of the bedroom. “We got a long day tomorrow.”

“Which is why I’m leaving. Can’t have my mercenary getting short on sleep ‘cause of my bad dreams, right? Sleep tight, man.” With that, he walked out and slammed the door behind him.  
   
 

The bar scene was familiar. A sultry woman singing over loud conversations and drunken laughter, a dry-humored bar tender, overpriced watered down alcohol. It helped calm him down.

“Bottle of whiskey, Charlie,” a drifter said, taking a seat next to Nate and sparing him a glance.

“A lot for one person,” Nate commented. “… Which is my modest way of asking if you’re gonna offer me a drink.”

The man gave him a charming smile. “‘Course, if you answer two questions for me.”

“Shoot.”

He leaned closer, crossing his arms over the bar and looking at Nate with a serious expression. “… When did you leave heaven, and where’d you put your wings?”

Nate's eyebrows shot up. “Wow, that’s— I’ve actually never heard that one before.”

“How many points did it get me.”

“… Three.”

“And how many do I need to get you into bed?”

Nate loved forward men. “Ten.”

“And how much is the free whiskey worth?”

“… Seven. And if you exceed ten, we won’t even need a bed.”

 

* * *

 

Kellogg sat up for the fourth time, swinging his legs off the bed. He could be such a dick sometimes.

Yeah. Sometimes.

Seeing the fear in Nathan’s eyes and feeling his heart clench at it had kicked in his mental failsafe - block it out. Blocking it out meant not giving a fuck, and not giving a fuck pissed pretty boy off.

 _3am and he’s still not back. He has to at least get_ some _sleep. Don’t wanna deal with ‘im dragging his feet._

Kellogg didn’t bother with his undershirt and just shrugged his jacket on before leaving his apartment. He got as far as the Old State House, but after glancing down the first alleyway his search was already over. Nathan was against the wall, some scavver leaning against him, his ducked head cradled by Nathan’s hand. The stranger had his hand wrapped around both of them, stroking as Nathan bucked his hips. He gripped the scavver by his hair and tugged, bringing him into a kiss.

Kellogg tore his eyes away and strode back to his apartment, slamming the door behind him.  _He wants to stay up to get drunk and fuck scavvers, that’s fine. Long as he doesn’t come cryin’ to me with a hangover and a sore ass._

He tried to tell himself that that’s why he was angry. Tried to get the image out of his mind, tried not to imagine himself in the scavver’s shoes.

 

* * *

 

Nate bolted up with a gasp, flinching away from the hand that was shaking him, but he flopped back down when a pounding pressure grabbed his head.

“Rise and shine, pretty boy,” Kellogg said over his groan. “Ain’t gonna give you slack ‘cause you got a headache.”

Nate rolled out of bed, just barely catching himself from falling. “Yeah, yeah. Just give me a fuckin’ sec. Christ, have some sympathy.”

“I told you it was a bad idea. Ain’t my fault you decided to go out and get drunk.”

“Well maybe if you were more pleasant company I wouldn’t go searchin’ for it.”

“Yeah, ‘cause ‘pleasant company’ shoves you up against an alleyway wall.”

Nate paused from picking up his jacket from the floor, eyes darting up to meet Kellogg’s. The merc looked surprised himself. Nate threw on a smirk and straightened up. “You spyin’ on me, Kellogg?”

“Ain’t really spyin' if you’re out in the open.”

He heard the temper in his tone, and he cocked a brow. “You jealous?”

Kellogg’s jaw clenched and he advanced. Nate stepped back in a small bout of nervousness, but Kellogg simply picked up his jacket and shoved it into Nate’s chest. “Get ready,” he ordered, then left the bedroom.


	12. Chapter 12

After three minutes in the Glowing Sea, stocked heavily with rad-away and rad-x, Nate decided that he fucking hated it. The constant clicking of his geiger counter was starting to get annoying, and he was already on edge because Kellogg had barely said a single word since they left Goodneighbor a day and a half ago. Nate would have tried to strike up a conversation, but something in his manner compelled him to stay quiet. He probably couldn’t be heard over the radiation storm churning above them anyway.

_Maybe I did something to piss him off. Couldn’t have been ‘cause I went to the bar, right? It ain’t like the hangover slowed me down. Maybe…maybe he was worried? Nah, not him. Why would—_

A low hiss and growl ripped him out of his thoughts.

Kellogg had a hold of him in the blink of an eye, grabbing his arm to crush Nate to his chest. A whipping surge and they were thrown into the air, landing yards away. Nate was jarred on impact but he could just barely register that they were rolling on the dead soil. He splayed an arm out and they stopped, Kellogg heavy on top of him and a Deathclaw stalking towards them, head low and teeth bared.

Nate’s first thought was to protect Kellogg, the merc vulnerable and unmoving. He wrapped his legs around his waist and cradled his head to his shoulder as he reached down and slipped Kellogg’s pistol from its thigh holster. He aimed and sent three bullets into the approaching Deathclaw’s eye. The creature roared and staggered, then dropped dead.

“Hey,” Nate breathed, squeezing the back of Kellogg’s neck. He could feel blood seeping into his jeans. “Hey, you okay? Kellogg?”

“Yeah,” he murmured, pushing himself up. “Yeah, I’m…” He froze, eyes darting between Nate’s.

With a shaking hand, Nate reached up and soothed over Kellogg’s stubbled jaw, fingers curving to his neck to feel the tension there leaving. His other hand cupped his cheek, gently rubbing a thumb over Kellogg's eye. Nate's heart was hammering against his chest and he was breathing in labored pulls, but it wasn't because of the Deathclaw anymore.

Heavy stomps and a low hiss caught there attention, both of their heads jerking to see three more Deathclaws in the distance. “Fuckin’ herd,” Kellogg mumbled.

“Can they still see us if we stay still?”

Kellogg bolted up, taking Nate with him. “That station. Go!”

Nate dashed toward the crumbling Red Rocket, making sure Kellogg stayed right beside him. They squeezed through a massive crack in the wall, two of the Deathclaws reaching in after them just moments after they made it. Plaster rained down from the ceiling as the herd tried to squeeze through at once.

“Cellar,” Kellogg said, shoving Nate towards a hatch in the floor before prying it open and letting the vaultie jump down first. Kellogg closed it after them just as they heard the wall burst apart.

A high-pitched and panicked laugh spasmed out of Nate. “Holy shit. Holy _shit_.” He turned to Kellogg and saw him shrug his jacket off. “Why’d you take the hit?”

“It’s my job,” Kellogg said simply. “A job, by the way, that I still haven’t been paid for yet.”

Nate watched him peel off his undershirt and scanned his eyes over him. Then he snickered.

“What.”

“Nothing, I just thought of a really cheesy pick-up line. Why are you taking your clothes off?”

“Don’t want the fabric sticking to the gashes.”

“Just use one of those magical chems you got. The heavy duty ones.”

“I ain’t gonna waste one on this. It’s not that bad.”

“'Not that bad'? You've got massive gashes in your—“

“Nathan, just… hush. Okay? I’m fine.”

He threw his hands up in surrender. “Fine. Be that tough guy merc who brushes off shit like that like it’s nothing. No skin off my nose.”

Kellogg sat down on the floor, wincing when his back met the wall. “Great, you’re passive aggressive.”

Nate sighed and sat down next to him, though at a bit of a distance. They stayed silent for a moment, listening to the sound of the Deathclaws investigating above. Then Kellogg spoke.

“Kinda reminds me of when I was a kid, being down here,” he said quietly, eyes on the ceiling hatch. Light streamed through the edges of the door, tinted green and illuminating the dust in the air. “My mom used to hide me in the basement whenever my old man went on one of his rampages.”

Nate just stared at him in surprise, then Kellogg seemed to realize what he had just said.

“Oh. Shit,” he chuckled quietly, tipping his head back against the wall. Nathan slid closer almost comically, ass scraping against the gritty floor, and Kellogg rolled his eyes. “Yeah, surprise, surprise. I had a shitty dad too.”

“So is that why you’re the way that you are?”

“What way’s that.”

“Crabby. Distant. Kinda feels like you got somethin’ hanging over you all the time.”

He huffed out a humorless laugh. “Pretty boy, there’s a lot of shit that’s made me this way.”

“Hm. Can I take a guess at some?”

“… Fine. Ain’t like we got anything else to pass the time anyway.”

“Dead spouse, maybe kid, too?” Kellogg’s jaw clenched, and Nate nodded slowly. “So that’s a yes.”

“Doesn’t matter.”

“Bullshit it doesn’t. I mean, unless you were a complete shit husband and didn’t care about them. Were they killed?”

“I ain’t talkin’ about this.”

“That’s another yes.”

“Just shut up, all right?”

“How’d they die?”

“I wasn’t—“ He cut himself off, looking surprised for a moment.

Nate kept his eyes on his, saw something in them he never wanted to see again. Something that hurt. “… Doesn’t matter?”

Kellogg nodded subtly. “… Yeah. Doesn’t matter.”

“… There anyone you’re close with?” He thought he’d get shut down again, but the merc actually answered.

“Yeah. Mae. She’s up at Nuka World. Raider territory.”

Nate cocked a brow. “You’re friends with a raider?”

“I wouldn't really call her a classic Raider, but she likes their way of life.”

“… She just a friend, or…?”

Kellogg huffed out a laugh. “Nah, ain’t like that.”

“If she’s the only one you’re close with, why aren’t you with her?”

“Can’t be. But I visit sometimes.”

“How long have you known her?”

“… A while.” He was silent for a moment, then shocked Nate with a question. “Do you miss your old life?”

He tried to act casual, tried not to give away that he was happy Kellogg showed interest. He looked ahead. “Not really. Navarra controlled almost every part of it. Only thing I miss is Nora.”

“Not your son?”

“Makes me feel like shit to admit it, but no. Nora bonded with ‘im more than I did. I was… I dunno. It was almost like I was scared to touch ‘im. Like all the bad shit hanging on me would hurt him. People like me shouldn’t be parents. Don’t deserve to be.” He looked at Kellogg. “You know?”

The merc nodded, slowly, subtly. Nate was suddenly entranced, the calmness in Kellogg’s eyes steadying his heart but laboring his breath. He hadn’t even noticed he’d been leaning in until Kellogg caught his jaw just before their lips met. With no anger in his eyes, no annoyance, Kellogg loosened his grip and slowly pulled his hand back, trigger finger brushing over Nate’s bottom lip.

A roar from above and Nathan flinched away. The sound of the herd charging off boomed from the ceiling, making dust and dirt rain down. “Must’ve spotted something. Better get moving before they decide to come back,” Kellogg said, hauling Nate up with him as he stood.

“Right,” Nate sighed, brushing off his jeans as Kellogg shrugged on his jacket, leaving his blood drenched undershirt as a puddle on the floor.

 

* * *

 

Kellogg would have been worried about Virgil recognizing him, but the scientist had been gone for a long while, and he had always stuck to the FEV lab, an area that Kellogg never went to. Nathan purposely ran into the can chimes to make their arrival less of a surprise, and once they reached the cavern, a super mutant with glasses taped to his face stood tall.

“Hold it! Take it nice and slow, no sudden moves,” he ordered. “I know you’re from the Institute, so where’s Claudette? Huh? Trying to sneak up on me while you distract me? It’s not going to work! I’m not stupid, I knew they’d send her after me!”

“You’re Virgil?” Nathan said with uncertainty.

The mutant readjusted his lensless glasses. “You know damn well I am. What’re you doing here?”

“I just need information about the Institute.”

“So, they did send you, didn’t they. You’re working with Claudette!”

“Relax, big guy. Claudette won’t be coming after you. She’s dead.”

“Dead? She’s… dead? Don’t you lie to me!”

“I’m not lying,” he assured calmly. “I killed her myself.”

“You did…? Claudette was ruthless. Cruel. There’s a reason the Institute used her to do their dirtiest work for so many years. I knew they’d send her after me - tried to prepare for it. But I still wasn’t sure I’d make it… And so you. You killed her, eh? Then what do you want with me?”

“Why did you leave the Institute? I know you came from there.”

“You know about the escape? But how?! No, it doesn’t matter. I’m not going back… I can’t go back. Look at me! Why are you even here? What do you want?”

Nathan sighed. “ _Relax_. I just need information. I want you to help me get into the Institute.”

“I’m sorry, what? You want to get into the Institute? Are you insane? Never mind how nearly impossible that is, even if you were to succeed it’s almost certainly end in your immediate death. What reason could you possibly have for taking that kind of risk?”

Nathan hesitated before answering. “My son. The Institute kidnapped him.”

“Oh… oh, no. I’m… I’m sorry. I didn’t know. Yeah… The Institute’s taken people from the Commonwealth before. I can see why you’d want to get in there. I can help you, but I want something in return.”

“You help me, and I’ll help you. What d’you need?”

“Before I had to escape, I was working on a serum that would serve as a cure for my… condition. I wasn’t able to bring it with me. It’s still in my lab, and… Well, look at me. I need it. I need you to find it for me, if you manage to get inside the Institute.”

“Deal.”

“All right. Let’s talk details. First thing’s first - you know how synths get in and out of the Institute?”

“Yeah. They use some sort of teleporter.”

“Well, well… Not many people know about it. Pretty closely guarded secret. You’ve certainly done your homework. It’s commonly referred to as the ‘Molecular Relay’. I don’t understand all the science behind it, but it works. De-materializes you in one place, re-materializes you in another. I’m sure it sounds crazy, but it’s a reality. The relay is the only way in and out of the Institute. You understand? The only one. That means you’re going to have to use it. Now, have you ever seen an Institute Courser?”

“A Courser?” Nathan repeated. “What’s that?”

Kellogg closed his eyes. _Fuckin’ bad news, pretty boy._

“Another Institute secret. Coursers are Institute synths, designed for one purpose. They’re hunters. Operations go wrong, a synth goes missing, and a Courser is dispatched. They’re very good at what they do, and our friend here is going to have to kill one.”

Nathan cocked a brow. “Why?”

“Every Courser has special hardware that gives them a direct connection to the Relay in the Institute. It’s embedded in a chip in their heads. You need that chip. But to get it, you’ll have to find a Courser. Now I don’t know exactly where you can find one. They haven’t sent one after me, and sitting here waiting doesn’t seem like a good plan. You’re going to have to hunt one down. I can tell you where to start, and give you some help finding one, but you’ll have to do the dirty work.”

“Okay. Let’s get to work.”

“Right.The primary insertion point for Coursers is in the ruins of CIT, directly above the Institute. So you’ll want to head there. Now, the Relay causes some pretty heavy interference all across the EM spectrum. You’ve a radio on that Pip Boy, right? When you get to the ruins, tune it to the lower end of the band and listen in. You’ll be able to hear the interference. Follow the signal, and it’ll lead you to a Courser. Then you just have to… not get killed. Good luck.”

Nathan gave the mutant a smile, then headed to the cave’s entrance with Kellogg. “So straight to CIT?” 

“Your call,” Kellogg responded. “Might be smart to get some rest first though.”

He sighed, glancing away before meeting his eyes again. “All right. Let’s get outta here.”

Kellogg could only stare at him for a moment, his heart gripped in a tight fist as he remembered how fucking scared Nathan had looked after they landed from the Deathclaw’s swipe. Eyes blown so wide his irises were reduced to rings, lips parted to let passed panicked breaths. 

He remembered the way that he held on to him, legs wrapped tight around his waist, hand pulling Kellogg’s head into the crook of his shoulder. Like Nate wanted to shield him.

“Earth to Kellogg,” the vaultie said, bringing him back to attention. “You still with me?”

He nodded. “Yeah. I’m with you. Let’s go.”


	13. Chapter 13

Nate followed Kellogg into the apartment, tossing his jacket onto one of the chairs. Kellogg did the same, and Nate winced at the dried blood crusted and smeared on his back. But the gashes, stretching from his right shoulder blade to just below his left, were somehow already healing. “How the fuck did you not bleed out?”

“Hm?” Kellogg turned around and looked at him like he didn’t know what he was talking about.

“Half your blood is dried on your back and pants. The other half’s on my jeans.” The merc only shrugged. “Y’know what, fine. Just long as you’re alive, I guess.”

Kellogg stared at him for a moment, then sighed. “Would you relax?”

“What d’you mean, I am relaxed.”

“Yeah, ‘bout as relaxed as a taut wire.”

He was right. Every part of Nate was tense, from his toes digging into his shoes to the muscles in his neck. “Well, the Glowing Sea was… a lot.”

“Can’t argue that.” Kellogg turned around again to take a beer from the crate near the couch. The gashes on his back marred him, but his muscles still visibly rippled and shifted under the injury free and blood smeared parts of his skin.

“Hey Kellogg?”

“What.”

“Fuck me.”

He froze before turning back around, staring in slight disbelief.

“I need to get laid tonight and I’d rather it be you than a drifter, but if you’re not down for it then I need to book it out of here to the bar.” When Kellogg didn’t answer, he nodded, hoping his disappointment didn’t show. “Right. Got it. Don’t wait up.” He spun on his heels and headed for the door, but as soon as he opened it Kellogg’s hand slammed it closed again, and Nate could feel the heat of him at his back, feel his strength radiating.

Holding back a smile he reached for the doorknob again, only for Kellogg to take his wrist and pin it to the door. He turned around, staring at Kellogg through thick lashes. He waited, smirking with his eyes as he leaned back.

Lips parted, Kellogg raised his free hand, the other still loosely holding Nate’s wrist. His fingers stopped just short of Nate’s stomach.

“S’okay,” Nate said, nearly whispered. “Touch me.”

Kellogg pulled in a heavy breath, then pressed his fingertips to Nate’s shirt, increasing pressure as he trailed down to the hem, then slipping underneath and bunching the dirty fabric as he slid them up to his chest. He pressed his palm flat against Nate’s ribcage and stepped closer as he glided to the flank of his back, then down and around his hip to slide passed the front of his jeans.

Nate’s heart had been going crazy just from being pinned against the door, but as Kellogg stretched his fingers passed the band of his boxers, heated arousal fluttered through his stomach so intensely it echoed through his entire body.

A burst of impatience hit him and he gripped the back of Kellogg’s neck and tugged, knowing the merc would stop him just short of a kiss. “ _Fuck me_ ,” he repeated in a rough growl, the edges of his jaw aching from the grip Kellogg had now.

The merc spun him around and shoved him against the door, and Nate grinned wide as he heard Kellogg’s belt. He reached into his jean pocket and pulled out a tiny jar to hand it back to him, having stolen it from the drifter the other night. Only enough for one more go, but it was better than saliva.

Kellogg huffed out a laugh and took it from his hand, giving Nate the chance to quickly yank off his shirt while he slicked himself up.

“‘Never happens again’, he said,” Nate mocked playfully, voice muffled for a moment by the fabric of his shirt. “‘A mistake’ he called it.”

“You said both of those things, I just agreed.”

“Yeah, when I said ‘he’ I meant me.”

“God I hate you.” He shoved Nate’s jeans and underwear down, then tugged on his hips to urge the vaultie onto the tips of his toes. Nate rubbed his palms over the door, both arousal and excitement churning in his gut like a storm.

“Spread yourself for me, pretty boy,” Kellogg told him, bracing a hand on the door. Nate’s eyelids fluttered and he did as he said, taking a wider stance as he gripped his ass cheeks. Kellogg lined himself up and slowly pushed in.

The burning stretch was still there, no getting rid of that with how big the merc was, but the unpleasant pain from last time wasn’t there. He bottomed out and Nate winced with a tight frown, but the twinge of pain faded quickly, and he smiled breathlessly.

Kellogg tucked his arm under Nate’s and clasped his shoulder, keeping the vaultie pinned to him as he started a steady pace. Nate moved with him, bouncing onto his toes before rocking back onto the upper soles of his feet. As soon as the discomfort left, a moan sighed out of him and he slammed a hand back onto the door, the other one reaching to cradle the back of Kellogg’s head. The merc ducked his chin against his shoulder and his hand moved across Nate’s chest to grip his other shoulder, pinning him tighter.

Nate screwed his eyes shut just as they rolled back, eyelids twitching. He peeled his hand off the door and reached back to hold Kellogg’s hip as he thrust harder. “Kellogg…”

Kellogg shoved him harder against the door and went harder, thrusting deeper and hitting that sweet spot inside Nate that made stars burst across his vision. “Fuck, just like that,” Nate breathed. “Holy _shit_.”

Kellogg’s breath was coming out harsh against the crook of Nate’s shoulder, quiet gulps and fast, heated exhales. It had a constant pulse of arousal going off in Nate's gut, his mouth gaping and eyelids fluttering. It wasn’t much longer until he was fucked into a moaning incoherent mess.

“You still with me, pretty boy?” Kellogg asked, voice thrumming near Nate’s ear. He could only moan in response, and Kellogg huffed out a laugh, then wrapped his hand around Nate’s cock, stroking in time with his thrusts. Kellogg took the shell of his ear between his canine teeth, and the sudden pinprick of pain had Nate coming hard, spurting against the door as his cock throbbed in Kellogg’s fist.

“Hey, hey, hey,” Kellogg chided when he started to lose his strength to stand. “Stay up for me.”

“Mm…” He clenched tightly around Kellogg and the merc hissed, thrusts turning erratic. “C’mon, tough guy.”

“Fuckin’ _christ_ …” Sinking his teeth into Nate’s shoulder Kellogg came inside him with a choked sound, hand plastered just below the vaultie’s chest. He lingered for a moment before pulling out.

“Man,” Nate sighed as he stretched. “You really raised the fuckin' bar, huh? I call first shower.” He turned around to meet Kellogg’s glare.

“I’m crusted in dry blood," the merc countered.

“Shoulda thought about before you came inside me.” He brushed his chest against Kellogg’s with challenge in his eyes as he slid out from between him and the door. “I’ll be quick.”

 

* * *

 

Kellogg rubbed a hand over his head as he sat down on the couch, bracing his elbows on his knees. It might still be a mistake, fucking the big boss’s father, but right now it was worth it.

He didn’t know what came over him when Nathan said he was going to go find someone else. Whatever it was, it pissed him off something fierce. Nathan had said he wanted _him_ , so why would he talk about finding someone else two seconds later? 

The vaultie came out of the shower with his jeans riding low. “Know what I miss?” he questioned, toweling his hair off. “Coffee. The good stuff, not the kind people whip up on burners.”

Kellogg blinked at the sudden admission. “I got a coffee maker in the kitchen.”

“Where the fuck did you get a working coffee maker?”

He stared into the middle distance for a moment before answering, “… Store.”

“Store,” Nathan repeated. “Okay. And you were just gonna keep this from me, huh.”

“You never asked, so yeah.” He stood and passed him for the bathroom. “Wait till morning. you don’t need the caffeine this late.”

Nathan made a dramatic noise of disgust. “I can have coffee whenever I fuckin’ want, all right, I’m an adult.”

Kellogg put his hands palm-side up in surrender before closing the bathroom door.

 

* * *

 

Nate sat on the kitchen counter and leaned back against the wall, closing his eyes and savoring the taste of properly brewed coffee. He had taken Kellogg’s advice, despite his urge to be spiteful, and waited until morning.

The coffee maker was surprisingly well kept, almost like it had been locked in a vault itself. He didn’t believe Kellogg’s story about where he found it, but it didn’t really matter to Nate where it came from, just that it was there.

“Got any more appliances I’d like to know about?” he asked when he heard Kellogg walk in. “Waffle press, blender, maybe a juicer.”

“Nope. Just a coffee maker.”

Nate lifted his head off the wall. “Did you just say ‘nope’? That’s so casual.”

“Just drink your fuckin’ coffee so we can get outta here.”

His head thumped back again, and lifting his mug to his lips he mumbled, “That’s the Kellogg I know.”


	14. Chapter 14

“Well that’s gonna be annoying,” Nate grumbled as he tuned in to the Courser’s signal. “So which direction do we go? It ain’t in C.I.T since it’s pretty weak.”

“This way,” Kellogg said, gesturing towards a far off parking lot.

“Based on?”

“Me sayin’ so. Get walking.”

Nate’s arm fell limply to his side and put attitude into his walk as he passed Kellogg. The merc rolled his eyes and followed.

“Over that wall,” Kellogg instructed once they reached the parking lot. Nate stood on the hood of a car, then used a parking meter as a boost to make the small jump into raider territory. He grabbed his pistol when the guards turned, but Kellogg stopped him with a hand to his wrist.

“Mae’s boys?” he called.

“Yeah,” the man called back. He was dressed colorfully, reminded Nate of a carnival. “Who wants to know?”

“Kellogg. You took this place over?”

“Kellogg,” the woman repeated. “So you’re him, huh? Yeah, we kicked the previous raiders out. Come on through.”

“Never met raiders that haven’t just opened fire,” Nate commented as they passed through the gate.

“One of Mae’s rules. She kicked the more troublesome raiders out and took up the space with her own.”

“Aren’t they all troublesome?”

“Yeah, but they were the ones who overdid things. Even the other ‘Wealth gangs hated them. Any remaining raiders around here are tied into some kind of uneasy alliance with either Nuka World or just the Pack."

“The Pack?”

“Her guy’s gang. Bunch of rowdy fuckers, but they’re loyal.”

“Restock if you need to,” one of the raiders told them. “Mae said you get special treatment if we see you traipsing around. Just don’t take a lot, okay? Caravans are slow recently.”

“We’re good,” Nate waved off, staring at the screen of his pip boy. “Kellogg, I think it’s this way.”

They followed the signal a short distance to Greentech Genetics, the steady beeping growing rapid once they reached the door. “Okay, okay, fuck off,” Nate mumbled, switching the signal off.

“Let me take the lead,” Kellogg told him as he opened the door.

“Sure. Go right ahead.” He followed after Kellogg into the lobby then up the stairs, where dead Gunners were strewn about their path. 

“Hm,” Nate hummed. “Not a very good sign. I thought Gunners were supposed to be tough.”

“They are,” Kellogg said. “But Coursers are tougher. When we catch up to it, let me handle ‘em, all right?”

“Knock yourself out.”

 

  
“So new discovery about myself,” Nate announced over gunfire, bashing the head of a Gunner in with the butt of his pistol. “I hate these mercenary motherfuckers.”

Kellogg ducked an incoming baton and shot its wielder. “Well get used to ‘em - they're everywhere. Remember what I said about the Courser—“

“You’ll take care of it,” Nate repeated tiredly, pressing on up the stairs. “Because you’re the big strong merc who can handle alllll the big baddies.”

Kellogg passed him. “When you do finally pay me, I better get extra for having to put up with your smart ass remarks.”

“My smart ass remarks should be payment enough actually, because they’re endearing as fuck.”

“Annoying as fuck, I think you mean.”

“You say that now, but you’re gonna miss ‘em after we part ways.” The actuality of it hit him suddenly, and it seemed to do the same to Kellogg because his steps faltered for a moment. Nate hadn’t really thought about the day where he would no longer need Kellogg’s backup. And he didn’t want to.

He rushed to the lead again. “C’mon slowpoke, we got a Courser to fuck up. Or, you do.”  
 

 

When they finally reached the top floor, The Courser killed two kneeling Gunners execution style before turning his attention to Nate and Kellogg. “You’ve been following me,” he stated in a smooth, almost monotone voice. “Are you here for the synth?”

“Uh, I’m actually here to pick up an order,” Nate answered. “Large pepperoni and a calzone? Name is, _fuck you_?” He heard Kellogg sigh.

“If you’re not here for the synth, you’re here for me,” the Courser said. “What. Do you. Want.”

“I need what’s in your head.”

“That you cannot have.”

With that, Kellogg aimed his pistol at the Courser and fired. In an instant his head became a bloody mess and his body crumpled to the floor.

Nate flinched hard and stumbled back. “The fuck was that?!”

“Explosive round,” Kellogg answered, stepping over to the Courser and searching for its chip. “Only have a few... Found it, let’s go.”

“Right… go where?”

“We need to get the chip analyzed. Think Amari is our safest bet - she’s got the tech.”

“A little help over here!”

They both turned towards the window of a small office to see the supposed synth. Nate walked over to the door and picked it open, and the woman rushed out like he’d lock it again if she wasn’t quick enough.

“Thank you,” she breathed. “I don’t know how I’ll pay you back for this.”

“Don’t need to,” Nate told her, shrugging off his jacket to leave him in his sleeveless hoodie. “Take this, those farming clothes ain’t gonna getcha far.”

She blinked at him in surprise as she took the polymer weave jacket, then yanked it on, cheeks flushing as it swallowed her up. “Thank you.”

“Yeah, yeah. Go on and get outta here.”

She flashed him a smile and rushed off.

“Y’know,” Kellogg mumbled, “doin’ things like that make it kinda hard to believe that you were such a bad guy before the War.”

He hesitated for a moment. “Well… along with my shower thoughts about coffee, I thought… well, maybe in this new life I got, I can be less of an asshole. Be the man Nora thought I was. Ain’t gonna be easy, being scum is how I survived, but… gotta try, right? For her?” Kellogg only stared, and Nate nodded. “Right. Why am I askin’ you. Let’s go.”

Kellogg silently followed him into the elevator, but after a few moments he spoke. “You don’t have to do anything for anyone, y’know,” he said. “If you’re gonna be a ‘good guy’, do it ‘cause you want to. Or you’re just gonna be miserable.”

“Just wanna be myself, but after working for Navarra for so long and playin’ the perfect husband, I don’t really know who I am.”

“Well you ain’t gonna find out if you’re still livin’ for someone else.”

Nate sighed and sparked a cigarette as the doors opened. “Fuck, man.”

A smile twitched at Kellogg’s lips, and they stepped through.


	15. Chapter 15

Amari was working on the first floor at her terminal. “I tracked down Virgil,” Nathan told her, Kellogg hanging back. “He has a way inside the Institute. But I need a code from this Courser chip.”

“A Courser chip?” Amari said in slight disbelief. “You fought a Courser? Oh my god. I’m sorry, I can’t help you. That technology is far beyond me. But… I do know a group that can help you. The Railroad.”

Kellogg’s eyes fluttered closed. _Fuck._

“The Railroad?” Nathan repeated. “I’ve heard of ‘em.”

“I work with them occasionally. They gave me a code phrase to use if I ever needed to get in contact with them. ‘Follow the Freedom Trail’.”

Nathan thought for a moment, then nodded. “I think I know where to start.”

“I’m sorry what I have is so cryptic. Hopefully they’ll be able to help you. Good luck.”

“Nick told us about them, right?” Nathan asked Kellogg as they left.

“Yeah,” Kellogg answered simply. “So you wanna find ‘em now?”

“Nah, getting dark soon, and I need a drink. Wanna join?”

“… Sure.”

 

  
Kellogg rarely got drunk nowadays, and never with company, so he hadn't remembered until now that he didn't have much of a filter when smashed.

“Why was your dad so hard on you?” he asked abruptly before taking another pull from his whiskey.

Nathan cocked a brow, but didn’t seem upset at the question. “Why was yours?”

“Who said he was.”

“You did.”

“… Oh. Shit. Yeah, I did. He was just a shit person, lived at the bottom of a bottle. Think he ran with a Raider gang. Don’t know why my ma was with ‘im. Maybe at one point in his life he _wasn’t_ a complete asshole.” Another pull. “Your turn.”

“He had expectations before I was even born. Wanted a son who was tough, a kid who didn’t cry when he scraped his fuckin’ knee, who’d be kissin’ girls by age 12. He got me. But fuck if he wasn’t gonna try and make me the son he wanted. Thought roughing me up would teach me how to be tough, but it just fucked me up.”

“Did you still talk to ‘im when you got older?”

“Fuck no. Ran outta that place as soon as I could and didn’t look back. You?”

“Same here. Felt kinda bad leavin’ my mom behind. She got roughed up even more than I did, since she took beatings for me. Don’t know what happened to her after I left. Didn’t wanna know.”

“… Maybe she got away too, no son to look after.”

Kellogg huffed out a humorless laugh. “Pretty thought.”

Footsteps behind them, and suddenly a drifter was draped over Nathan’s shoulders. “Hey handsome,” the man greeted, obviously drunk. “You lookin’ for a good time?”

Nathan weakly tried to shrug the man off. “Hands off, man.”

Kellogg’s chest started to burn with irritation and his fingers twitched, wanting to curl into fists.

“And why’s that? Think I won’t measure up? Gimme a chance.” Brazenly he slid his hands under Nathan’s shirt, and that’s what had Kellogg standing up, yanking the drifter away and knocking him out with one good swing. He calmly sat back down and sidelong glanced at Nathan to see his surprised smile.

“What the fuck was that for?” he asked.

“Didn’t want him touchin’ you, right? As your merc, it’s my job to get the fucker off you.”

“ _My_ merc, huh,” he said, voice husky with amusement. He took a drag from his cigarette. “Guess so.”

 

* * *

 

Kellogg barely got the apartment door open before Nathan was slamming it closed and shoving him against it, tossing his cigarette and crushing it under his heel before placing kisses over his chest. “Woah, down boy,” Kellogg mumbled, hands palm-side up.

“Yessir,” Nathan breathed, falling to his knees. He flashed a grin at Kellogg’s expression and slowly worked at his belt. “Can I?”

He felt the question through his entire body, and he hated how his answer came out just a bit breathless. “Knock yourself out.”

Nathan yanked down Kellogg’s pants to his thighs and took out his hardening cock, giving a few strokes before closing his mouth over the tip, circling with his tongue. Kellogg raked his fingers through Nathan's hair, petting and gripping when his lashes fluttered in response.

Nathan found the right rhythm impressively quickly, his tongue finding all the right spots while his hand stayed wrapped around what he didn’t fit into his mouth, stroking in time with the drag of his lips. He undid his own belt and slipped his hand passed his underwear.

“You havin’ fun down there?” Kellogg thrummed, and Nathan flicked his eyes up to meet his to reflect a smirk.

For however long Kellogg would live for, be it five more years or a hundred, the sight of Nathan on his knees, glistening, swollen lips wrapped around his cock and hand stroking his own, would always be the sexiest thing he’s ever seen.

He fisted the soft strands on the side of Nathan’s head. “Might wanna ease up, pretty boy.”

Nathan glared and Kellogg knew what he was thinking - _Fuckin’ make me._

“You don’t want to, huh? What, you happy with a mouthful of cum?” Nathan moaned around him. “Bet you look good like that.”

Nathan's eyes slipped closed as he bucked into his fist, and the fact that he came from Kellogg’s voice was admittedly an ego boost. He gained more enthusiasm, sucking harder and taking him deeper. Kellogg’s head hit the door with a loud thud, his hand still riding along with the movement of Nathan’s head, strands of his hair held tight in Kellogg’s fist.

When he came Nathan met his eyes again, the green darkened and glittering. “Ah ah,” Kellogg chided when he pulled off and sealed his lips. He gripped the vaultie’s jaw. “Open.”

Nathan smiled with his eyes and parted his lips to show the cum pooled inside his mouth, coating his tongue. Kellogg dented his thumb and finger against his cheeks to keep his mouth open. “Swallow.”

Nathan tilted his head back further so Kellogg could watch the back of his throat work as he swallowed him down. He closed his mouth when Kellogg released his hold, the look in his calm eyes so arrogant and so fucking erotic it made Kellogg's cock twitch.

Nathan pressed a kiss to Kellogg’s thigh as he tucked himself back into his pants, then took the hand Kellogg offered to stand. The vaultie smiled as he backed away, wide and proud. “Nighty night.”

Kellogg huffed out a quiet laugh. “Yeah.”


	16. Chapter 16

Hood up and hands stuffed in his pocket, Nate followed Kellogg through the drizzling rain with a mopey expression, eyes to the ground for the next sign of the Freedom Trail.

“Don’t know how you don’t feel like shit, too,” he mumbled. “You drank just as much as I did.”

“Higher tolerance I guess,” Kellogg offered.

“Riiight. So what’s your take on the Railroad?”

“Don’t really have one.”

“What about synths?” He shrugged. “No opinions at all, huh. Whatever, I’m too hungover to pry.”

“Should get you drunk more often.”

He smiled. “Jackass.”

 

* * *

 

It’s been a while since Kellogg was this uptight. As the wall slid open to reveal th pitch black room, he wondered what Father would want him to do. If this was the location of the Railroad, this would end a search that’s lasted since their last hideout.

The lights flashed on to reveal a red head and three weapon wielding heavies. Kellogg stayed silent and still as Nathan smooth talked his way through interrogation, then the red head, Desdemona he had caught, disappeared with the Courser chip around a corner for a minute before returning with a holotape.

“Good luck,” she smiled. “I hope you decide to use our help again. An alliance between us could be beneficial.”

“I’ll keep you in mind,” Nathan smiled back. “See ya.”

Kellogg could play off this. They didn’t actually see the HQ, right? So he couldn’t give an honest report. He had nothing against the Railroad. To him, synths were just like people. Maybe it was because he was half robot himself.

“Glowing Sea again,” Nathan said quietly.

“Yeah,” Kellogg sighed. “Glowing Sea again. Let’s try and keep this trip a little smoother than last time.”

“Yeah? ‘Cause I was thinkin’ I'd find more Deathclaws, maybe die a couple times.”

“That smart mouth of yours is gonna get you punched some day.”

He smirked. “I dunno, I think it’s gotten me into a fair share of good times. Pretty skilled with it.”

With a spike of confidence, Kellogg mumbled as he took the lead, “Don’t I fuckin’ know it.”

 

* * *

 

“We made it without any incidents,” Nate sighed as he stumbled into Virgil’s cave. “Talk about luck, huh?”

“Don’t jinx us, all right, pretty boy? We still got the trip back to go through.”

Virgil took a step back from his chem station when he heard their footsteps. “Wasn’t sure if I’d see you again,” he greeted. “You managed to get what you need?”

“No, I just went out for a little stroll,” Nate responded dryly. “Thought I’d stop back and say hi.”

“It’s a good thing your survival and my humanity aren’t at stake, otherwise I might be annoyed by your attitude. But…” Virgil sighed. “Fine. I shouldn’t have doubted you to come back. You did get rid of Claudette after all. Not too much of a leap to take down a Courser. How’d you manage to get it decoded?”

“I’ve made some friends in the Commonwealth.”

“Better you than me. Face like this, I’m not gonna make too many friends. You’re not the only one who’s been busy. I did the best I could. From memory and things I overheard through the years. Came up with some schematics for you. Wasn’t easy. These hands are ridiculous. Fine motor skills have gone to shit. Here’s the simple explanation: you need to build a device that will hijack the signal the Institute uses to teleport Coursers and send you instead. You know the craziest part of the design? That classical music station. That’s the carrier signal for the relay. All the data’s on harmonic frequencies. You’ve been hearing it all along… I want to be clear that this isn’t my area of expertise. I was BioScience. Not engineering or Advanced Systems or anything.”

“BioScience?” Nate repeated. “Advanced Systems?”

“Divisions within the Institute. Specialized groups working on various projects. It’ll make sense later. But if you can build this device and make use of that code, you should be able to override the signal from the Institute’s relay. Can you, I mean can you build it, you have people that can help. This is a lot for one person, even you.”

“I’ve got it covered,” Nate assured.

“Good. Good. Because you’ve gotta make it in there. For both our sakes. And don’t you forget our agreement. I’ve helped you as best I can. If you make it in there, you find that serum. It’s my only hope for ever being… normal. So you find it. Now go on. Take these and get to work. You do whatever it takes, call on whoever you know to help you.”

Nate tucked away the schematics. “Thanks again. See you later.”

“Hmph. Hopefully.”


	17. Chapter 17

“So these aren’t Mae’s guys?” Nate shouted over the gunfire, taking cover behind a car.

“Well, they opened fire, so I think it’s safe to say no,” Kellogg responded from a few feet away. “Plus they ain’t dressed in stupid fuckin’ outfits.”

Nate heard a scrape against the ground beside him and looked down in time to see a raider sneaking up on her hands and knees. Catching him by surprise she plunged a combat knife into his side and tore it down to his hip. Nate choked on a scream, and a bullet zipped passed his head to take down the assailant. In spasming breaths he turned to sit on his ass while Kellogg took down the few raiders left.

“Too bad for stimpaks,” Nate gasped when the firefight ceased. “This is what we get for taking a different route.”

Kellogg jogged over to him and reached into his pockets, and the expression that appeared on his face made Nate’s blood go cold. “Fuck. _Fuck_ ,” the merc growled. “Okay, uh… can you stand up?”

“You out of those super chems?” Nate asked, clasping his hand around Kellogg’s wrist while the merc did the same to his. His legs gave out for a moment, but Kellogg kept him up, forearm straining from supporting Nate’s weight.

“Yeah. We gotta find somewhere safe to stop the bleeding.”

“Just find an alley. What I used to do.”

“Alleys ain’t as secluded as they used to be. One of those apartments will do.”

“Man, that’s far.”

“You can bleed out, if you want.”

“Apartment it is.” He gritted his teeth through the journey towards the complex, arm slung over Kellogg’s shoulders. The merc kicked open the door to the first floor and sat Nate down on an old couch, then helped him get his pack off, followed by his shirt.

“Give it to me straight, doc,” he joked, and Kellogg’s eyelids closed tiredly for a moment.

“Wait here,” he ordered.

“Yeah sure, I ain’t goin’ anywhere.” He followed Kellogg with his eyes as he tore down a curtain and ripped it in half, and he could feel himself start to get dizzy. 'The worrying stage' as they used to put it.

Kellogg strode back to the couch to sit Nate up and use the thick cloth as a makeshift bandage. “Listen, I’m gonna go and get more of those chems, all right?” he said. “My source ain’t far. Don’t move too much while I’m gone.”

Nate caught him by the wrist. “Don’t leave me.” He knew he sounded fucking pathetic, but he didn’t want to be left alone. Not like this.

Kellogg turned fully back to him, eyes calm but stern. “I’ll be five minutes. I promise.”

“Yeah? Your source that close?”

“I wouldn’t lie to you about it.”

Reluctantly, he released Kellogg’s wrist. “If I die here, I’m haunting your ass for the rest of your days. That’s a promise.”

“Well, if the injury wasn’t motivation enough…”

Nate huffed out a laugh, expression crinkling from the pain it caused. “Hurry back.”

 

  
Kellogg wasn’t back in five minutes. He was back in one.

“Welcome home, dear,” Nate slurred. “Dinner’s in the fridge.”

“Bleeding out and you still manage to be a shithead,” Kellogg responded, readying the chem that would seal Nate’s waist. “Curtain off.”

“Shu-“ the fabric tugged on the gash, “shit, fuck that hurt.”

Kellogg stabbed the needle just above the wound, Nate’s skin twitching at the intrusion. “Give it a minute.” He flopped down next to him, avoiding the bloodstain that had formed. “I dunno how you managed to miss someone sneaking up right next to you.”

“Hard to hear with guns goin’ off in my ears. You said you had good eyesight, right? Why didn’t you see ‘er?”

“Hard to see someone with somebody else in the way.”

“Touché. So that source of yours must be _real_ fuckin’ close, huh?”

“Yeah.”

Nate almost asked why he was lying. In his line of work it was important to know when someone was holding something back, and even Kellogg couldn’t hold back the subtle signs. But in the grand scheme of things, it didn’t matter. What mattered is that he came back, and that his hand was now inching towards Nate’s so slowly he hadn’t noticed it at first.

Nate’s little finger twitched before he stretched it out, curling it over Kellogg’s. A small bit of panic hit him when the merc withdrew, but it was soothed away when Kellogg turned his hand palm-side up and slid it under Nate’s, their fingers fitting together and Kellogg’s grip stilling the weak shaking that still lingered.

Nate sighed and rested his head on the couch’s backrest to let his eyes close.

 

* * *

 

“You sure you wanna do this?” Kellogg asked, and Nate answered by knocking quietly on the door before opening it and peaking in.

“Is the detective in?” he asked, almost shyly, and Nick spun around in his chair, leaning back when their eyes met.

“Nathan,” he said gently.

“… Sorry,” Nate mumbled. “For… y’know. Almost killin’ you.”

The synth smiled. “No sweat. I understand. Come on in.”

Nate stepped inside with Kellogg behind him. “It hasn’t happened again, has it?”

“No, not since Amari removed the implant. You don’t gotta worry, Nathan. It won’t happen again. Did you find Virgil?”

“Yeah, along with the Railroad. They decoded a Courser chip that Virgil had us tag down, now we’re on our way back to give the holotape to him. We just stopped by ‘cause I wanted to clear things up, plus it’s getting dark, so…” he shifted his weight. “We good, Nicky?”

Valentine smiled. “Yeah, Nate. We’re good.”

“Great. I’ll see you later, then.”

“You bet. Stay safe out there.”

“No problem there. I got a good merc watchin’ my back.” He turned and shot Kellogg a wink as he passed for the door.  
 

 

“Don’t suppose you got an apartment here, too?” Nate said, sitting at the noodle stand. "Dugout was too fuckin' loud."

“Nah," Kellogg thrummed. "Sorry. 'Less you wanna hand over 2000 caps for Home Plate."

“… There’s Claudette’s house.”

Kellogg’s eyebrows twitched. “You’d be fine with stayin’ there?”

“Yeah, I’ll be fine. Let’s just hope she’s not haunting it now.”

 

 

As soon as they got to the apartment, Nate started trashing the entire place.

“Kinda feel like a teenager again,” he called from upstairs just before kicking a dresser to the first floor so it burst apart. He jumped down after it, landing on the dented metal desk.

“You done bein’ a vandal?” Kellogg joked, smoke puffing from his lips as he spoke.

“Not quite.” Nate grinned as he shrugged off his sweatshirt. “Let’s break the fucking bed. Or, more accurately, let’s see if the big strong merc can fuck me hard enough to break it.”

Calmly, Kellogg placed his cigar in the ashtray, and Nate hurried up the stairs. By the time Kellogg caught up he was already naked.

“Fuck, you work fast,” Kellogg said, taking off his own clothes.

“Practice,” Nate offered simply. He gripped the back of Kellogg’s neck and, like expected, the merc caught his jaw just before their lips met, and Nate grinned as Kellogg walked him backwards to shove him down onto the bed. He went for Kellogg’s belt and the merc gripped his hair, sending fiery tendrils of pleasure down his spine. Once the belt was unclasped he slipped his hands under Kellogg’s shirt to appreciate the muscle underneath for a short moment before stroking his cock in his hand. He glided his tongue from base to tip before taking Kellogg into his mouth to slick him up. He started to get lost in it, putting in more than necessary, but he was interrupted by a hard yank to his hair.

“Hey!” he complained, but a smile threatened to break as Kellogg flipped him onto his knees.

“Sorry, were you havin’ fun?” 

“Don’t hold back, okay?”

“You tell me if it gets too much.”

Nate huffed out a laugh. “Doesn’t that sound fuckin’ promising.” He relaxed and closed his eyes when Kellogg’s hand returned to his hair, raking and petting as his other hand slowly glided down the flank of his back before gripping his ass.

“Stay still, pretty boy.”

“Why, is your aim shit?” With that, Kellogg slapped his ass hard, and Nate yelped in surprise. “Did you just—?”

“Keep bein’ a smart ass and I’ll do it again.”

“You tryin’ to motivate me?”

Kellogg tugged Nate’s hair to crane his neck back. “You into that shit, pretty boy?”

He’s never tried it before, but the sharp sting was starting to melt into a pleasant buzz. “Not sure. Wanna find out?”

Kellogg shoved his head down to the mattress, the vaultie’s cheek against it. “Some other time.” He moved his hand from Nate’s head to his shoulder, then slid himself inside. A grin split Nate’s face and a breathless cry escaped him when Kellogg bottomed out, and the merc braced a hand on the headboard, thrusting to rock Nate’s body forward. He worked up to a hard and fast pace, keeping Nate pinned by a grip to his neck.

“Holy _fuck_ , Kellogg,” Nate gasped, hands tightening on the edge of the mattress above his head. Kellogg’s hand let go of Nate’s shoulder and slid down his spine to curve along his waist, then suddenly the headboard snapped and his chest quickly met Nate’s back.

Nate breathed out a laugh, giddy when he felt Kellogg grin against his shoulder. His arm slid around to the front of Nate’s body to cross his chest, and Kellogg nipped at his neck before rocking them both forward to continue on with an unforgiving pace.

Nate was blissed out in moments, losing himself as Kellogg rammed into him. The only thing that finally got through to him was the snap of one of the boxspring’s legs, the right corner at the head of the mattress collapsing down to an angle. The left one followed soon after, and Kellogg sat up, keeping Nate pinned to his chest as he leaned back to keep them upright.

“Kellogg,” Nate panted, and one of the merc’s hands gripped his jaw.

“Name never sounded so good,” he mumbled, so quietly it must have been to himself. But Nate had heard it, and the low thrum near his ear coupled with the constant brush of Kellogg’s cock over his sweet spot is what shoved him off the edge.

Kellogg watched over Nate’s shoulder as the vaultie came, then suddenly he body slammed them both onto their sides to the other half of the bed, breaking the last two legs of the boxspring. Nate’s laugh was so hard it came out as a wheeze, and a wide grin stayed plastered on his face as Kellogg wrapped his arms around him to reach his own end, his hips stuttering against Nate’s ass.

His smile faltered as Kellogg’s hand raked through his hair from the side of his head to the top, gripping gently. There was something in the way it was done that had tenderness burst to life in his chest - soft and smothering and warm. He closed his eyes and a soft sigh escaped him.

Then Kellogg was off the bed, yanking his pants back up. “I’m gonna take the couch.”

Nate almost invited him to stay, wanted him to, but he had a strong feeling Kellogg would refuse. He put on a smile and stretched. “Sure, man. Get some use out of it before I destroy it.”

Kellogg shot him a lighthearted glare, then headed down the stairs.


	18. Chapter 18

The Railroad watchmen pushed off the wall. “You two again.”

“Yeah, us again,” Nate responded. “Desdemona in?”

“Always. Wait here.”

Desdemona appeared just moments later. “Didn’t expect to see you again so soon, though I’m not complaining. Especially since I suspect you have some intel.”

“The Institute uses a teleporter,” Nate told her. “I’ve got schematics to build it, but I can’t even begin to understand all the science shit written down. Was hoping you have someone who could.”

“A teleporter,” Desdemona repeated. “To think that the Institute could build something so… All right. We’ll help, but on one condition.”

Nate groaned.

“You work for us undercover. You get in, then bring back all the intel you can scrounge up.”

“Undercover? Won’t I have to stay on their good side?”

“Yes.”

“Well that’ll be a problem. ‘cause I’m planning on raising hell as soon as I get in there.”

“That’s reckless and dangerous. They’ve got dozens of Coursers that would take you down in an instant. Look, I know how you feel. They took your son, you’re angry. But I promise you, the Institute will get theirs. You just need to be patient. This needs to be done carefully so there’s actually a chance. What d’you say, Nathan?”

“… All right. I’m good at keeping secrets. It’s a deal.” He shook her hand.

“Good. Just a moment. Tom! Get over here!”

“What’s up, Dez?” a man in overalls asked, lifting up goggles from his eyes.

“Nathan, this is Tinker Tom. Tom, Nathan Gentry. Nathan here has plans to build a teleporter that’ll get him into the Institute, and I need you and your boys to build it.”

Tinker took the plans from Nate. “Hold on, hold on, hold on. Who wrote this? Some kid with a crayon? Shiiit, must’ve been a real big kid.” He took a minute to read over the plans before he sighed. “Ah, man! Those Institute eggheads are crazy. But you can diverge the signal using heavily modified relay interception. Like pirating a broadcast, you know? That’s intense. The plans cover all the high-end egghead shit. I can have some of our boys take care of making it, but it might take a bit.”

“While Tinker takes care of the teleporter,” Desdemona said, “why don’t you run a job for us as a show of good faith.”

“What kind of job?” Nate asked.

“One of our safehouses has gone dark, and we need someone to check it out.”

“Don’t you have people for that?”

“No one’s available right now, and we’ve already been brushing Augusta off for too long.”

“… Sure. Just show me where it is on my map.” Desdemona took his arm in her hand and scanned over the map. “… Can I call you Dez?”

She glanced up at him with slight surprise. “… Sure. So here’s the safehouse, and here’s where we’ll build the relay. Since these locations are such a distance apart, Tom and his boys should have it ready by the time you report in. Meet us there.”  
 

As they walked through the catacombs, Nate sidelong glanced at Kellogg. “So what’s up your ass? You’ve been giving off tense vibes since we got back here.”

Kellogg just offered him a glance. “Nothin’.”

“Y’know this ‘I’m too tough to share my feelings’ act is gettin’ old.”

“You’re such a shithead.”

He fished out a cigarette. “So I've been told.”

 

* * *

 

“I know it’s late sayin’ this,” Kellogg mumbled as they stared at the severed heads on pikes in front of the safehouse’s entrance, “but welcome home.”

Nate huffed out a laugh. “Wish I could say I haven’t seen shit this fucked up before. But this was how Sal gave warnings. One time when I was on a job with him, Navarra wanted to make sure I had the stomach for this, he killed a cop’s wife and speared her head on a broom.”

“Fuck,” Kellogg whispered. He’d seen his share of fucked up shit, but that made his stomach turn.

“Yeah. I puked ‘cause I was still pretty green, and Sal laughed.” He pushed the door open. “Does my heart good to know that he probably got nuked.”

“‘Probably’?”

“Not sure if Navarra put him in a vault too. I couldn’t be the only one, right?”

Kellogg knew it wasn’t really a question, so he didn’t answer. Just followed Nate into the main room and took down three raiders before they even knew what was happening. The entire place was crawling with them, and they had set up a fighting ring at the center inside the basement, every floor above it gone to create a betting arena.

Nate lost sight of Kellogg halfway through the fight, but he could distinguish the sound of his .44 from the other guns firing off. He focused on the sound as he made his way down each floor, looking everywhere for an answer to what exactly had happened while taking down raiders at the same time. Finally he found a holotape inside a desk.

“Found a report,” he called, the firefighting over with. “Augusta was wiped out by the Institute a pretty long time ago.”

“We knew it was wiped out from the moment we got here,” Kellogg’s voice responded.

“But not by who. Come find me so we can leave.”


	19. Chapter 19

Kellogg noticed Nate’s demeanor change as they followed a route they’d never taken before - it was faster to the relay location this way. They had been traveling for four days and were almost there.

Passing through a field of widespread houses, Nathan stopped in front of one. A farm style looking homestead, just like the others. “My old house,” he revealed, gesturing weakly. “Wonder if…”

Kellogg felt something heavy settle in his gut, and he reached out to grab Nathan’s arm. “You sure that’s—“

Nathan spun around and shoved him as soon as he was caught, but stepped back just as quickly. “Sorry. Old habit. Working the streets you had to be aggressive with the ‘no touching’ or… Well, people just take what they want. We won’t be long here, okay?”

Kellogg glanced at the house, then reluctantly nodded. He followed Nathan down the driveway and through the front door, where the vaultie stopped, arms going limp and expression blank. Kellogg looked over his shoulder to see two skeletons sitting in overstuffed chairs, a bottle of whiskey on the small table between them.

Nathan huffed out a breath and stepped through the threshold, scraping his boots over the welcome mat. Kellogg chalked it up to being another habit. “When I left this place for good, I never thought the next time I would see my folks would be like this.”

“You doin’ all right?” Kellogg asked, the question coming out without much thought.

“Fine. Was hoping they’d be dead anyway.” He shot Kellogg a smart ass smile, but something was guarded in his expression. “Wanna see my old room? C’mon.”

They jogged up the stairs, the wood creaking under their weight, and down the corridor to a small bedroom. It seemed untouched, the bed neatly made and any belongings that were left behind on shelves.

“Ain’t how I left it,” Nathan mentioned, and as he walked his shoes made footprints in the dust. “I fuckin’ wrecked this place…” He took a baseball bat from the corner. “With this, too.”

Kellogg picked up a framed picture on the desk of a 10 year old Nathan with both his mother and father, dressed in a flannel shirt and bowtie.

“Whatcha got?” Nathan asked, coming up from behind him still holding the bat. “Ah. Right. See that splotch right there on my cheek? My old man slapped me 5 minutes before this was taken. Couldn’t go as hard as usual, would be too noticeable. He was a professional.”

“Nathan…” Kellogg didn’t even know what he wanted to say. Just... something.

“Let’s go. Nothin’ else to check out.”

Kellogg held his eyes for a moment, then nodded. Nathan gave him a friendly pat on his bicep and led the way back down the stairs. But instead of heading for the door, he stood in front of what remained of his parents.

“Been wanting to do this for a long time,” he told his father's skeleton, then lifted the bat over his shoulder and swung forward, hitting his father’s skull right off its neck so it shattered against the wall. Nathan’s arms went limp for a moment, grip loose on the bat. Then he swung at the ribcage, again and again until the bones were in pieces.

“Nathan,” Kellogg repeated, but he didn’t even seem to remember he was there anymore. Kellogg came up behind him and grabbed his wrist when he swung the bat back, wrenching it from Nathan’s grip before trapping his arms to his sides.

“Let go of me!” he growled viciously. “Let go! Let go…” The demands trailed into crying, and Kellogg fell to the floor with him. He kept his arms around Nathan, stilling his body from sobs that would have been jolting. Kellogg soothed his thumb over Nathan’s bicep in soft circles, feeling like it was all he could do. Seeing Nathan like this tore at him in a way nothing’s been able to do for years. It gripped coldly at his heart, tightened his chest around it and stuffed a lump into his throat.

For minutes Nathan cried, trying to escape Kellogg now and again to try and break for the bat, surging movements that jerked both of them, but Kellogg kept his arms around him. When he finally calmed down Kellogg loosened his hold and rested his cheek against the vaultie’s hair, slowly and subtly nodding to feel the soft strands caress his skin. He let Nathan lean his weight against him, his back half on his chest.

“I had a chance to save ‘er,” Nathan spoke after a long while of silence. His voice was raw, quiet. “My mom. Navarra could add one more person with us, long as it was a family member. Something to do with the vault’s set up. But I didn’t. To get back for all the times she didn’t save me.” He turned his head up to look at Kellogg. “Does that make me a horrible person?”

“Nah,” he thrummed, staring at the woman's skeleton. “Makes you even.”

Nathan huffed out a laugh. “Lettin’ my mother die, breaking my old man’s bones. You’d think it’d make me feel better. But I just feel…”

“Empty.”

He nodded.

“Revenge does that. You’re so filled with rage and sadness you feel like your body’s gonna fly away with it. Then when you finally get yours and all that feeling’s gone, there’s nothing else left. It’s been replaced. Almost has you wishin’ for that anger back just to feel something.”

He heard Nathan swallow, then the vaultie turned his head again and placed a lingering kiss on his shoulder. Kellogg’s lips brushed over Nathan’s head, hand coming up to rake through his hair as Nathan soothed his fingers over his neck. The gentleness of it all had warmth settling inside Kellogg, clouding in his chest and churning in his gut. He sighed heavily, and Nathan rested his head against his shoulder. 

They stayed like that for what must have been half an hour before Nathan pushed away, and Kellogg eyed him warily. 

"I'm just standing up," he assured. "Wanna get out of here now." He grabbed the bottle of whiskey from the table and uncapped it, then raised it to his father's shattered bones. "Here's to you, you fucking bastard."


	20. Chapter 20

It took them just short of two more days to reach the build sight. By then, the relay was finished and ready to take Nate away.

“And Kellogg can’t come with me?” he repeated to Dez.

“I’m sorry, but this is a makeshift teleporter. We don’t want to take any more risk than we already are,” she responded. “Now listen to me.“

“Voice like yours? I’d love to.”

Dez stuttered, a smile twitching her lips. “Oh, that’s…” she cleared her throat. “Anyway, the Institute is a huge unknown. Before we make plans we need to do something. What I’m about to tell you in the most closely guarded secret the Railroad has. It’s time you learn about Patriot. There’s a man, or woman we’re not sure, inside the Institute who helps synths escape to freedom. Dozens of synths owe him their lives. We don’t know his name, we never had a way to contact him. So we gave him the codename ‘Patriot’. If your plan works and you’re able to get inside the Institute, we need you to make contact.”

“Okay,” Nate nodded. “I’ll do my best.”

“Tom’s encrypted a message for Patriot’s eyes only. Once he sees it, he’ll contact you. Until you make contact, and probably after, you need to stay in their good graces. You need to infiltrate them. Can you do that?"

He smiled. “Bring it on.”

“You can do this,” Dez encouraged. “I believe in you. Stand on the platform and I’ll give you the holotape. Just plug it in to any Institute terminal and wait for the reply. Tom, talk to me.”

“Loading up the scan sequence. This frequency is only going to work once. You know who doesn’t make the same mistake twice.”

Nate looked at Kellogg. “Here goes.”

“Yeah,” he said lowly.

“Any reassuring words would be great.”

“You… probably won’t die.”

“If there’s anything more motivating than that, I don’t know what it is.” He turned away and stepped onto the teleporter.

“So stand still!” Tinker instructed. “I gotta lock in on all those molecules of yours! Hopefully we won’t miss any of ‘em, there’s only, you know, 60 trillion of them! All right, feeding our baby some juice! Let’s see what she’s got!”

Desdemona gave him a holotape. “Take this. You need it to contact Patriot.”

A tube on the side of the relay burst and started whipping as air steamed out. “Ah man! Uh, don’t worry!” Tinker said. “Th-That’s all part of the plan!”

Desdemona shouted over the sound of rushing air and zaps of electricity. “Do whatever you can to gain their trust! Lie! Tell them what they wanna hear! Make up a cover story and sell it!”

“Come on, I think I got it! Establishing lock on the Institute’s signal! And… we got it!”

Nate was hit with a blue streak of electric light and his vision flashed white.

“Find a way to save them,” Desdemona’s voice said. “Nobody else can.”  
 

* * *

   
“Shit!” Tinker cursed, flinching when the relay burnt itself out and blew up.

“Tom?” Desdemona breathed, eyes wide.

“Uh… no worries!” he told her, not sounding very convincing. “He just dematerialized in time. No big deal.”

Kellogg nodded. _Light got ‘im. He’s through._ “I’ll see you guys later.”

“You’re welcome to come back and wait,” Desdemona offered.

 _Lady, you have no idea how bad of a decision that is._ “No thanks. I got shit I need to do.”

 

As soon as he was far enough, he activated the courser chip in his pip device that he'd been hiding in his pocket and relayed out.

 

  
Kellogg found Father as soon as he was inside.

“Ah, Kellogg,” the old man greeted as he turned to face him, and right then it hit Kellogg that Shaun must’ve gotten his mother’s eyes. “Well done.”

“Sir, before you meet him,” Kellogg started, “I’m gonna warn you, he won't take a surprise like this very well.”

“Oh? Don’t worry. I’ll handle this as delicately as I can. I’ve had time to plan this through. I assume he still doesn’t know your roll?”

“No sir.”

“Then you may stay here.”

“Adding another surprise like this is gonna freak him out. Maybe we should just keep my involvement a secret?”

Father’s brows furrowed in surprised confusion. “… No, I don’t think that’s wise. I don’t wish to hide things from him.” Nathan appeared on the security cam in front of the elevator, and Father turned towards it to speak into the intercom.

“Tell him to leave his weapons up there,” Kellogg blurted before the old man could speak. “He’s got a temper.”

“… Hello. I wondered if you might make it here. You’re quite resourceful. I’m know as Father. The Institute is under my guidance. I know why you’re here. I’d like to discuss things with you face to face. Please, leave your weapons on the table and step into the elevator.”

Nathan’s mouth moved, and Kellogg took an educated guess that he was probably saying,  _fuck that_.

“We mean you no harm. I simply wish to speak with you. Please. Your weapons.”

After a moment of hesitation, Nathan removed both his Jericho and his backup 10mm pistol, then stepped into the elevator that Father opened with a switch.

“I can only imagine what you’ve heard,” Father continued. “What you think of us. I’d like to show you that you may have the wrong impression… Welcome to the Institute. This is the reality of the Institute. This place, these people, the work we do. For over a hundred years we’ve dedicated ourselves to humanity’s survival. Decades of research. Countless experiments and trials. A shared vision of how science can help shape the future. It has never been easy. And our actions are often misinterpreted by those above ground. Some day perhaps we can show them what we’ve accomplished. But for now, we must remain underground.”

The elevator stopped and Nathan made his way down a hallway to step into another one.

“There’s too much at stake here to risk it all. As you’ve seen, things above are… unstable. I’d like to talk to you about what we can do for everyone… But that can wait.”

The elevator stopped. “You are here for a specific… very personal reason. You are here…”

The doors opened, and Nathan stepped out to see the synthetic boy inside a glass-walled room. “For your son.”

_Give 'im points for dramatic presentation._

The room Nathan was now in had speakers on the wall, so his voice could now be heard. “Shaun?” he questioned, slowly approaching.

The kid stood up to face him. “Huh? Yes, I’m Shaun. Who are you?”

“Shaun it’s me! I…” his words caught in his throat. “I’m your… dad.”

“Father? What’s going on?” Shaun called. “What’s happening?”

“It’ll be okay,” Nathan assured. “I’m gonna get you out.”

“Father help me! There’s someone here, help me!”

“Strange,” Father mumbled, then powered down the cameras. “Come, Kellogg.”

Kellogg screwed his eyes shut, then followed the old man out into the room Nathan was in. Their eyes met immediately, and the shock that flashed in the deep, tear shined green of Nathan’s almost made Kellogg wince.

“Shaun,” Father said, clearly and sternly. “S9-23 recall code Cirrus.”

Shaun’s body went limp, but Nathan only glanced at him before looking right back at Kellogg.

“Fascinating, but disappointing,” Father commented as Nathan slowly made his way towards them. “The child’s responses were not at all what I anticipated. He’s a prototype, you understand. We’re only just now beginning to explore the effects of extreme emotional stimuli.” He finally acknowledged his eye contact with Kellogg. “You already know Kellogg, of course. He’s an asset of ours. I assigned him to assist you after you were released from the Vault.”

“No,” Nathan said, taking a step back. “You gotta be fucking with me.”

“Just relax, Nathan,” Kellogg told him, immediately knowing that it was the wrong thing to say.

“Relax?” he exclaimed. “Did you really just say that? You’ve just been…” He turned sharply on his heels and roughly raked his fingers through the roots of his hair. “This isn’t fuckin’ happening.”

“Please, try to keep an open mind,” Father said. “I recognize that you are…” he gestured to Nathan, “emotional. And that your journey here has been fraught with challenges. Let’s start anew…” He paused for a moment, thinking. “I am Father. Welcome to the Institute.”

“This is insane,” Nathan blurted. “All of it!”

“The degree of trauma you’re experiencing right now is understandable. Please, just try to relax. I know this is--”

“Did you not learn from a few seconds ago that telling me to relax does absolute shit?”

“I will excuse your vulgar language, given the circumstances. But I need you to realize that this… situation is far more complicated than you could’ve imagined. You have traveled very far and suffered a great deal to find your son. Well… your tenacity and dedication have been rewarded. It’s good to finally meet you, after all this time…” He put a hand on his chest. “It’s me. I am Shaun. I am…” the same hand gestured to Nathan, “your son.”

Nathan looked like he’d been slapped in the face. He stared at him for a long moment, then his expression softened. “… I’d call bullshit, but… you’ve got her eyes… Your mom’s eyes.”

Father offered a smile. “In the Vault, you had no concept of the passage of time. You were released from your pod and went searching for the son… you’d lost. But then you learn that your son was no longer an infant, but a ten year old boy. You believed that 10 years had passed. Is it really so hard to accept that it was not 10, but 60 years? That is the reality. And here I am. Raised by the Institute. And now, its leader.”

Kellogg’s eyes fluttered closed at the look on Nathan’s face. _Ah, hell, here we go._

“Let me get this crystal fuckin’ clear. You were stolen from your mother’s arms by the Institute, and now you’re leading it. So Claudette worked for you?”

“Yes, she—“

“You didn’t kill her as soon as you got the chance? She murdered your mother.”

“I am not a killer,” Father said pointedly. “She was an Institute asset long before I arrived here. It wasn’t until I became Director that I learned of all the things he’d done. What kind of woman she was. I won’t lie… it’s no coincidence your path crossed hers. It seemed a fitting way to allow you… us, to have some amount of revenge.”

Nathan sighed, linking his fingers together on top of his head and slowly spinning around on his heels. “Fuck.”

“Please, that language is unnecessary—“

“You’re an adult, right? Plus If you can handle a murderer stalkin’ around your place, you can handle a few swear words. And I’m trusting the kid in the room can’t hear us.” He took in a deep breath, calming himself down. He hadn’t looked back at Kellogg since Father introduced himself, and it was making him more uneasy than staring daggers into him would have.

“Why’d they take you?” Nathan finally asked.

Father raised a finger. “Ah, now that’s the question, isn’t it. Why me. At that time, the year 2227, the Institute had made great strides in synth production. But it was never enough. Scientific curiosity and the goal of perfection drove them ever onward. What they wanted was the perfect machine. So they followed the best example thus far. The Human Being. Walking, talking, fully articulate. Capable of anything.”

“I think I see where this is going,” Nathan mumbled.

“Then perhaps you already understand why it was necessary for the Institute to acquire me. The Institute endeavored to create synthetic organics. The most logical starting point of course was human DNA. Plenty of that was available of course, but it had all become corrupted. In this… Wasteland, radiation affected everyone. Even in their attempts to shield themselves from the world above, members of the Institute had been exposed. Another source was necessary. But then the Institute found me, after discovering records from Vault 111. An infant frozen in time, protected from the radiation induced mutations that had crept into every other human cell in the Commonwealth. I was exactly what they needed. And so it was my DNA that became the basis of the synthetic organics used to create every human-like synth you see today. I am their father. Through science we are family. The synths, me…” he gestured to Nathan, “and you.”

“Shaun…” Nathan whispered. “It’s really you.”

“It really is.”

After a silent moment, he huffed out a laugh. “At least this means I don’t get a chance to mess you up with shit parenting. Though I can’t say you ended up any better, since you run the fucking _Institute_.”

“I know what you must have heard. But the Institute… it’s important. It really is humanity’s best hope for the future. No matter what those above ground might think of us.”

“They’re scared of you, Shaun,” Nathan stressed, sounding more like a parent now, and it caught Kellogg by surprise. “Scared of the Institute. You’re the boogeyman to them.”

“People are always frightened by what they don’t understand. Ultimately the Commonwealth has nothing to fear from us, whatever you’ve seen or heard. I know I can convince you of that. Just… give me time. The Institute is on the verge of some important breakthroughs. Your presence would be appreciated as we approach them. I’ve been a part of something amazing here. I’ve helped to build a life for myself and the people of the Institute. And now after all these years you have an opportunity to help with that. Doesn’t that intrigue you? Isn’t that what you want?”

“You want me to stay here?” Nathan asked in slight disbelief. “In the Institute.”

“Yes. That is what I propose. Is it so hard to imagine? the Institute can provide a better life than anything above ground. You’ve been in the Commonwealth. You’ve seen what it’s like. I assure you that you are better off with us.”

“You guys have done some fucked up things.”

“And you claim to be innocent yourself?”

Despite it all, a slow smile spread on Nathan’s face. “Quick with the shots back. Just like your old man.”

Shaun gave a small smile in return. “None have any true claim to nobility in this world. Those days are gone. But we are not the monsters we have been cast as. I simply ask that you give the Institute, me, a chance. A chance to show you what I’ve been telling you. We really do have humanity’s best interest at heart. Will you take that chance?”

Nathan was quiet for a long moment, then his solemn answer echoed around them. “All right.”

“Thank you,” Shaun breathed. “The Institute is now your home as much as it is mine. Please, take some time, get to know it. Meet the people you’ll been working with. You’ll want to introduce yourself to the Division heads. Doctor Filmore in Facilities, Doctor Ayo in SRB, and Doctor Holdren in BioScience. And finally Doctor Li in Advanced Systems. They’ve all been notified of your arrival of course. Meet them, and then we’ll discuss what comes next. Kellogg will show you your way. I trust that you two have something to discuss anyhow.”

As soon as the door slid behind Father, Kellogg took a step forward and reached out. “Nathan—“

Nathan shoved his shoulder back. “No, you don’t fuckin’ touch me,” he snarled, and it felt like a slap in the face. “All this time you’ve been working for them? How do I know you’re not the same as Claudette? I fuckin’ trusted you, and you’ve been lying to me the entire fucking time!”

“Just hear me out—“ he took a step closer, effectively getting Nathan to step back.

“Nah, nah, nah, you don’t get to do that. I can’t even fuckin' believe this, you just…”

“I was doing my job.” Another wrong thing to say, and Kellogg knew it.

“Your job, huh? Was it your job to fuck me, too? Or was that just a bonus you took for yourself.”

“It ain’t like that.“

“No? You fucked me, kept on fucking me, feeling absolutely fine keepin’ this from me? Which is a pretty big fucking deal, by the way. I could’ve found out all this sooner, you knew where my son was the whole fucking time and you didn’t…” He closed his eyes and ran his hands over his face, muffling a groan of frustration.

“I’m sorry, all right?”

“I don’t want a fucking apology.”

“Then what do you want?”

“I want the truth, but that ship’s sailed. Whatever, I’m done talking.”

Kellogg followed him out of the room. “I gotta show you around. Old man’s orders.”

“No, I don’t want you tailin’ me ever again. Whatever we had, it’s done. You can fuck right off.” He strode out of the room.

Kellogg felt sick. Having his partnership with Nathan ripped away left him dizzy, uncertain and lost. Cold. He started pacing.

_What did you expect? That he'd just brush this off?_

_Thought he'd at least understand I was just doin' my job._

_You realize how pathetic that excuse is, right?_

_Shut up._

_You gotta do somethin'._

_I ain't gotta do shit._

_You're just gonna move on with your life? You know how fucking reckless he is. He'll get himself killed out there._

_Good riddance._

_You don't mean that._

_I wish I did. Would make this so much fuckin' easier._


	21. Chapter 21

Nathan breezed through meeting the Division heads, not giving a single shit about what they had to say. But he acted like he did, because through every thought swarming in his head, through the anger and confusion and hurt, rang Desdemona’s words.

_“Do whatever you can to gain their trust. Lie. Tell them what they wanna hear.”_

So, he lied. Told them he planned to stay, to embrace the so-called utopia, and he’d keep this up for as long as it took. Nate was good at repressing, blocking things out when he needed to. So he’d partition his hostility towards the Institute for now.

But what he discovered about Kellogg… His anger towards that managed to leak through. It would have been so simple to tell him that he was a part of the Institute. Nathan would get it. 

Probably.

Then again, he understood Kellogg’s caution. And he really had no right to be this angry, considering how long he had lied to his own wife.

_No, he doesn’t fuckin’ deserve my understanding. He’s a dick._

The last person to meet was the Railroad contact inside the maintenance room. Patriot ended up being a young man who just wanted to help out. He was a bit starry-eyed, hearing that he had a code name and had helped the Railroad out more than he thought. Then he led Nate to a synth working on one of the grassy sections, insisting he knew how to free more synths.

“Sir, do you require something?” the synth asked.

“It’s okay, Z1,” Liam assured. “He’s a friend. He’s with the Railroad.”

_Ain't actually with 'em. Just helping out._

“Meeting here is dangerous. And you bring a stranger? You. How do I know we can trust you.”

Nate stayed in front of Liam so it appeared as though he was talking to him. Z1-14 kept facing the grass, but his eyes were on Nate. “Because the members of the Railroad have dedicated their lives to help you guys.”

The synth’s expression softened. “I… I thought only Mr. Binet cared. But your friends actually fight for us?”

“That’s what the Railroad does, Z1,” Liam said.

“I’ve never met another human willing to help. But, sir, we must make this quick.”

“Right now. How many synths wanna escape, Z1?”

“The ones I know for certain? 13.”

“That’ll take forever… Let’s free those 13 all in one go.”

“I would do anything for my people. But… how do we get them to the teleporter? It’s no good. The old maintenance tunnels that lead there are always sealed by the SRB.”

Liam thought for a moment. “If I can find a way to open those doors, could you get your synths to the teleporter room?”

“Yes. We’ll talk later. Someplace more secure.” With that, Z1 left and Nate sat down next to Liam.

“Just a few high security doors, right?” Liam said dryly. “Controlled by cutting-edge SRB security tech. Yeah. A head-on hack is the sucker play. So we go at them sideways. You’re willing to help, right? I can’t do this alone.”

Nate gave him a smile. “‘Course, man.”

“Our core security architecture hasn’t fundamentally changed from the old CIT days. The original security program was called ‘Code Defender’. Revolutionary stuff. We still have terminals running version 1 mothballed in storage. With some persuasion, I can get an old terminal to interface with the new security terminals. Enough to open doors at least. Problem is, I can’t even crack version 1. So I need a good ol’ fashioned username and password, and that’s nowhere to be found in the Institute. But if you can get me a prewar admin password from the surface, I could log right in.”

“I’ll find it for you,” Nate agreed.

“That’s great! Unfortunately, the obvious place to look won’t work. The CIT ruins were picked clean years ago. But some of the admins had to live off campus. Ask your friends in the Railroad. I need those log-in credentials.”

Nate nodded. “All right. I’ll see you again soon. Oh, before I go…” he lowered his voice, “Where can I find Dr. Virgil’s old lab?”

Questions flashed in Liam’s eyes, but he gave him a simple answer. “Through one of the back rooms in BioScience and down a hallway. The door’s locked, but it should be easy to pick. Be careful, okay? No doubt security’s been turned on in there. Lot of sensitive projects went down inside.”

Nate nodded, glancing away for a moment, then looked back to Liam. “Anyone know about what you do?”

Liam seemed hesitant, then nodded himself. “Kellogg. Though he pretends he doesn’t know. We got sort of a deal going. He keeps this a secret, I keep quiet about him still being in contact with one of our rogues.”

Nate sat down. “… So, what’s your opinion of ‘im? Kellogg.” 

“He’s okay, I guess. Doesn’t really talk to anyone. Only reason he got close with that rogue was ‘cause she wouldn’t leave him alone.”

“What does he do for the Institute?”

“He’s one of the main operators for things topside. Claudette was one, too, but you took care of her.”

“Is he anything like her?”

“God no. I mean, they were both jacked with tech, but Kellogg wasn’t nearly as cruel. Sure, the guy’s done some horrible things, but that’s because he was told to.”

“You sound like a real advocate for ‘im.”

“Any friend of Mae’s is okay with me. Always trusted her judgement. Well, almost always. Anyway, I have to report back. See you around.”

Nate flashed him a smile, and he remained seated for a couple of minutes before standing. Then Kellogg appeared, walking in easy strides and not stopping as he shoved a vial against Nate’s chest.

“Virgil’s serum,” he told him simply as he walked away. Surprisingly, Liam joined his side, speaking as he leaned close. Kellogg nodded, and they turned to head towards the living quarters.

Nate looked down at the vial in his hand with furrowed brows. _Why’d he…? Whatever. Guess it saves me a trip. Should probably check back with the old man._  


 

“Now that you’ve had a chance to see the Institute firsthand… what do you think?” Shaun asked when Nate returned.

Desdemona’s voice echoed in his mind. _Tell them what they wanna hear._

“You’ve got technology here that I never dreamed possible,” he said with a smile. “It’s incredible.”

“I’m glad you could appreciate what we’ve accomplished. None of it has been easy. Ultimately all our knowledge and resources are focused on a single goal. The goal is best summarized by our motto: Mankind redefined. Unfortunately no advancement comes without occasional setbacks. As remarkable as our synths are, they can be… dangerous without proper supervision. The superior synth mind and body attempting to wrestle with something approaching free will… can be a recipe for chaos.”

“If the synths are intelligent and self aware, then they have a right to free will.”

“However closely they may approximate human behavior, they are still… our creations. When you see what I have to show you, I think you’ll agree that we know what is best for our synths. A rogue synth has taken over a raider gang at Libertalia. His memories have been erased, and his identity altered. He believes he’s a man named Gabriel. Under his leadership, the raiders have taken many innocent lives. I’m going to dispatch a Courser to Libertalia, and I’d like you to join him in reclaiming that synth, whenever you're ready.”

 _Courser, huh. Fuck._ “Sure. We’ll bring him home.” He made sure to use a pronoun, and he saw Father’s brows twitch.

“That would be best. I know you’ve been through a lot, so I’ve had quarters prepared for you. You deserve to rest somewhere clean and safe.”

“Thanks, Shaun.”

“You’re welcome. There’s also fresh towels and clean clothes. If you need anything, just ask one of our workers.”


	22. Chapter 22

Kellogg paced silently outside of Nathan’s quarters for minutes before finally sliding the door open, slow and unsure. Almost shy.

Nathan was sitting at his desk, hair wet from a recent shower, legs propped up and a cigarette between his fingers. “What,” he asked curtly, and Kellogg leaned against the doorframe.

“Don’t know what you want from me,” he said quietly.

“Wanted you to be truthful with me.”

“I can’t take it back.”

“No? The Institute doesn’t have a time machine, too? That would be fucking handy, huh?”

He huffed out a laugh. “Would’ve used it a long fuckin’ time ago if they did.” He glanced up from staring at the floor, head still cast down, and Nathan blew out a stream of smoke.

“… Get in here,” he told him gently, and Kellogg stepped into the room, closing the door behind him. “I wanna know I can trust you, Kellogg. I need to know who’s side you’re on.”

“Your side,” he answered almost automatically, and he meant it.

“What if I said I wanted to blow this place sky high?”

“I’d say some of these bastards would get what they have comin’ to ‘em.”

Nathan’s brows shot up and a smile tugged at the corner of his lips. “Yeah? If you hold such a low opinion of them, why you working for ‘em?”

“‘Cause working on the inside is better than them sending Coursers after me for planting my nose in their shit. Whole reason I took the job. After a while, it just kinda… I dunno.”

Nathan stared at him for a moment, then stood up, crushing his cigarette in the ashtray. “Are you drunk?”

His brows furrowed. “No, why?”

“You usually never talk about this stuff unless you’re drunk.”

He shrugged. “You want me to be truthful, right?”

“And what, you thought before now that I wanted lies? Why’s it so important to you now?”

“… Don’t want you to kick me to the curb.”

“Why, so you can keep fucking me?”

“What? No! Christ, I just…” He huffed out a breath through his nose as Nathan took a stance in front of him. He held his gaze, hoping his eyes would show what he couldn’t find the words for. Nathan stepped closer and gripped the back of his neck, and Kellogg knew what he was going to do. His hand twitched to lash out and stop him, but instead he let himself be tugged down.

Their lips met and Nathan surged back in surprise almost instantly, like Kellogg had been the one to spring it on him and startled him. The vaultie brushed his fingertips over his lips, staring at Kellogg with wide eyes. He simply cocked a brow in return.

Nathan’s hand fell to his side, and Kellogg stayed still as he stepped forward again. He repeated the same action, gripping the back of Kellogg’s neck, but this time he guided him closer, didn’t tug. His lips simply ghosted over Kellogg’s at first, and his thumb drew slow circles over the nape of his neck. He pulled back, and Kellogg’s eyes flicked down to the vaultie’s mouth. He leaned forward and finally closed the space between them.

Kellogg didn’t know why he was so against kissing before - maybe because Sarah was the last one to have her lips on his. Maybe some subconscious part of him thought that lingering trace of her would be erased. If that was the case, he didn't mind that it was Nathan who cleared the slate. His lips were soft and full, felt so right against his, just like his body under his hands. Warm and firm, hard lines of muscle that Kellogg could trace with his fingertips. There was no soft pliancy that had him fearing the use of his own strength. Nathan could take everything he gave him.

Kellogg licked passed his lips and dove into him, bookending his face as he backed him against the desk. Nathan pushed the operative’s jacket off his shoulders and Kellogg tugged the sleeves off before they both went for Nathan’s shirt. Once it was over his head Kellogg gripped the back of his thighs and pushed him fully onto the desk before moving one hand to brace it beside him, the other keeping one of Nathan’s thighs pinned to his side as he thrust against him.

Nathan moved with him, arms wound tightly around his neck as they ground against each other, lips never leaving each other for longer than a quick pant for air.

“Ah, _fuck_ ,” Nathan breathed, voice watery. “Bed. _Bed_.”

Kellogg grunted impatiently and gripped the waistband of Nathan’s jeans to tug him over to the bed. After taking off his undershirt he fell on top of him and they took off their pants clumsily, too focused on the feel of their tongues against each other like velvet to undress efficiently. Nathan rolled Kellogg off and flashed him a wicked smile before sliding down his body and taking him into his mouth, slicking his cock with saliva. Kellogg watched him with hooded eyes and a hand in his hair, petting and gripping.

When Nathan was satisfied with his work he climbed back up Kellogg’s body and kissed him again. Kellogg rolled them over, but Nathan stopped him when he grabbed his hips to flip him.

“This way,” Nathan panted. “This way. Wanna be able to…” His eyes darted to Kellogg’s lips.

“Yeah,” Kellogg said lowly before closing the space between them again. He lined himself up and Nathan wrapped his arms around his neck as he slid inside.

“Kellogg,” Nathan breathed against his lips when he rolled his hips. “Like that, just like that.”

“Conrad,” he corrected. “Tonight it’s Conrad.”

Nathan met his eyes. “… Conrad.”

He clung to Kellogg as he fucked him slowly, breathing his name every moment their lips parted. Hearing Nathan say his name, it felt like a part of him was being restored. Like he could really be the man he was before his life turned to shit.

“Nathan,” he rasped, urging one of the vaultie’s legs up and pinning it to his side, allowing for deeper thrusts. Nathan cradled his head against his shoulder and arched against him as he came. Kellogg snaked his arms under his back to hold him close as he followed him off the edge.

 

* * *

 

"You have any siblings?” Nate asked, continuing a line of mundane questions that had started nearly half an hour ago.

“Nah,” Kellogg answered simply, eyes to the ceiling. “You?”

“Nah. Think things would’ve been easier if I had a brother to live up to my dad’s standards, or a sister he’d be too busy trying to protect to focus on how much of a disappointment I was. Pets?”

“My mom got me a dog but the old man kicked it out.”

“Do you ever miss her? Your mom.”

“Not really. Been a long time since I left home. If my dad didn’t kill ‘er after I left, she’d be dead now anyway after all the years that've passed.”

“You said you’re what, 36? Ain’t that long ago.”

“Did say that, didn’t I.”

He sighed, eyes fluttering closed. “How old are you really?”

“108. Institute tech’s kept me alive. But I got suited up when I was 36.”

Nate took a drag from his cigarette, processing what he’d just been told. _Ah, well._ “What about your other family? You miss them?”

“You mean my wife and daughter.”

 _So he did have a kid._ “Was avoiding the titles, but yeah.”

“I don’t think about ‘em anymore.”

“Wasn’t my question.”

He sighed. “… Yeah. I do.”

 _Progress._ “What was your wife’s name?”

“I don’t wanna talk about this, Nate.”

His heart jumped at the use of his nickname. “All right. Little steps, I guess. What’s the worst thing you’ve ever done?”

“ _That's_ a little step? You don’t wanna know.”

“Maybe not, but I think I need to know.”

Kellogg stayed quiet for a moment. “… After my family was killed, I sunk real low. Doesn’t justify what I did, but—”

“Just… tell me.”

“Killed a kid.”

Dread filled his gut. “… For the Institute?”

“No. Mercenary work. Guy paid well.”

"... How young."

"Close to a year."

“Christ.” Nate sat up, swinging his legs off the bed and planting his elbows on his knees. “… How’d you do it?”

“Clean shot to the head.”

“Did you regret it?”

“Not for a while. That point in my life, I didn’t even feel human. Sometimes I was surprised I still needed to eat and sleep.”

After a minute of silence, Nate tucked his legs back onto the bed and turned towards Kellogg. He hesitated for a moment, and when he spoke it was nearly a whisper. “How’d they die, Conrad?”

His eyes fluttered closed, and when they opened again Nate kept them locked on his. “Doesn’t matter how,” he said finally. “Matters is… I wasn’t there to stop it from happening. It was because of me that they got killed, me bein’ young and fucking stupid, thinking I could mess with people who had nothing out of their reach.”

Nate swallowed hard. “… That’s why I never got close to anyone, working for Navarra. Knew it would put them at risk.”

Kellogg breathed out a humorless laugh. “Yeah well, seems you were smarter than I was. Otherwise… I think we were the same. Wanted to give me wife and kid everything they wanted. Thought I could make them happy. Only thing I did was put them in an early grave. If Sarah hadn’t…” he trailed off and his face twisted, like saying her name hurt.

“S’okay,” Nate whispered, kneading Kellogg’s shoulder. “You don’t have to say any more. I appreciate you tellin’ me everything that you did.”

Kellogg nodded, keeping his eyes on Nate’s. “… Your turn. You gotta tell me something now.”

“What d’you wanna know?”

“What happened between you and the guy you keep in your pocket?”

The nausea hit him right away. He was about to snap at him, tell him it wasn’t his fucking business. But after everything he’d just spilled? That would be beyond the level of asshole that Nate was at.

“Name was Seb,” he started, and fuck he hadn’t spoken the name since that fateful night. “He worked with me for Navarra. A good guy, if a bit naive. Navarra found out he’d been working for another gang, giving out info about our operations. He didn’t know what a big deal it was, didn't know it was hurting people. He needed the extra cash. But Navarra didn’t care about his reasons, just wanted him gone. Had me kill ‘im.”

Kellogg’s eyes fluttered closed for a moment. “Must’ve been hard.”

“He begged me not to kill him. Got on his knees sobbed, told me he didn’t wanna die. His last word was my fuckin’ name. But if I let ‘im go Navarra would just send Sal after him. And Sal wouldn’t’ve given him the quick death that I did. I wanted to save him, I wanted to help. But no one can stop plans made by guys like Navarra. They got too many resources, too many loyals. Fuck, he was so young, Conrad. We both were.”

Kellogg sat up and soothed a hand over Nate’s cheek to cup the side of his head, thumb rubbing over his temple, and the touch did more good than anything he could’ve said aloud.

“Don’t leave tonight,” Nate told him, and Kellogg’s eyes darted between his as he thought.

“… All right. But I gotta sneak out in the morning. Don’t wanna be spotted walkin’ outta here." He glanced away, realization dawning in his expression. "Shit, almost forgot." He leaned over Nate and off the bed to dig into his pants pocket, then handed him a wrist strap with a thin glass screen. "Father wants you to have one. It's like a pip boy but less clunky."

"Yeah?" He took the device, and the screen lit up when he brushed his fingers over it. "Fancy."

"Only a few people have one."

"Do you?"

"Mhm."

"How come I've never seen it?"

"I've been hiding it in my pocket."

Nate lifted his eyes to glare at him, and Kellogg stared back, head cast slightly down. Nate sighed and strapped the device on to let it calibrate. "Man, you're lucky you're hot."

 

  
Nate found Kellogg in the atrium the next morning and told him about the tasks Father had given him.

“All right, we’ll leave in a sec,” Kellogg told him. “Just gotta pick something up. C’mon.”

Nate followed him back to the living quarters and up to Patriot’s room. 

“All set?” Kellogg asked him.

“Yeah, packs are stocked,” Liam responded, handing Kellogg three duffle bags. “Tell her I said hi.”

“Will do.” He nodded to Nate, and he followed him out of the room. “I gotta make a quick stop. Wanna come with?”

“Where to?”

“Need to resupply that friend of mine. She might like the Raider life, but she can’t live without Institute amenities. Well, she can, but she wouldn’t like it.”

Nate nodded. “Sure, I’ll go with you. Just put the coordinates into my pip... well, this thing.”

"Half right. It's a p.i.p device." He took Nate's wrist and woke up the screen.


	23. Chapter 23

“So which one’s Mae?” Nate questioned, looking around the amphitheater, and Kellogg gestured to a woman across the way, her back turned to them as she spoke to a small group. She was standing next to a man who she just barely reached shoulder height to.

“And who’s the walking tank?”

“Mason. Pack’s ‘alpha’.”

The raider boss said something to Mae that made her gape at him, and she did a poor job of concealing a smile as she coiled her leg back and gave the man’s ass a playful kick. Nate followed Kellogg close behind as he led the way through, and on their way they passed two raiders fucking like they weren't out in the open.

"Oh sure, 'cause that's just a thing that happens," Nate mumbled, and Kellogg spared him an amused glance.

“Connie,” Mae smiled when she turned around at the sound of their footsteps. Mason dismissed the Pack members they had been talking to.

“Connie,” Nate repeated. “Huh.”

“You must be Father’s old man.”

He cocked a brow. “What gave it away?”

“Talked to Conrad right before he was set off to meet you. Which, I’m assuming you know about. Come on, let's walk."

“Sure.” He glanced back at Mason, and the alpha shot him a wink. Nate flashed him a smirk before following Mae and Kellogg leisurely towards the gate.

“Watch it, handsome,” Mae warned lightheartedly. “Big guy’s mine.”

“No worries, gorgeous. I ain’t on the lookout right now.”

“How you feelin’ Mae?” Kellogg piped up, and the woman blinked at him.

“Oh! ‘Cause of my legs. Fine, all better.”

“You did what I told you?”

“To the letter. Almost to the letter.” She took the supplies from him and whistled to one of the raiders nearby. “Throw this in my room please?”

“You got it, princess.” He shouldered the packs and turned his attention to Nate. “Well hey there, pretty boy. Name’s Shorty.”

“Shorty,” he repeated. “Hope that’s not innuendo.” 

“Wanna fuck off with me to that corner over there? You can find out real fuckin’ quick. Promise you won’t be disappointed.”

“Or you can just fuck off alone,” Kellogg piped up, and both Mae and Shorty purred out a mocking growl in the back of their throats.

“All right, pretty boy’s off limits," Shorty accepted, putting his hands up in defense. "Got it. Sorry Connie.”

Mae exchanged a knowing glance with the raider before he walked off, then turned to Kellogg. “That was unlike you, Conrad.” She turned to Nate. “Are you two…?”

“Are we…?” Nate drawled, cocking a brow.

“Fucking?”

“Eloquently put.”

She nodded graciously. “I try.”

Nate and Mae both turned to Kellogg, and he sighed. “Yeah. We are.”

“You finally get laid and it’s with the old man's  _old man._ ”

“Well, you know me. I live for excitement.”

Her giggle partly overlapped the last word. “Oh yes, a regular thrill seeker.”

Nate watched her for a moment as she grinned at Kellogg. Mae was a special kind of beautiful - silken black hair, whiskey-colored eyes and thick lashes, delicate cheekbones, plump lips colored a rich purple framing brilliant teeth. A cropped tank top and shorts showed off her body.

“So,” she breathed, looking back at Nate. “What’s your opinion on your son?”

“He’s not my son. He’s some old guy who was corrupted by the bastards who took him. Far as I’m concerned, my son died along with my wife.”

“Gotta say, I’m relieved to hear that. He’s… Well, I’m not a fan. Did he invite you to stay?”

“Yeah, but it’s gonna be the end of him. I’m gonna destroy the fuckin’ place.”

She took in a subtle breath, glancing at Kellogg before turning her attention back to Nate. “That’s a shame. Wasting all the advanced medical equipment, research and advances, the conditions to grow fresh crops, the luxuries you can scarcely find out here and the means to create them. And the people in there who aren't half bad, losing everything if not their lives. All for the actions of a few people."

Nate closed his eyes for a moment, then glanced away. "Fuck. Well, I gotta do something. I can't just let them carry on like this."

"It might take some time, but you'll figure it out. You made it this far, so I have faith in you."

"Well I can't let a girl like you down, can I."

She smirked. "I don't think you could if you tried."

"Bringing two flirts together, what did I expect," Kellogg mumbled. "Let's get outta here before you two get into a banter competition."

Mae gestured to the gate and led them towards it. "Thanks again for the supplies, Connie."

“Let me take a guess,” Nate said. “You’re the only one who gets to call him that.”

“She doesn’t get to, she just does,” Kellogg said. “Like that annoying fucker over there.” He gestured to Shorty, and the Raider blew him a kiss.

Mae hummed a laugh, then made a come here motion to Kellogg, and the operative raked his fingers through the roots of her hair before cupping the back of her head and pulling her to his chest. Mae stood on her toes and rested her chin on his shoulder to whisper something into his ear.

The intimacy was a bit surprising to Nate, and the display had him turning his head away, feeling like he needed to give them privacy. His gaze landed on Mason, the alpha looking extremely annoyed. “Oh. Big guy does _not_ like that."

Kellogg's eyes darted to stare at Mason, and with twitching lips he leaned down further, kept doing so until Mae’s feet were swept from underneath her and she had to lash her legs out around his waist. “That did it,” he mumbled, mostly to himself.

“Should we bounce?” Nate asked as Mason strode towards them.

“Nah. He won’t do shit.”

“What are you guys talking about?” Mae asked as Kellogg straightened up, and his hands slid up her thighs before he lowered her back to her feet. She wasn’t left standing for long, however, because a moment later she was tossed over Mason’s shoulder.

“Always nice to see you, Kellogg,” the raider boss growled as he walked off towards the Backstage building. Mae pushed against Mason's back and craned her head up, and Nate waved goodbye until the doors closed behind her.

"Always gets jealous so fuckin' easily," Kellogg commented.

"So you like making 'im angry, huh?" Nate responded.

"It was more of doing Mae a favor than pissing Mason off. Well, it's a little bit of that, but. Whatever. C'mon, let's go.”

 

* * *

 

“Well,” Virgil sighed, trying to mask his relief, “I’m glad to see the relay didn’t completely vaporize you.”

“It did,” Nate said with a raised brow and a smile, “but I pulled myself together.”

Virgil breathed out a laugh. “I suppose you did. Do you have the serum?”

“Got it right here.”

“That’s it! That’s really it! Let’s see…” He held the vile under a light to examine it. “Retrovirus has matured nicely… Density gradient is high… Recombinant counter-intron sequences look stable… Transcription exon strands have formed…”

“So it’s… good?”

“Only one way to find out. All right… here we go.”

Nate winced when Virgil stuck the large syringe of the serum into his arm with a grunt.

“And now…” Virgil said quietly, flexing his hand, “we wait.”

“That’s it?” Nate questioned with a bit of disappointment.

“What did you expect? That I’d just transform right in front of you? It’s going to take time.”

“So… I guess I’ll check up on you in a while, then. See ya.”

Virgil blinked in surprise.”Uh… yeah. See you.”


	24. Chapter 24

Nate felt an odd familiarity when they entered Kellogg’s apartment around 4am, comfort settling over him as he shrugged off his jacket. He threaded his fingers together and rested his hands on the top of his head, huffing out a cheek-puffing breath. “Fuck,” he mumbled.

“Yeah,” Kellogg responded, flopping down onto the couch. “Fuck.”

Nate spun on his heels and fell back to slump next to him, head resting on Kellogg’s arm across the backrest. “So I guess I’ll tell Dez the truth?”

“If that’s what you wanna do.”

“She wants the Institute destroyed. I don’t think she’ll go for any other plan.”

“We don’t gotta tell ‘er right away. Take some time to feel things out.”

“I feel sick.” A few beats passed, then abruptly Kellogg tugged him closer with a grip to his hair, having Nate lean against him before his arm went right back to the backrest. Nate held back a grin and closed his eyes, relaxing for the first time in days.  
 

* * *

   
Kellogg was woken up by the sun streaming through the boarded windows above the couch, illuminating the dust hovering in the air. He didn’t remember laying them down, but Nate was right next to him, sleeping soundly on his stomach with an arm curled on Kellogg’s chest.

Kellogg crossed an arm under his head and stared at the ceiling, listening to Nathan’s slow and steady breathing. He’s been trying not to think about his feelings about him, but in the heavy silence he couldn’t help but do exactly that.

This moment, right now? the happiest he’s been in decades. Nathan had become a constant, something he couldn’t really see himself living without. This annoying smart ass tucked against him, trusting even after everything that he's found out, comfortable even with the knowledge of the worst things Kellogg had done.

Kellogg's found someone to be that light again, someone who could shove the dark parts of him so far away they couldn't be seen anymore.

Someone he could lose.

Nathan took in a breath next to him, deep and slow as he stretched. Kellogg sighed and the vaultie’s eyes fluttered open to look at him with a smile. “Hey you.”

He let Nathan kiss him, chaste and languid until the vaultie started to rouse further. He rolled on top of him and Kellogg sat up to help him yank off his shirt, then his own.

“Can you turn around for me?” Nate questioned, and Kellogg cocked a brow before doing as he said. He felt Nathan’s hands trail down the fading claw scars along his back. “Did you save me because I’m Shaun’s old man?”

“… Partly.”

“What was the other reason?”

“You fishin’ for compliments?”

“Maybe.”

“Just… didn’t want you to die, I guess.”

“Aw, shucks.”

Kellogg rolled his eyes and snatched Nathan’s wrist to tug him back beneath him, and the vaultie chuckled, his hand reaching up to cup Kellogg’s cheek. He brushed his thumb over the scar across his eye.

“How’d you get this one?” he asked, voice hushed.

His jaw clenched, and he answered simply, “Revenge.”

“Revenge on you?”

He shook his head, and Nathan pulled him down to kiss the dark line. Kellogg jerked away.

“S’wrong?” Nathan asked, sliding up with a worried expression creasing his face.

“I’m just… not used to this,” Kellogg answered, hoping he’d get what he meant.

“Affection?”

He just had to say it out loud. “Yeah.”

Nathan glanced away, nodded. “… All right. One step at a time. Anyway, I gotta take a shower. Wanna hop in with me?”  
 

* * *

   
Nate captured Kellogg in a kiss as soon as he was slammed against the tile wall, carving scratches into his back as the operative thrust into him, slow and powerful. Cold water rained down on them from the shower head, droplets catching on Nate’s eyelashes as they dripped from his hair. He locked his ankles together at the small of Kellogg’s back and held on as securely as he could to slippery skin.

“Name, pretty boy,” Kellogg thrummed against his ear.

“Kellogg,” he choked out, voice jumbled by a particularly hard thrust.

“Try again.”

His stomach fluttered. “Conrad,” he nearly whispered, and was rewarded by a roll of Kellogg’s hips. He wasn’t sure what was going on with them exactly, but Kellogg letting him say his real name had Nate feeling happier than it should have.

Kellogg licked at the droplets trickling down Nate's throat, nipped at the skin before moving to his lips. They simply brushed at first as Nate's body jolted from his thrusts, feeling each other's heavy breaths, then Kellogg held Nate's weight with one arm to cup his face and kiss him, all consuming and slow. They moved languidly, relaxed. Nate lost himself in it, could barely feel the water showering down on them.

Contentment settled warm inside him, and he smiled against Kellogg's lips.


	25. Chapter 25

“Thank God,” Dez breathed, tossing her cigarette.

“Woo!” Tinker howled. “See Dez? I told you it worked!”

“Funny. You didn’t sound so sure the other day. It is really, really good to see you. Did it work? Did you make it inside the Institute?”

“I, uh, met with the leader,” Nate informed. “And it turns out… he’s my son.”

Desdemona’s eyes widened. “But wasn’t he just a little boy?”

“After they took him from me, they froze me in cryo.”

“So instead of being on ice for a few years, it’s a few decades instead. The Institute’s really done a number on you. Besides meeting your boy, did you meet Patriot too?”

"I sent the message encrypted into the holotape, but no one answered," Nate lied.

Desdemona's brows furrowed. "That's strange... Maybe they're waiting to see if they can trust you?"

"That was my guess."

"Hmm... Stay in your son's good graces for now. Maybe Patriot will contact you when they deem it safe. They've always been the careful type."

"Sure, you got it."

"Before you go, I need your help. Ticonderoga safehouse has gone dark, and I need someone to check it out. I'd send a Heavy, but Glory's already handling a mission and the rest of the field agents were stationed at Ticon."

"You're makin' it seem like I work for you."

"Don't you?"

He smiled. "Nope. I don't work for anyone anymore. But I'll do this as a solid."

She stared at him carefully for a moment. "... You'll have to pick a side at some point. You know that, right?"

"I already have a side. My own side. And Kellogg's. See you later, Dez."  
 

* * *

   
A Courser greeted them on the top floor of Ticon.

“Your arrival was not in the mission briefing,” he monotoned. “This irregularity will be reported to Justin Ayo.”

"Ah, fuck off," Nate said tiredly. "I'm guessing you wiped the place out?"

"Correct. Currently maintaining surveillance and prepared to reclaim any synths they possess. Use the stairs to leave - the elevator has been disabled by the second unit.”

"Two of you. Great. Kellogg?"

His eyes darted along the floor as he thought, then he gestured to the stairs, and Nate took the lead. "I can't take on two Coursers plus a group of synths," the operative whispered. "Even with your help."

"So what d'we tell Dez?"

"Your call."

He spent the rest of the way to the exit thinking of what to do. "... We'll just tell 'er that they were gone when we got here. Coursers work fast, right?"  
 

* * *

  
"Dammit!" Desdemona huffed. "All hands lost? Even..." Nate offered a shrug, and she sighed heavily. "Regardless, thank you for going for us. Your help is appreciated."

"Better be," Nate mumbled lightheartedly. "We gotta go. See you around."

"Wait, Nathan. Just... don't forget what they've done. And don't forget what we're trying to do. Please."

"And what is it exactly that you're trying to do?'

"Do you need to ask? We help synths."

"And the rest of the Commonwealth? What about them?"

"There's enough people out to help their fellow humans. Escaped synths have no one."

"Sure. I get you," he assured as he backed away. "See you, Dez."  
 

 

Kellogg  spoke when they were inside the catacombs. "So what now?"

"Now we meet up with the Courser at Libertalia. I send the signal with my p.i.p, right?"

"Right."

"... How?"


	26. Chapter 26

Nate didn’t remember what had happened, but he must’ve fallen into the water because now it was spewing out of him, hot and stinging with the taste of brine. Kellogg was hovering over him, on his knees with frantic eyes, while the Courser they had met was calmly standing beside him with water dripping off of him, expression unreadable.

Nate tried to take in a desperate breath, but it only threw him into a coughing fit. His chest spasmed and his eyes watered. “What—“

“Shut up,” Kellogg told him. “Just… relax.”

He slumped onto his back again, heaving now. “Yeah… yeah…” He watched Kellogg, saw his jaw clench and then the man leaned down to duck his head against Nate’ shoulder, arms snaking under his back. Nate cradled the back of his head, thumb soothing over his stubbled hair. He eyed X6.

“You avoided a nuke by jumping into the water, sir,” he explained. “We suspect you were surged by the impact and hit your head on debris under the surface.”

“... Huh.” He heard Kellogg huff out a short breath. “Guessin’ by the quiet, you killed everyone?”

“Yes sir, there were only a few left. All that remains is collecting the synth.”

He nodded, took a deep breath, then patted Kellogg’s back. The operative stood and hauled Nate up by a grip to the front of his shirt. They traversed the walkways and swam the short distance to the main ship, then made their way to the deck where the synth was waiting. Nate used the recall code, and X6 relayed with it back to the Institute. Simple.

But as soon as they were alone Kellogg started pacing.

“We, uh,” he mumbled after a few moments of Nate silently waiting. “I think we should call this quits. Us traveling together.”

Nate’s heart trampolined into his throat so violently he felt like it would fall out of his mouth. Dread tightened the edges of his mind, the thought of not having Kellogg with him more devastating than he’d care to admit.

His go-to for any sort of emotional trouble was to get angry. “Yeah? Why, you bored of fucking me?”

Kellogg chuckled, a whispering rasp that made Nate want to shrink away. “Yeah, ‘cause that’s what this was all about.” His cruel smile faltered, and his jaw rippled. “... That’s exactly what this was about. But y’know what I just realized? You’re way more hassle than you’re worth.” He turned to Nate and advanced. “Always getting yourself into stupid fuckin’ trouble, actin’ like such a fuckin’ smart ass all the time. But I ain’t gotta deal with it, 'cause you’re not my job anymore.” He lifted his arm and activated his Courser chip. “See you ‘round, pretty boy.”

A flash of blue, and he was gone. Nate blinked at the space where Kellogg used to be. “What the everliving _fuck_ just happened.”  
 

* * *

  
 Kellogg continued his pacing inside his room, chewing up the floor with muddied boots still logged with salt water. Saying that to Nathan fucking hurt, it clawed at his chest, made him feel nauseous. But he had to stop this, had to make it seem like it never mattered in the first place. Like Nathan was only used to shake off the cobwebs, get him out of his dry spell. He couldn’t get any closer, couldn’t let him matter. Everyone that ever mattered to him ended up beaten down or dead.

_Too late, isn’t it. You were fuckin’ scared shitless when X6 pulled ‘im out. Not movin’, just…_

He rammed his elbow into the wall hard enough to break through it, focused on the faint pain shooting up his arm to scatter his thoughts.

_Can’t lose anyone else._

 

* * *

 

Nate couldn’t find Kellogg anywhere inside the Institute, and he looked everywhere. He was about to check Kellogg's bedroom for the second time when he was stopped.

“I’m glad to see you return safely,” Father greeted with a soft smile. “I know the task was difficult, but I needed you to see first hand how dangerous a rogue synth can be.”

“Yeah, telling me just wouldn’t have the same shock value.” He winced. “Sorry. I gotta roll back the sarcasm, I know.”

“It’s okay. It’s understandable, considering the stress you’ve been under. Please, go get some rest. Then I’d like to speak with you again.”

He nodded and strode off.

 

Anxiety was still swirling in Nate’s chest and his limbs hung heavy as he entered Kellogg's room. He felt cold without him - lonely, unsure, lost.

 _You don’t need him,_ the stubborn, angry side of him said as he sat down on the bed. _You don’t need anyone, not anymore. That side of you died with Nora._

 _But fuck, I_ want _him. Things were going so fuckin' well._

_Well he doesn't want you. Not anymore._

_Maybe he's got his reasons._

_Yeah, he's fuckin'_ bored _. You remember what that feels like, don't ya? To wanna drop a guy 'cause it ain't exciting anymore?_

_It isn't like that with him. Not for me._

_We ain't talkin' about you._

_We? I am you, asshole._

_Whatever. Point is, you were nothing but a good lay._

_That's not true._

_Yeah? You sure? 'Cause you two fucked an awful lot._

_Give the guy a break, it's been a while. Easy to go a little crazy after a dry spell like that. Besides, I fucked 'im right back and it was more than just sex for me._

_And doesn't that say a whole fuckin' lot._

Talking back and forth between himself started to hurt his head, so he hushed his mind and laid down.  
 

* * *

   
Kellogg froze, eyes widening at the sight of Nathan sleeping in his bed. An almost overwhelming urge to just lay down and tuck him against his chest hit him like a super mutant's hammer.

Maybe... just for a little while. He could be gentle, careful enough to not disturb him, then disappear before he woke up.

_You lay down, that plan will go out the fucking window. You won't be able to leave him again._

He had to practically pry his hand off the doorframe, part of him refusing to just throw what they had away.

_And what is it you have with him. Huh, Conrad?_

_... Nothin' anymore._

_You're goddamn right. Now leave._

He stepped out of the threshold, and it took all he had not to look back.

_It's for the best._


	27. Chapter 27

Two weeks went by without seeing even a glimpse of Kellogg, two weeks of doing mundane jobs so Nate could prove his loyalty. After speaking with almost everyone inside the Institute, he could agree with Mae that not everyone was a complete dick. Some of them were, like Ayo and Li and Higgs, but not everyone.

He didn’t do jobs alone, he took on X6-88 as new company. The Courser stayed quiet and indifferent at first, but the more time Nate spent with him, the more he revealed his personality. Nate guessed he acted the way he did only because it was expected of him. A ruthless killing machine with no feeling.

But X6 was more than that, and Nate did all he could to let the Courser know that it was all right to show it. He still had a monotone way about him, and his humor was on the dry side, but he was someone Nate could let grow on him.

  
   
Now, Nate was standing on the roof of C.I.T with a very upset Director. He had warned Dez of the ambush on Bunker Hill, and the plan was interrupted. But apparently it wasn’t enough for the old man to give up hope that his father was on their side.

“It’s time for you to become more involved in the future of the Institute,” Shaun told him, and Nate held in a sigh of relief. “I’d like you to join me inside. The Directorate is meeting and you should be there. I’ll be waiting.”

As soon as he was gone, Nate heaved out a heavy breath and laid down on the rooftop. He was glad he didn’t bring X6 for this one - he considered him a friend, but he wasn’t sure if the Courser would rat him out or not. He had plenty of backup anyway with the dozens of Railroad agents.

After a few minutes of letting the anxiety wash away, he relayed into the Institute to attend the meeting.  
   
 

“Good, we’re all here,” Father announced as Nate walked in.

“Should I have worn a suit?” he joked, sitting down between Holdren and Filmore.

“Sir, excuse me,” Doctor Ayo piped up, “what is he doing here?”

“I will address that issue. there are other subjects that require our attention first. The level of unrest in the Commonwealth continues to rise as we’re all aware. Your report?”

“All Institute facilities remain completely secure with the exception of one notable breach,” Filmore answered. “Otherwise, internally things are as tight as they’ve ever been. Doctor Ayo has been keeping an eye on things topside.”

Justin cleared his throat. “Yes, uh… Watchers show no additional threats beyond those previously identified. Boston International Airport remains occupied with Brotherhood presence noted at several other points throughout the Commonwealth. Intelligence suggests that this ‘Railroad’ continues to operate and is becoming more… ambitious. SRB agents are monitoring all known situations, sir.”

“Very good, thank you. It’s clear that our safety needs to be the primary concern going forward. To that end, where are we on Phase 3?”

“Uh, sir?” Doctor Li said quietly. “Are you sure this is the time to be discussing it? Given… well, considering all parties present?”

“Ah yes, that’s true. Have you heard anything about Phase 3?”

“I have no idea what that is,” Nate answered.

“I’ll admit I’m relieved. It’s intended to be something of a classified project, which I’m sure means… everyone already knows about it. Power is, as I’m sure you’ve seen above ground, a very valuable commodity. I’m not talking about some abstract concept of control, I mean real tangible power. The kind that keeps the lights on. With every advance the Institute makes, our need for raw power increases. Many compromises and sacrifices have been made over the years to allow progress to continue.”

“What kind of compromises?”

“We have at times had to rely on drawing power from above ground installations. It risks personnel and equipment. But no longer. Phase 3 is simply… the activation of a nuclear reactor that can provide enough power to the Institute now and forever. It will ensure not just our survival, but our prosperity.”

“Can you tell me more about it?”

“Certainly. It was originally built for the Commonwealth Institute of Technology before the War, but was only for testing. Over the years we’ve advanced the technology, made a great many improvements, and are finally nearly ready to activate it. The reactor is close to ready, but recent tests have determined we have a few tasks ahead of us. Thus we come to Phase 3. And to how you will help.”

“Sir.”

“Yes, Doctor Ayo. Previously we would rely on Kellogg for above ground operations, yes. Well… he is gone. while I am not overly fond of putting my own father in harm’s way, he has proven more than capable of handling himself.”

“Y-yes, but…”

Shaun looked at him sternly. “This is not a matter for debate. Now, there is one more subject that requires discussion.”

“I don’t know that this is the time…” Doctor Holdren mumbled.

“Doctor Holdren. It is time. Please. As I’m sure several of you are already aware, I have been under Dr. Volkert’s care for some time. I’m sorry, this is… difficult for me. Our best efforts have failed. Every experimental treatment we could devise has been unsuccessful. I’m… I’m sorry to say I am dying.” The other scientists gasped and voiced their disbelief. “Please, everyone, please! I am sorry. This is not how I wanted to tell you. But we’re running out of time.”

Nate should have felt sad, should have blurted out that this couldn’t have been happening, not after they had just found each other. But the only thing he felt was relief. If the old bastard was dying, he wouldn’t have to kill him himself.

“You’re dying?” he questioned, trying to sound choked up.

“I’m afraid so. A very aggressive form of cancer. Believe me when I say we’ve done everything we can. We can talk more later. Right now the future of the Institute is at stake. The Institute cannot survive without leadership. The Directorate must continue to govern with the best interest of all in mind. To that end, I am naming my father as my successor.”

“Oh… boy…” Clayton mumbled.

“You can’t be serious!” Ayo shouted. “How can you possibly justify this?! He isn’t one of us! He isn’t even a scientist!”

“Ignoring your borderline insubordinate tone, I will simply say this: the Institute has enough scientists. What it needs is a leader. I believe my father has already proven himself more than capable in that regard. This will conclude this meeting. Thank you.”

Nate stayed in his seat, staring blankly in slight disbelief before standing and sitting to a chair closer to his son. “I had no idea,” he mumbled.

“I know this is…” Shaun sighed. “Well, it’s a lot to take in at once. I’m sorry, father. I hope it wasn’t too presumptuous of me to put you in charge without even asking first.”

Nate didn’t think taking over the Institute would be placed right in his lap. “What would it mean to be in charge?”

“Most divisions of the Institute are fairly autonomous. perfectly capable of functioning without intervention. When those divisions interact however, problems can arise. You’d lead the Directorate in setting policy, resolving disputes and the like. There’s no question that some of the Directorate and the Institute at large will need reassurances about your appointment. That’s why I’d like you to take charge of this latest operation. Doctor Filmore can fill you in on the details. There are hard decisions ahead for all of us. But for you especially. I know that you’ll do… the right thing.”

Nate leaned back in his chair as soon as Father left the room, placing his hands on his head with his fingers laced together. He puffed out a breath as he gently rocked back and forth, a squeak sounding rhythmically underneath him.

_Maybe this’ll make things easier when I tell Dez I ain’t gonna destroy the place. She seems reasonable enough. So far._

He wondered if Kellogg knew. Probably not, considering the Directorate members weren’t even clued in.

_Get out of my fuckin’ thoughts, asshole._

A knock against the threshold, and he turned in his chair to see X6 in the doorway. “Hey, Six. Come on in.”

The Courser approached in easy strides. “I’ve been informed that you are now the incoming Director.”

“That’s right. I’m gonna be the big boss.” He gestured to the seat next to him, and X6 sat down.

“If you don’t mind me asking, sir, what do you plan on doing with this place? Before you say anything, I heard what happened at Bunker Hill, and I know what you did.”

Nate folded his arms over his chest and subtly swiveled in his chair. “You spyin’ on me?”

“No, sir, but I’ve been traveling with you long enough to know your views.”

“You gonna rat on me?”

“Of course not. But I suggest that you don’t pull something like that again.”

He paused for a moment. “… You know that talk we had, Six? About _feelings?_ ”

His lip curled in lighthearted disgust. “Yes sir.”

“You know you’re not the only synth with those magical and annoying biological functions. I’m not sure about the earlier gens, but the human-like synths are all like you. So I’m gonna treat them like it. The ones who wanna leave, I’ll give the okay. The ones who are comfortable here are free to stay. I know the Institute’s expanding, so we’ll use the space we cleared out to make quarters for them. Real living quarters. And we’ll tone down on playing God, maybe not go crazy on creating synth after synth.” He shrugged a shoulder. “That’s my plan anyway.”

“I can’t say that I entirely agree, sir,” X6 told him. “But I’ll trust your judgement.”

“Thanks, man.” He stood up, clasping the Courser on the shoulder as he passed. “I’m gonna talk to Allie then knock out. See ya tomorrow.”

“Good night, sir.”


	28. Chapter 28

"Why are you coming along again?" Nate asked, Filmore following him by his heels to the relay.

"Because you don't know how to handle tech like this, and you wouldn't even be able to recognize it if it fell on your head."

"Ah. Of course."

"Remember, reports say the Brotherhood of Steel know about the Agitator, so we shouldn't be surprised if we find them lurking around."

"Sure, sure. You ready?"

She sealed up her protective suit. "Ready. Let's go."  
 

   
Brotherhood were swarming inside the office they were teleported into, and Nate split the enemies with 6X while Allie ducked behind an overturned desk. 

"You're doin' great, Allie," he shouted over gunfire. "I'm glad you came along!"

"Well what do you want me to do!"

"I always thought you'd make a great meat shield!"

"He's joking, ma'am!" X6 clarified, taking down a power armored knight.

She stood when the firefight ceased. "Well his sense of humor is crummy."

"Well that sucks, considering it's pretty much all I have going for me, besides my pretty face." He shot her a game-show host grin, then jogged up the stairs to the room above. "There's nothing  up here."

"Then the Agitator must be somewhere else."

"I can see why they call you a genius."

"Sir, maybe tone it down?" X6 suggested. "She does have a gun. Despite her refusal to use it."

"Sorry, Allie," he offered, sounding like a kid that was told to apologize. 

"It's fine," she sighed, retrieving a key card from the overturned desk she had been hiding from. "I'll chalk it up to the amount of stress you're under. Now to the elevator, please."  
 

 

The entire journey to the reactor level, Allie took cover while Nate and X6 took care of the enemy. It was a bit annoying, but Nate couldn't really blame her. She had no combat experience - she was just doing what she needed to in order to survive. She seemed to grow a bit braver once they reached the Agitator's location, rushing carelessly into the massive lab.

"There it is," she announced excitedly. "Let's see, just have to activate the... Huh. Not surprising."

"Wanna fill us in?" Nate questioned.

"The radiation levels in there are off the charts. Too intense for my suit. See if you can find a better one. You'll have to head in there for me."

"Great," Nate said dryly. "You've been a great help, Allie."

"Sir--"

"Don't 'sir' me, Six. She's done jack shit so far." He stalked off to a side room and pulled on a heavy duty radiation suit.

"Sir, why don't I go in for you?" X6 offered. "As a Courser, I'm--"

"I already got the suit on, and you have to stay out here in case something happens and Allie needs help." With that he entered the decontamination chamber and pounded the button to secure the airlock. The suit's geiger counter clicked slow and steady as he traversed the catwalks to the Agitator. In the back of his mind he couldn't help but think that if Kellogg was here, he wouldn't be doing this. Not because he'd make Kellogg do it himself, but because Kellogg wouldn't let him.

Nate carefully removed the Agitator from its place, and an alarm sounded as the room was bathed in red. The sound of a turret caught his attention from above, and he only had an instant to register the splitting crack of his helmet before there was nothing.


	29. Chapter 29

Kellogg moved to retreat when he saw X6, knowing there was a good chance pretty boy was with him, but he paused when he noticed the person in his arms.

Nathan.

A surge of cold terror shot through him, and he caught up with the Courser. "What the fuck happened..." The last word trailed into a whisper, his eyes catching on the large dot of blood on the side of his forehead and the dried trail streaming from it. 

"He's alive," X6 informed. "Luckily I had a Serum 47 syringe with me. But he needs medical care immediately."

Kellogg nodded and rushed to find Doctor Volkert, his heart threatening to break through his ribcage. He almost felt like he was in a dream, his body heavy and his vision not quite clear, black spots threatening his sight. It took less than a minute to find the doc but it still felt like too long, and he had to repeatedly tell himself not to haul the man off his feet to get him to move faster.

"I'm not sure of the damage the bullet had caused," X6 reported, and if Kellogg didn't know any better he'd say that the synth was almost breathless. He was cleaning the blood from Nathan's forehead, the vaultie laid carefully on one of the med bays. "I got to him as quickly as I could and administered S-47, but I'm not sure if..."

"Move over please," Volkert mumbled, setting a medkit down on the table before reaching for one of his slim machines and connecting it to Nathan's arm. Volkert turned the readings screen towards him, and Kellogg held his breath.

After moments of silence, Volkert sighed and relaxed. "You administered the serum soon enough. There's lingering radiation in his system, it doesn't take care of that, but I can. He'll be fine."

Kellogg stumbled back and managed to land on the med bay next to them. Relief had gone through him so strongly and violently it took all his strength away, his ability to simply stay on his feet. "Fuck."

"I agree," X6 murmured.

"He needs to rest, of course," Volkert said, powering down his machine. "Should wake up soon."

"I'll inform Father about what happened," X6 offered. "Excuse me."

"Hold on," Kellogg told him as Volkert walked away. "How'd this happen in the first place?"

"Nathan went into the Agitator's chamber. The security kicked on once it was removed, and a turret's bullet pierced his radiation helmet."

"You let 'im go in himself? Why didn't you do it for 'im? Of course something like that is gonna have security."

"I suggested I go in his place, but he insisted."

"I don't give a single solitary fuck if he _insisted_ , you should've gone in yourself. You're way more equipped to handle something like that." He sighed. "Just... go tell the old man."

X6 shifted his weight and opened his mouth like he was going to respond, but instead he simply nodded and left.

 

Kellogg flopped down onto his back.  _You pushed him away to keep both of you from getting hurt, but it just meant not being there to protect him._

_He had X6 with him. I thought he'd be fine._

_Look how well that turned out. You really think anyone could protect him like you?_

_... Nah. He's safest with me._

_No shit, jackass. You want those big green eyes to stay on you? You gotta make sure they don't close for good. Best way to keep him alive is to stick with him. There's worse fates than that._

"Kellogg."

He sat up at Shaun's voice. "Sir."

"I'm not sure what you're doing here, but you're dismissed." He sat down by Nathan's side.

"Actually, sir, I thought I'd wait for him to wake up."

"That's not necessary. Go on."

"... Yes sir."  
 

* * *

   
Nate came to slowly, blinking until his vision cleared.

"Dean, he's awake."

"Right. Just a moment."

He lulled his head to the side to look up at Shaun. "What's...?"

"How are you feeling, father?" he questioned.

"... Got a killer headache."

"This should fix you right up," Volkert said, displaying a syringe in his hands before injecting it into Nate's neck.

"Ow," he grumbled, more out of habit than pain. 

"Do you remember what happened?" Shaun asked.

"I... yeah. I got shot, right?"

"That's... correct, yes. You should have allowed X6 to retrieve the Agitator. Coursers are designed for this type of work."

"Yeah, well..." He sat up, feeling his energy already returning. "Man, Institute chems are real heavy duty, huh. So what happened with the Agitator?"

"We've successfully installed it into the reactor. I was hoping to do so with you by my side, but Doctor Filmore insisted that we seal the agitator away to avoid any incidents."

"All right... Can I go to my, uh... quarters? I think I need to sleep this off. Getting nailed in the head with a bullet can take a lot out of a guy."

"Of course. We can speak more tomorrow. I'm glad that you came out of this well.”

"Yeah. Me too.”


	30. Chapter 30

Nate's heartbeat stuttered at the sight of Kellogg waiting in his room, sitting on the edge of the bed. 

"Connie." It left him without thought, and heat spread through Nate's chest as Kellogg neared, placing both of his hands on Nate's neck and staring into his eyes. His stomach fluttered wildly, and when Kellogg kissed him it was like all of his restored strength was taken away again, his legs growing weak and his hands clinging to Kellogg's shirt for support. It was deep and passionate, so much emotion packed into it Nate felt like he was drowning. Fuck, he had missed him.

"Should get shot in the head more often if it gets me a kiss like that," he mumbled when they broke apart. Kellogg huffed out a clipped breath, slowly shaking his head before kissing him again. This one was softer, slower. An apology. "Taking that last one into consideration, and the fact that I'm actually talking to you, are you done with your little episode? Can we get back to how things were?"

His eyes darted above Nate's, and he brushed a thumb over the spot where the bullet had hit. He nodded.

"Say something."

Kellogg swallowed hard. "... You were right. I did miss your smart ass remarks."

A grin split Nate's face, and Kellogg stared at him for another moment before pulling him into another kiss, this time leading him towards the bed. They shed their clothes on the short journey there and fell into a tangle of limbs when they hit the mattress, Kellogg's hands roaming over Nate's body rough and slow, like he was reminding himself of how he felt under his touch. "Pack," he said between kisses. Kellogg pulled away and searched the bag, finding a small jar. He coated himself in slick then tugged Nate closer by his legs, hooking them over his hips and pulling the vaultie onto his lap. With an arm around Kellogg's neck and a hand cradling the side of his head, Nate sunk himself down.

He stared down as Kellogg rolled and bucked his hips in a sluggish, deep pace, watched the muscles in his taut stomach bunch with his thrusts, his forearms tighten and strain from the weight of him reclining in his hands.

"Eyes up here, pretty boy."

Nate flicked his gaze back up to Kellogg's and almost came just by the look in his eyes. The angle of his thrusts sharpened, and Nate cried out, Kellogg hitting that sweet spot inside him. The operative stuck with it, keeping his pace slow and the pleasure incessant.

"Say my name," he ordered, voice thick. "Wanna hear you say it again."

"Conrad," Nate breathed.

He nipped at his jaw. "Try again."

His eyelids fluttered, widening for the slightest moment. He leaned closer, pressing his forehead to Kellogg's. "Connie." 

Kellogg's eyes slipped closed, and blindly he captured Nate's lips in another kiss. They didn't break apart for longer than a moment until Nate came with a silent moan, and Kellogg sucked a bruise onto his neck.

"Connie," Nate sighed, and Kellogg's thrusts turned erratic, his hips snapping powerfully. "Fuck, I missed you..."

When he came it was with a heavy sigh, spilling inside Nate with a deep groan, a sound that quickly became Nate's favorite.

Kellogg gently laid him down before stretching out on top of him, his head on Nate's shoulder, and the weight of him was the best comfort Nate's had since they last saw each other.  
 

 

"So," Nate drawled, breaking the comfortable silence that had settled. "How've you been?"

Kellogg snorted. "Catch up time?"

"Well we can skip it and go right to why you decided to toss me aside in the first place, if you prefer.”

Kellogg sighed. "... Everyone I've ever cared about is either dead, or were beaten down. Didn't want that to happen to you."

"You know that's not your fault, right? Out here, shit like that happens."

"Wasn't there for them. Wasn't there for you."

"Because you ditched me you absolute shithead."

"I know, I know."

"So try harder. Don't leave me again and I'm sure everything will be fine."

"You're pretty fuckin' sure, huh?"

"Well nothing too bad has happened to me since we got together. A couple weeks pass without you and I get shot in the head. Clearly the universe is trying to tell us something."

Kellogg chuckled, and a bout of silence passed before Nate spoke again.

"Did you sleep with anyone else while we were apart?"

"Did you?"

He shook his head.

"... Tried to. Wanted to prove to myself that I could, that it wasn't just you. Found some broad in Diamond City..."

"And?"

"And, I couldn't get it up, so I left."

Nate relaxed. "You just left 'er? That's kinda cruel, don't you think?"

Kellogg lifted his head. "What, you'd like it better if I tried harder?"

"No, but you could've like, faked a doc's appointment or something. Poor girl."

His head fell back down to Nate's shoulder. "Guess I lack that type of sympathy."

"... You're not knocking out, are you?"

"No, why."

"Wanna go again?"

Kellogg pushed himself up.


	31. Chapter 31

"So," Kellogg said, taking a hit from his cigar. "Director, huh?"

Nate lulled his head sidewise to stare at him - he himself was still panting, six rounds in that timespan could take a lot out of a guy, but Kellogg was as calm as could be. "Yeah. Director. I’ve been wondering how to tell Dez.”

“She ain’t gonna like it.”

“No shit. But I think she might be able to see reason.”

“And if she doesn’t?”

“Then we kill ‘em.”

Kellogg cocked a brow. "Yeah? Thought you liked 'em."

"They're too focused on synths. When I'm in charge I'm gonna help everyone. Maybe in this life I can be an okay kind of guy."

"Yeah, I think you can pull it off. Probably."

"The tremendous faith you have in me is staggering."

Kellogg shot him a smile. "Everything'll be fine."  
 

* * *

   
“I don’t _care_ ,” Dez snarled. “The Institute needs to be destroyed. No one in there is innocent, nothing created by those monsters is needed. Humanity does just fine without them.”

“How're you so fuckin’ blind!” Nate shouted. He had tried to be calm at the beginning of this conversation, but he’s been at it for 10 minutes and Desdemona hasn’t seen passed her hatred in the slightest. “I understand how you feel, Dez, okay? I do. But Father is the only one who—“

“It isn’t just him. The people who choose to follow his orders are just as responsible.”

Nate felt the fighting flame in his chest finally spark and flicker out. “Know what? Fuck it. Fuck you.” He turned and patted Kellogg’s bicep as a silent cue to leave, and as they left through the catacombs door Kellogg slapped a nuclear charge onto the old wood. As soon as they reached a safe distance, Nate set it off.

“Well,” he sighed after the old church went up in flames. “I tried.”

Kellogg nodded subtly. “… C’mon. Let’s get outta here.”  
 

* * *

   
“I can’t express how pleased I am,” Shaun told him. “We have been trying to get rid of them for years, and you simply…” he sighed contently. “Marvelous. While you were out, I dispatched a group of Coursers to retrieve the part we need for our reactor. I’m overjoyed to say that we now have reached our ultimate goal. All that’s left is…” He paused again, taking a breather.

Nate had noticed he was getting tired more easily, seemed pale and weak. He guessed the old man didn’t have much time left.

“Is the Brotherhood of Steel,” Shaun finished.

“The blimp guys?”

“Yes, father. The blimp guys.”

He nodded. “All right. So fire some missiles at it and we’re done.”

“I’m afraid it’s not that simple. The Prydwen is like a war ship, no mere artillery will take it down. Which is why I’ve had a team working on a set of explosives that you can attach to the interior of the airship and detonate at a safe distance. What remains of their organization afterward will think twice before meddling in our affairs again.”

“Uh…” Nate mumbled. “I hope you have a plan on how to get me up there.”

“Of course. I would not send you into this mission blindly. We’ve recently acquired one of their vertibirds. I understand that Kellogg has knowledge on how to operate one, so you simply need to disguise yourself as one of their initiates, plant the bombs and get out safely.”

“Glad you had all the hard stuff taken care of,” Nate joked. “So when do we do this?”

“Whenever you’re ready.”

He turned to Kellogg and shrugged. “Now?”

“Sure. Now’s good.”

“Nice. So where’s the vertibird?”  
 

* * *

   
“Wow,” Nate breathed, urging himself to not look down as Kellogg flew the ‘bird to the Prydwen. “I hate this.”

“Afraid of heights?”

“Not a fan.”

“Just focus on what you gotta do. I’ll keep the ‘bird docked while you plant the bombs, but you gotta act cool.”

“So just be myself? Easy.”

“God, you’re a shithead.”

“But you love me anyway.”

Kellogg glared at him sidewise, a look that said _you got me there_. It lightened the nervousness in Nate’s chest.

Kellogg smooth-talked his way through comms, getting the hangar attendant to lower a docking port for them. Nate jumped off dressed in an orange jumpsuit, and he gave Kellogg a mock Brotherhood salute before heading inside.

It was easy enough to plant the bombs - the Lancers and Knights didn’t seem too concerned with some lowly initiate. But the plan was thrown off by the appearance of a young boy, no older than 10 years.

“Hey there,” Nate greeted. “Uh… how many kids are there on here?”

“There’s currently six of us, sir,” he answered, standing tall.

Nate held back a groan. “Okay, uh… My name’s Nate, and I’m gonna take you guys on a field trip. Sound good?”

“A field trip? Where are we going?”

“That’s a surprise. Just grab your friends and come with me.”

“… Yes sir.”

  
 

“What the shit, Nate,” Kellogg said, voice low and harsh.

“Field trip,” he said simply as he helped the kids on board. “Let’s go.”

As soon as they were at a safe distance, Nate discreetly pressed the detonator in his pocket, and the Prydwen turned into a fire show. “Oh no!” he exclaimed as the kids gasped. “What a terrible and unexpected accident!”

“Christ,” Kellogg grumbled. “So what now?”

Three of the kids started to cry, and Nate gathered them closer. “… Diamond City? I heard there's a bot there that likes kids.”


	32. Chapter 32

“It… doesn’t look good. You should go talk to him. Might be your last chance.”

Nate saw Kellogg turn to him in peripheral view when Volkert gave the news. The vaultie simply nodded, excused the doctor and turned to Kellogg. “Uh… give me a few minutes?”

"'Course," Kellogg nodded. "I'll be here."

 

Father was laying in a customized med bay, pale and tired. He looked fragile, like he'd shatter if Nate touched him. 

"Hey, Shaun," he greeted, tone hushed.

"Hello, father," Shaun responded, voice low. "I've already heard the news. But of course you wouldn't be here if it weren't a success. I'm glad it worked, but... I'm glad your safe."

Nate nodded, his eyes darting away from his son's. "Are you comfortable?"

"It is kind of you to ask. Yes, I am content. But I don't have much time, I'm afraid. Once I'm gone, it's all up to you..." He paused for a moment, took in a slow, rasping breath. "I spent years wondering what you were like. Thinking about all we missed out on. I want you to know... I'm grateful for the time we've had."

The realization suddenly hit Nate that Shaun probably didn't have a father figure growing up, didn't have what Nate had needed himself. Just a group of people pushing him to do harder.

"I'm proud of you, Shaun," Nate told him, voice choked. Even if it was a lie, he thought Shaun needed to hear it. 

He smiled. "Thank you... father. I think... I think I'd like to sleep now."

Nate spoke as Father closed his eyes. "I'll take care of this place. Promise."

 

* * *

 

 

Kellogg stood right behind Nathan on the balcony, hands clasped behind his back. Everyone was gathered around below.

“So,” Nathan started. “There’s gonna be some changes. Any generation 3 synths that wanna leave? You’re free to go.” Gasps erupted, and Nathan groaned. “C’mon, I’ve barely started. Hold the shocked exclamations for the end. As I was saying, the gen 3’s that wanna leave, you can go. I’ll set something up to make it as organized as possible. The ones who wanna stay and keep their jobs are free to do so. I’ll have the new space that’s being built turned into quarters for you. Eggheads, we’re gonna slow way the fuck down on synth production, we don’t need to keep belting them out like they’re factory items. You’re making people. I don’t care how you see it, that’s how it is. I see any of you treat the synths poorly, or like they’re trash, you’re gonna deal with me. Or, if situation calls for it, Kellogg. You don’t have to be overjoyed about it, you don’t even have to talk to them. Just stop treating them like you’re so much better. Because, no offense, you’re not that great. You’re smart, but not great. Maybe from the slack you’re gonna get you’ll develop better personalities. Synth Retention, you’re not permitted to search for escaped synths anymore. But I’ll allow the search for rogues that are causing trouble, harming people.”

“This is absurd!” Ayo exclaimed. “Just minutes after Father’s death and you’re already—“

“Kellogg?”

He smirked and shifted his weight, which was enough to have Ayo shrinking back.

“Okay! Okay,” the scientist grumbled.

“Great. All right, that’s all for now. Go on, shoo.” He waited for the crowd to scatter before turning to Kellogg. “How’d I do?”

“Exactly how I expected.”

“I dunno whether that’s a compliment or an insult.”

“It’s whatever you want it to be.” Nathan narrowed his eyes at that. "You did fine. So now that that’s all done, is it okay if I let Mae pay a visit? There’s some places here that she misses.”

“Course, she’s welcome back any time.”

“Great.” He leaned in for a quick kiss, and when he pulled away Nathan giggled stupidly. “Okay, well I’m never doing that again.”

The new Director chased him out by his heels with a stupid grin. “No, no, wait—“


	33. Chapter 33

“Welcome back,” Kellogg said as they relayed into the facility. “Guessin’ you wanna—“

Mae bolted for the Network.

“Thought so.” He raced after her, was almost smothered by her excitement on the elevator ride down. When they reached the city-sized room, Mae breathed out a laugh.

“Fuck, I missed this place,” she sighed. “The lights, the warmth, the scale of it all.”

“You gonna play around for a while?”

“Yeah, I wanna catch up on files. But… tell Nate to meet me in the Director’s quarters in an hour.”

“Sure. Have fun.”

“Oh, I will.”

 

* * *

 

Nate stood up from the couch when Mae walked in. “Hey you. Wanted to see me?”

“I did,” she smiled. “First off, how are you? I don’t know how hard his death hit you.”

“I’m fine. Great, actually. I got Kellogg, the power to turn this place around, and a chance to help people out there.”

Mae hummed a laugh. “Good to hear.”

“So, what’d you need?”

“I want you to log into Father’s terminal. He gave you the password, right?”

“Uh, yeah.” He dug into his pocket for the slip of paper and handed it to her. “I thought you were some hacker goddess? What d’you need a password for?”

“Father’s terminal has a certain kind of security set up. I would use my p.i.p for the level of protection he has, but it’d be traced back to me in seconds and set off a widespread alarm. We don’t want that." 

“So are you looking for anything specific?”

“My parents died when I was just a kid. They told me it was a ‘tragic lab accident’, but there’s no record of it on any terminals - not even in the hidden files. But Father’s personal terminal isn’t connected to the Network, so it could have secrets only he knows… Oh _hello_.”

Nate stood their patiently as she read through a report, then waited even longer as she searched through files until finally finding what she was looking for.

Mae straightened up, and Nate pushed off the desk. “So…?”

She gestured to the terminal as she turned to leave. “See for yourself.”

Nate watched her go, a strange air tailing after her, then sat down at the terminal, where three documents were opened in a file titled, "Persons of interest".

_Mae Vivienne ~~Santos~~ —Orphaned, given independent surname—  Sullivan_

_Sex: Female_

_Current age: twenty-six (26)_

_Blood type: B- (noted rarity - schedule occasional draws)_

_Family chain connected to: Rio de Janeiro,Brazil - Lyon,France_

_assigned job: ~~Network Engineer~~ \- ~~Commonwealth Informant~~_

_Notes:_

_Gone Rogue. Search ongoing, memory wipe scheduled for her immediate return._

_\---_

_Scylla Vannier_

_Sex: Female_

_Current age: twenty-nine (29)_

_Blood type: O-_

_Family Chain connected to: Lyon,France_

_Assigned job: Advanced Systems_

_Notes:_

_Interfered in classified project. Eliminated._

_\---_

_Lúcio Renan Santos_

_Sex: Male_

_Current age: thirty-three (33)_

_Blood type: AB_

_Family Chain connected to: Rio de Janeiro, Brazil_

_Assigned job: Advanced Systems_

_Notes:_

_Interfered in classified project. Eliminated._

  
A knock against the wall, and Nate turned in his chair. “Hey. Mae tell you what she found?”

Kellogg sighed. “Yeah. She's taking it well, but that's not surprising. She's had 20 years to move on."

"Did you know her parents? Considering you're old as fuck."

Kellogg leaned against the desk, arms crossed. "Yeah. Her mother's actually the one who designed the enhancements Claudette and I were given. Her father perfected them. I think..." He reached over and tapped a few keys on the terminal, and a photo popped up. "There's her mother."

Nate nodded subtly, taking in the photo. Mae had definitely gotten her facial features. Delicate, feminine. But her hair was light and eyes a crystalline blue.

"And..." A few more key strikes, and a second photo appeared over the first. "Her father."

"Woah," Nate mumbled, scanning over the man's picture. Golden skin, thick black hair and whiskey-colored eyes, a strong jaw and high cheekbones. "Hello daddy..." Kellogg thwacked him on the back of the head. "Ow, all right, I was just kidding! Jeez." He turned away from the terminal and leaned back. "So you knew them?"

"We weren't friends or nothin', but yeah. I knew 'em."

"What about the project they were killed over?"

"No one knew about it. Just the old man, a couple of eggheads and Mae's parents."

"Hm." He spun around in the chair, once and all the way around. "... So what now?"

Kellogg shrugged a shoulder. "Wanna check out the off limit places?"

"Um, fuck yes? Let's go."

"Mind if we take Mae? She's always wanted to see what's back there."

"'Course."

 

They found her at the center of the atrium with Liam, her shirt lifted up to expose her lacy bra, and Liam examining it nice and close.

"Mae, put your fuckin' shirt down," Kellogg called. "You're flashin' like 15 people."

"Ah, so what," she responded. "Maybe they'll like what they see and decide to spice things up a bit. So, Liam?"

"Yeah, I can make another one," he said, straightening up. "What color do you want?"

"I was thinking something golden."

"I can do that."

She pulled her shirt down. "What is, Connie, I've got catching up to do."

"We're checking out the off limit places," Nate told her. "Wonderin' if you wanted to tag along."

"Really? Hell yeah! I'll find you later, Liam."

 

The first few rooms weren't as exciting as Nate had expected, but the sixth one was a jackpot - the belongings of every rogue resident of the Institute. Mae had begun searching for her parents' things immediately, finding them within 10 minutes.

"Why couldn't my dad just write in english," she grumbled, flipping through a stack of papers. "All of his writings are in Spanish."

"Portuguese," Kellogg corrected. "Your father spoke Portuguese. His parents went through the trouble of teaching him the language, so he put it to use."

"Aren't they pretty much the same?"

"Pretty much, but there's some differences."

"Do you speak Portuguese?" Nate piped up, staring at Kellogg.

"Yeah, I do."

"And you never thought to tell me?"

"Why would I? You don't speak it."

"'Cause it's hot as fuck? What else do you speak?"

"Every language that's been introduced inside the Institute. Portuguese, Spanish, French, German, Italian--"

Mae thrust a paper against his chest. "What's this say? It was in maman's--" she cleared her throat, "mom's stuff, but it's in dad's language."

Kellogg smoothed the creases out, and the further he read the bigger his smile got. "Well?" Mae questioned.

"I don't think you wanna know," Kellogg told her. "It's, uh... a poem."

"So?"

"It's a bit on the sexual side."

Mae sputtered and lashed her hand out. "Then give it back, you shouldn't read it--"

"Ah ah ah," Kellogg chided, lifting the paper higher so she couldn't reach, but at an angle that allowed him to keep reading. "Let me finish it."

"Well read it to me," Nate volunteered, and surprisingly Kellogg pulled him closer, pinning Nate's back to his chest and keeping an arm slung over his shoulder as he whispered in his ear in the foreign language. Low, thrumming and husky.

Mae made a dramatic noise of disgust when Nate choked out a moan, and she snatched the poem away. "I'm two seconds away from punching both of you. So my mom knew Portuguese too?"

"Yeah, and your father knew French. They taught each other. If I remember right, it's what brought 'em together. They tried to teach you, too, didn't they?"

"They started to, but I didn't learn much before they died, and afterwards I never bothered to learn."

Nate leaned against the table next to Kellogg. "The fact that your old man was Brazilian, it makes sense why you're body's so incredible."

Mae giggled, and Kellogg looked at him tiredly. "All right, relax with the flirting, pretty boy."

"Right. Forgot you're the jealous type."

"Uh oh," Mae mumbled. "Good luck with that. It feels good at first, but after a while a jealous boyfriend gets annoying. You _are_ in a relationship, right?"

They both looked at Kellogg, and he blinked at them. "Do you really need to ask?" 

Nate smiled. "Guess that's as good an answer as any."

Mae squeezed herself between them and draped her arms over their shoulders. "I can feel it now, boys. This is the start of something great."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end! Hope you liked it :) Kudos and comments are always appreciated, so thanks to everyone who leaves them. I've got a tag for Nate on my tumblr (wildwasteland) if you wanna check it out
> 
> Thanks for reading! 
> 
> \- Ellie


End file.
